"And that's how I got a detention last year," Jongin finishes with his story, grinning at Yixing laughing. 

     "Why would you even tell that lie? My dog wouldn't even believe it!"

     "I was on the spot. If I'm going to tell a believable lie, I need at least two weeks notice. Not to mention it was the first time I had gotten in trouble since I was five."

     Yixing starts laughing again and Jongin joins in. It isn't until a few minutes that they settle down and the high mood falls at Yixing's next words. 

     "I have to tell you something," he starts, chewing on his bottom lip. 

     "What is it?"

     "My parents are worried about me."

     "I guess that's reasonable-"

     "They're moving back to China."

     Jongin frowns. "Wait, they're moving back to China without you? Didn't you just say that they're worried about you?"

     Yixing shakes his head and looks down at his hands. "They're taking me with them. They think I'll get better there."

     Jongin can feel his high from laughing fall and everything turn sour around him. "W-what?"

     "We're leaving once the doctor discharges me."

     Jongin nods slowly, taking it in. "A-and when will--when will that be?"

     Yixing shrugs and picks at one of the bandages. 

     "Do you think you'll ever come back?" He shrugs again. Jongin runs his hands through his hair and stands up. "I, uh, need to be somewhere." And he runs.

     He finds himself in Sehun's room, sitting in his usual spot, smoking away and thousands of thoughts running through his head. He's so caught up in it all that he doesn't hear Sehun and jumps when the other pushes his feet away from where they're resting so he can sit next to him. 

     "What's wrong? I'm supposed to be the angsty one."

     Jongin takes another long drag of his cigarette, trying to bring himself back and find his voice. "Yixing."

     "What about him? Is he getting better?"

     "Yeah, it's not his condition, it's his parents."

     "Are they getting a divorce?"

     Jongin shakes his head. "No, they're taking him back to China."

     "."

     "Yeah. He's leaving once he gets out."

     "That's really rough, man, I'm sorry. Do you need me to do anything?"

     Jongin shakes his head. "I'm just--nothing."

    "No, let it out. It's better to let it out than in."

     Jongin wonders if Sehun actually has the right to say such a sentence, but he doesn't say anything else about it. "Everything around me is changing. You're dying, Yixing almost died and is now moving to another country, Kyungsoo hates me, my parents are saying that they hardly know me, and I just don't know what happened. One minute everything was so perfect and now it's--it's....this. I've made such a mess and dug a hole so deep I'm not even sure I can get out of it anymore."

     "You can always get out-"

     "Can I though? I mean, what if I get such bad grades at the end of my school career that I won't be able to go anywhere in life.What's going to happen if nothing will work out for me and I'll end up alone in a place I hate with people I hate and wanting to die and making things worse for myself. What if I end up--" Jongin stops suddenly and bites his lip.

     "Like me, right?"

     "Sehun, you know I don't mean that."

     "No, I'm not sure I do. I mean, I dragged you into this mess I call my life. It's only right that you'd hate me for it."

     "I don't hate you, Sehun, I'm just frustrated."

     "Then there's another thing that I rubbed onto you."

     "Stop, that's not what I meant-"

     "No, really, Jongin, I get it. I'm just some poor kid who you felt bad for but then realized your mistake and want to take it all back."

     "No, that's not-"

     "I'm just another loser who should die, right?"

     "Stop! Jesus, Sehun! Stop! Don't pull out your pity card on me right now. You're boyfriend died, I'm sorry. You're letting your life slip apart, I'm sorry for that too. Hell, while we're at it, let's get angry at me for you refusing to do anything about your cancer! Let's blame me for everything! Because I'm the privileged kid who doesn't have enough to worry about."

     Sehun clenches his jaw and crosses his arms. "Is that what this is all about? Me dying?"

     "No! It's about Kyungsoo hating me, my best friend dying from cancer, and now my other best friend trying to take his life and moving to another country! Christ, it's about everything!"

     Sehun's face softens. "You're face is wet," he points out. Jongin lets out a laugh as he wipes the tears on his face.

     "Thanks, Sehun. They're called tears. I imagine you've cried before."

     It's quiet for what feels like hours until Jongin says, "Please don't die, Sehun."

     "Why?"

     "Why?" Jongin laughs, throwing the forgotten cigarette out the window, "Why not? You're so young and still have so much to learn about the world. Please."

     "Jongin, we've gone over this befor-"

     "I know we have. I know. But that was before all of this. It was before Kyungsoo was ready to kill me, before Yixing was ready to kill himself. If you leave, then I'll be alone."

     "Don't use yourself as an excuse, Jongin. It's controlling and wrong."

     "You're one to talk."

     Sehun rubs his face and lets out a long and tired sigh. "We don't even know if I can still live from this, though."

     "Then let's go and find out."

     "Now?"

     Jongin shakes his head. "No, but soon."

     "I--I'll rethink it, all right?"

a/n: wow.....i took forever to update this...my bad. writer's block is a real pain. i wanted to get this up before i go on vacation so...yolo. it's kind of a crappy chapter like most of them are these days

thanks for reading, subscribing, and especially for the comments. like, you guys have no idea how happy i get about them :))

thanks again for reading this weird story.