“-in? Jongin?” Jongin is pulled from his thoughts by his math teacher, crossing his arms, head tilted down to look over the small wire glasses.

     “I'm sorry, what was the question?” Jongin asks.

     The teacher clears his throat out of annoyance and points to the board. “What is the answer to question five?”

     Jongin looks down at his blank sheet of paper and looks back up at the teacher.

     “83,” Kyungsoo whispers from beside him.

     “Uh, 83?” Jongin answers. The teachers hesitates for a moment before nodding.

     “Correct.” He turns around and continues droning on about something to do with angles and things that aren't on Jongin's mind right now.

     “Are you okay?” Kyungsoo whispers, leaning towards Jongin

     “Yeah, I just have a lot of things on my mind,” Jongin replies.

     “You've been having a lot of things on your mind lately.”

     “I have?”

     Kyungsoo nods. “I hardly see you anymore, and when I do, you're always spacing out.”

     “Sorry,” Jongin apologizes, feeling guilty. It's true, he's been spending a lot of time with Sehun lately and neglecting Kyungsoo and Yixing.

     “I have a concert coming up in a few days, you're going to be there, right?” Kyungsoo asks.

     Jongin grins and puts his hand on Kyungsoo's thigh, squeezing it lightly. “Wouldn't miss it for the world.”

     can u come out? Sehun texts Jongin in English. He frowns at his phone, confused as to why the younger isn't in the class, and then looks around before typing back a quick yes. He asks to go to the bathroom and leaves with a pass in his hand.

     Jongin's about to text Sehun and ask where he is when Sehun steps in front of him, nearly causing Jongin to fall over.

     “Don't do that,” he hisses, shoving his phone back into his pocket. Sehun laughs. “What do you want?” Jongin asks, crossing his arms.

     Sehun shrugs, stuffing his hands in his pockets. “I was bored and wanted someone to hang out with.”

     “Sehun, I can't just skip class. I'm supposed to be in English....with you.”

     Sehun waves him off, starting to walk forward. Jongin hesitates, his rebellious side still too amateur for this kind of stuff, but lets out a huff and follows.

     “Where are we going?” Jongin asks. Sehun points up.

     “Roof.”

     “But that's restricted for students.”

     Sehun laughs, and Jongin remembers he has to work on what he says in front of the other.

     “Why are we going to the roof?” he tries again.

     “You ask so many questions,” Sehun says. He coughs and then takes a left into a more secluded area. There's a small set of stairs that lead to a door with the words clearly written NO STUDENTS PERMITTED BEYOND THIS POINT. He's tempted to turn around, but then remembers that it wouldn't be very....Sehunish. So he continues and follows him up the steps and onto the roof.

     The wind is whipping around him, throwing his hair around and stinging his eyes, and he regrets not bringing a coat because the weather wasn't summer weather any longer. Sehun looks unfazed.

     “Smoke?” Sehun asks, pulling a carton out of his pocket.

     “We're...” Jongin trails off, instead just taking one and lighting it up. They stand by the edge in silence for a while and he can hear the next period bell ring from below. He wonders when it stopped being a habit to get up and leave for the next class, but his mind wanders off away from his next class.

     There's a buzz in his pocket and he pulls it out to look at it.

     Where are you? It's from Kyungsoo, and he remembers that they usually meet up in the halls at this time, but instead of replying with some lame excuse, he stuffs it back in his pocket and exhales smoke.

     “Are you going to get treated?” Jongin brings up after a while of silence. Sehun doesn't reply quickly, instead taking another drag of the cigarette.

     “No,” he says as he breaths out smoke.

     “Why?”

     Sehun shrugs. “We're all going to die anyway, who cares if the process is sped up.”

     Jongin turns to him. “Look at me, Sehun,” he says. When Sehun turns, Jongin blows smoke in his face. “Stop saying that kind of stuff. It's hurtful.”

     Sehun laughs out loud. “Hurtful? To you? Why? When I die, you'll forget about all of this, all of us. I'll just be a bad influence that goes away like all the others. You don't need me to be here and tell you that.”

     “Yes I do, Sehun,” Jongin says louder than he means. Sehun stops mid drag. He assumes the other is waiting for him to continue, so he does. “Look,” he starts, dropping the on the ground and stepping on it with his heel, “just because you don't care about whether you live or die, doesn't mean that others don't.”

     Sehun's eyes slide over to Jongin. “Why do you care so much?”

     And Jongin stops. He honestly doesn't know. He's not dating Sehun, he's not related, and he really only just met him in the beginning of summer. “I...” Jongin trails off, not really knowing what to say.

     “I'm not anyone special, Jongin. I'm just another person who dies eventually. Sooner or later, it doesn't matter to me.” Sehun drops his cigarette on the ground and walks back inside, leaving Jongin to stare out over the rooftop.

     When he gets back inside the school, it's in the middle of the lunch period. He sits down in his regular seat and rests his arm behind Kyungsoo. Sehun is across from him, nodding along to an enthusiastic Yixing as he explains something or other.

     “Are you okay?” Kyungsoo asks quietly so only they can hear.

     “Yeah, why?”

     “You weren't there in the hall, and you've been gone for half of lunch. Not to mention you smell like smoke. Are you sure you don't smoke?”

     Jongin doesn't want to lie to Kyungsoo, but he also don't want to break his heart and tell him yes, I am having a very early midlife crisis and just now deciding to try out new things and change how I live my life. So he just shrugs. He doesn't look at Kyungsoo because he doesn't want to see his hurt face as his actions, so he stares at the clock and waits for the bell to signal the end of lunch.

**

ah, there may or may not be a double update. sorry about not updating yesterday i was talking with my friends the whole day. was it yesterday? eh, i don't remember. days on the weekend just kind of mush together.