Jin sat quietly in a cafe, typing away on her laptop. The weather had begun to grow warmer and the cherry blossoms that lined the streets had begun to sprout. In a few weeks they would begin to flower into their beautiful pinks and reds and although the world around her had begun to rebirth itself, Jin felt somewhat lifeless inside.

Two nights before, Jin had received a call from Kris asking if she would agree to meet her father. Of course she couldn't give him a straight answer when he had called so he had given her a day to think about it. Up until she was five she had lived with her father, but once she had been gotten to middle school, he had sent her off to private schools that provided room and board. Since her 13th birthday, they had given her money as compensation and bribery for keeping her birth a secret. She never understood though, why they would treat her like that. Why they would treat their daughter like that.

The questions that she had never asked about had never been answered. They were always avoided and ignored and maybe her meeting with him would provide answers. And so Jin agreed and that was why she was here.

Just sitting there waiting was nerve wracking. She hadn't seen her parents in ages, the last time being in a picture on Kris' Wiebo from his birthday a few years ago. The last time she had spoken to them was back in high school and from what she remembered, it went less than well. She still received money from them and she still disliked them, but her hate for them had begun to subside. There were so many things she had to thank them for. Without them, she wouldn't have been able to do so well in school to prove herself to them, she wouldn't have taken songwriting up to express her sorrows, she wouldn't have gotten into her high school and met her wonderful teachers, she wouldn't have been able to meet her Kris, and she wouldn't have met them. Even though she did not harbour feelings of hate for them anymore, she could not say that she forgave them. How could she forgive them? How would they even be able to ask for her forgiveness? There were so many things they had done to her, so many things they had said. It wasn’t like she didn’t care. She had feelings, she had emotions and she had been hurt multiple times by them. How did they expect her to just… forgive and forget?

Jin heard the bell of the entrance ring and she looked up. It was her dad and strangely her mother wasn't there. They were usually always together when she saw them, her father indifferent and her mother venomous and bitter. When he looked in her direction, Jin closed her laptop and stood with her hands folded respectfully in front of her. She saw his lips curve up slightly as he nodded toward her, walking in her direction. The sudden show of emotion surprised her. As he pulled the chair across from her out, she bowed slightly and waited for him to take his seat before sitting back down.

“It's been awhile since I've last seen you, Jinhye.” he said. Jin nodded and allowed him to call her her full name.

“When I arrived I ordered you a cup of green tea with honey.” Jin said gesturing politely to the steaming cup, “I wasn't sure what to order for you so I just ordered this. I remembered that you used to drink this all the time when I was a child.” Jin father looked at the cup and then back up at Jin with a remorseful smile and nodded as he pulled the cup carefully toward him.

“Thank you.” he said softly. As he sipped on his tea, Jin studied him, noticing how much he had aged since the last time she had seen him. His hair was decorated with grays and silvers and the wrinkles along his eyes and lips seemed to have magnified since.

“What made you want to see me so suddenly.” she asked curiously to break the silence. “It’s been about 4 years since our last meeting.”

“Well I met with Yifan a last week and he happened to mention your return from America.” he said setting the cup back down, “I just wanted to greet you and welcome you back.” Jin hadn’t expected that answer to come from him. She expected that he needed a favor from her or he was going to ask her to do something.  

“I hear that you and Yifan are working at the same company.”

“Ah, yes, we are.” Jin said, “It just… just kind of happened that way.” Jin’s father nodded and an awkward pause enveloped them. Jin didn’t know what else to say. She knew virtually nothing about him and couldn’t think about anything to keep their conversation from turning into something stiff and awkward like it was now. Usually when she met with them, it erupted into argument and since it wasn’t the case this time, she was unsure of how to react.

“So… where’s mom?” she asked.

“Oh yes, she doesn’t know that I’m meeting you right now.” he said with a sigh. “I didn’t let her know because I knew that she would be upset with me seeing you and me telling you what I’m about to tell you today” Jin cocked her brow slightly as her curiosity peaked.

“And what is that?” Her father sighed and leaned back into his seat. His eyes seemed to be clouded in doubt and apprehensiveness. Jin was confused and had become slightly anxious. What did he have to tell her? She assumed it was bad news from his expression, news that she wouldn’t want to hear. It seemed like he didn’t know what to say or how to start his sentence. It reminded Jin of how a shy student would look if they had to give a presentation by themselves in front of a class. A short, pregnant pause engulfed them and eventually, he sighed and slowly looked up at Jin.

