Jongin's parents pick him up in the early hours of the morning. Once Sehun, Jongin, and Kyungsoo find out that Yixing is stable, just needing some rest, Jongin calls his parents and waits by the exit with the other two for them to pick them all up. They end up crashing in Jongin's living room, all much too exhausted to go their separate ways and they all need to be around someone at the moment. 

     For that night, Jongin lets himself forget about everything that he's done wrong and just acts as if nothing has changed between them all. He pretends that Sehun isn't someone who is creating distance between him and Kyungsoo and just pretends that he's known Sehun all his life and this sleep over is like the ones that he used to have with Yixing, and eventually Kyungsoo, before he met Sehun. 

     It's nice, he thinks to himself as his eyes close, to have Kyungsoo not angry at him, curled into his side like he always used to, and not having to worry about what will happen next in their relationship. Jongin lets himself relax into Kyungsoo's back and breathes in his scent that used to be an imprint on his mind, but now seems like a distant memory.

     When Jongin wake up, it's late, probably around noon, and he's grateful that his parents didn't try to wake them up for school. He doesn't think any of them right now would be able to learn about the difference between can and may or what X equals. 

     Sehun is already up, sitting around and playing on his phone. Jongin slides away from Kyungsoo carefully and moves himself next to him. "How'd you sleep?" he asks, rubbing his eyes. Sehun shrugs. 

     "I'm sorry about Yixing," he says, locking his phone and setting it on his lap. He looks at Jongin and offers a small smile. Jongin smiles back in thanks and looks up at the ceiling. 

     "Kyungsoo told me it's because Yifan cheated on him, but still. I've known Yixing all my life and never before have I thought he'd be someone to get so worked up over something like that, much les commit suicide."

     "Sometimes the happiest people are the people who are the most depressed, but they try so hard to make people smile because they don't ever want anyone else to feel as worthless as they do."

     Jongin swallows, feeling horrible for not catching Yixing's behavior and not being there for his friend. "I think what makes it all worse is that we saw Yifan that one day cheating but I never said anything because I didn't think anything of it," Jongin mutters, closing his eyes and leaning his head against the back of the couch. "I should have caught on. I should have said something to Yifan."

     "What would that have accomplished, Jongin? Yifan would feel horrible and maybe have ended it with either of them, but even if he stayed with Yixing, he wouldn't have been able to hold it together. Yixing was bound to find out," Sehun reassures, patting Jongin's shoulder. His hand looks smaller and Jongin wants to not think about it because he doesn't think he can take any more right now.

     "I still feel like I should have done something. I had-"

     "Jongin, I promise you there was nothing you could do." Jongin lets out a breath and Sehun shifts on the couch. 

     They head off to see Yixing after they get ready for the day. It's a bus ride that feels long and quiet despite the children crying and loud conversations around them. Kyungsoo looks especially tired and worn and Jongin wants to wipe it all away.

     When the reach Yixing's room, he's awake and gives a large grin when he seems them enter. If Jongin didn't know better, he would think that nothing was wrong with his best friend. But he did know better and the white bandages with some red peeking through made him feel sick. He gives back a light smile and pulls him into a hug.

     "Don't do that again. You scared us," Jongin whispers, closing his eyes and thanking anything that Yixing is still alive and breathing. 

     He can feel Yixing smile back and when he pulls away, it looks sincere this time. Not that any other smile of Yixing's wasn't sincere, but this one was different.

     "What were you thinking?" Kyungsoo snaps and Jongin is afraid that Kyungsoo is actually going to start off an actual argument with Yixing, but instead, he pulls Yixing into a hug and whisperes something that Jongin can't hear but he likes the way Yixing lets out a small laugh. 

     They sit in there for a while, talking about everything and anything but avoiding any touchy subjects like the nurses had asked them to. It almost makes Jongin feel like everything will be fine and back to normal but he knows that isn't the case. Nothing ever goes back to normal. 

     They start to head home a few hours later, figuring Yixing would want to sleep after everything that's happened. Kyungsoo and Jongin get up to head our and Jongin doesn't notice that Sehun hasn't followed them. He stops and turns around to look at them, but Sehun doesn't look back, only giving a small smile to Sehun. 

     "I want to tell you that everything will be better tomorrow," Sehun starts and Jongin frowns, "but I've seen so many tomorrows and nothing has changed. You can either live in a changed world, or adapt to it and grow. Whatever your choice, I know you and I know that you'll make it work some how."

a/n: wow this is such a bad chapter. and it took so long. wow. so much disappointment with myself. and it's two in the morning and i don't want to have to look at grammar and mistakes so please do not judge. i am too fragile.