“Why we’ve kept you away from the family.” he said with a sigh, “I know that we should have told you this a long time ago but… I never had the confidence to tell you.” Jin was taken aback. She didn’t know that he was going to tell her so suddenly like this, that he was going to surprise her like this today. There was so much that she wanted to know but there was so much that she hadn’t been ready for.

“As you know, I’m a prominent figure within the media and a stain on my record could mean my career no matter how small the stain may be. When I was younger, I was just a small, insignificant politician trying to find my way and I did not want to marry until I had my feet rooted firmly into the Korean politics and once I was able to make something of myself, your grandparents had arranged for me to marry my current wife who, at the time, was the daughter of a close family friend. However, about two, maybe almost three, years before I was to marry her, I met a woman in Jeju where I was campaigning.” For a moment, Jin swore that she saw her father smile before returning to his usually solid expression. “She was the daughter of small crab restaurant owner in an even smaller town and I guess you could classify what we had as a ‘love at first sight’ story. How cliche it must sound. A typical romance between the lion and the lamb. I loved your mother and I always have but… neither of us were in the state to love one another… It was supposed to be a short romance that stayed in Jeju. Something small, something that I could forget. We both accepted that fact, we both understood that we weren’t meant or made for each other so we decided to part ways. In no way did I expect you.”

“Wait…” Jin said with slightly wide eyes, “Wait, so you’re saying that… that the woman you’re married to now isn’t my mother?” Jin’s heart pumped loudly in her chest as the adrenaline and anxiety set in.

“No,” he said with a shake of his head, “She is not. I known my wife years before I met your mother. My parents were very close friends with her parents and we had always grown up together. Prior to our marriage, I had known for a long time that she had feelings for me that I didn’t reciprocate. She was content with a loveless marriage because she knew that she would be able to stay with me.”

“My real mother, where is she? What happened to her?”

“She… she passed when you were a toddler.” He told her, a hit of sorrow evident in his voice. “That’s why you grew up with me. I believe you were two or three at the time. I didn’t know when I met your mother, but she had been diagnosed with cancer about a year before our meeting. She was dying and as her dying wish, she asked if I could raise you believing that I would be able to provide you with a better life. Although my wife strongly opposed, I convinced her to let me take care of you and the only way she would agree to it was if you stayed until you were old enough to take care of yourself.”

“Was that why she hated me so much?” Jin asked. Things had finally begun to piece themselves together. Why her father paid so little attention to her and why her mother-- her father’s wife loathed her existence. “It was because I was.. was some bastard child of your first love?”

“My wife is a good woman. She can be kind. She is a very proud, a very strong willed and opinionated woman. Ironically, she reminds me of yourself. But, unfortunately, jealousy is also a very strong and prominent trait that she possess. But I could not blame her for what she felt. No one knows about this so I hope that you’ll keep this a secret.”

“A few years after our marriage, she began wishing for children and after 2 years of failure, we went to the doctor and found that she was infertile and  would not be able to have children of her own. We didn’t know until after we married so I suppose that you being the child of another woman made her feel insecure about herself. But anyway, you already know that my wife is half Korean and half Chinese. When you were a child, she left for long periods of time while you were in elementary school. During that time, she had gone to China to adopt Yifan. For a long time he stayed with her side of the family and once you had reached middle school, that was when he was able to move to Korea. She didn’t want him to grow up with you and I still don’t know why but she loved Yifan dearly.”

Listening to it all… it was so much to take in all at once. It was confusing and it brought back feelings that she had wanted to forget. There were so many things she wanted to say but she couldn’t find the words. There were so many things running through her head right now but she couldn’t think clearly. She had gotten her answers but yet she left like she had been left in the dark. The person she believed was her mother turned out to be nothing but a stranger and her biological mother was dead. Jin’s stomach clenched and flopped and her heart beat quickly in her chest. She was upset but relieved, she was angry but calm all at the same time. She sat there in calm frustration and mulled over the predicament that had dictated her entire life. Jin wasn’t sure of who she was anymore or of what she knew. Her entire life had been lead by lies and had been nothing but lies. She needed to be sure of one thing though, she needed to at least understand one thing.

“After you took me in, I lived with you until was 12. That was 12 whole years in your home and under your care. We had dinners together, we used to play together and read together. You used to buy me ice cream and little hair bows for my birthday. You used to treat me like… like someone you knew, like your daughter. I used to man something to you and I was