"Jongin?" Yixing questions, squinting at the boy at his front door. He rubs his eyes, letting out a yawn. "What are you doing here? It's so late."

     Jongin gives a sorry smile, taking a deep breath before speaking. "Yixing-"

     Yixing shakes his head. "You don't have to apologize, Jongin. It wasn't your fault for what happened."

     "But I should have been there. I should have answered my phone. I should have talked you out of it. I should have been a better friend. I should have-"

     "We all should have done something, but we didn't, and it's in the past. You found a new friend, and I don't hold anything against you. Sehun's a nice kid, you two clicked as fast as we did, if not faster," Yixing reassures, patting Jongin's shoulder. 

     "But I shouldn't have left you in the dust for him. That was a move and I'm a horrible friend."

     "Jongin, stop. What happened wasn't something that was just a sudden thought. It'd been building up for years," Yixing informs.

     "Why didn't you say anything earlier, then? We used to tell each other everything, and, and you always looked so happy, I don't-"

     "We've really changed, huh?" Yixing says, giving a smile. "I used to know everything about you, you used to know everything about me. Now look at us. We're so close, but it feels like we're so far apart."

      "I don't understand. If you thought about killing yourself before, why didn't you say anything to me or Soo? I always thought you were happiest person alive. Always smiling, always making people feel better about themselves, yet you were dying on the inside."

     "Sometimes people who feel the worst look the best because they don't want other people to feel as worthless as them."

     Jongin looks down, chuckling to himself. "Typical Zhang. Always putting people's needs before their own."

     "Do you want to go for a walk?" Yixing asks. Jongin looks up at him, raising an eyebrow. 

     "Now? It's nearly midnight."

     "Not my fault you came so late," Yixing defends.

     "I was....busy," Jongin mumbles, stuffing his hands in his pockets. Yixing scoffs.

     "Watering my mom's flowers?" he asks and Jongin rubs the back of his neck.

     "You saw me ride by your house a couple times?"

     "Started at eight and didn't make yourself known until quarter to midnight. Typical Kim," Yixing mocks, closing the door. He opens it back up a couple minutes later, this time dressed in more outside appropriate clothing, instead of his previous pororo sleeping pants.

     "So what's going to happen next?" Jongin asks. They found a spot on a curb a couple blocks away from Yixing's house. 

     "We leave tomorrow for China at around seven in the morning."

     "Then I shouldn't keep you up-"

     "I couldn't sleep even if I tried," Yixing says, picking at a scab on his arm. "Besides, I'd rather spend my last night with you instead of by myself."

     It's quiet and Jongin becomes aware of Yixing's breathing and the few cars on the main road. "You said something earlier," Jongin starts, breaking up the silence. 

     "I said a lot of things earlier," Yixing replies. 

     "I think you know what I mean." Yixing doesn't reply so Jongin continues. "You're not worthless, Yixing. You know that right?" Yixing shrugs and Jongin punches him lightly in the arm. "You're the farthest thing from worthless."

     "You don't have to give me this talk, Jongin. I've already heard it from half the town."

     "Well now you're going to hear it from me," Jongin jokes. Yixing smiles. "I wouldn't be the half the person I am now if I hadn't met you. You're one of the most brilliant dancers I know, one of the funniest people I know, and you have a bigger heart than Jesus, probably."

     "I wouldn't go that far-"

     "You once stopped a busy intersection, putting your life in danger, might I add, so that a group of ducks could cross the road."

     "To be fair, there were babies."

     Jongin shakes his head. "It doesn't matter. What matters is that if anyone here is worthless, it's me. And don't try to tell me otherwise because I've been a ty person this year and I don't want someone to try and cheer my up because I know what I've done. When you're back home in China, try not to forget about me or Soo, all right? You're gonna make loads of new friends and meet old friends, and it'll be overwhelming, but if anyone can do it, it's you."

     "You're an idiot," Yixing laughs. Jongin gives him a puzzled look and Yixing ruffles Jongin's hair. "I'll forget my own name before I forget about you and Kyungsoo."

     "Knowing you, that doesn't reassure me," Jongin jokes and Yixing rolls his eyes.

     "That was once."

     "Once is enough, in my opinion," Jongin says, standing up. He holds out a hand and Yixing takes it, standing up as well. "Let's head back before your parents find out your missing."

     "Promise me something, Jongin," Yixing says, dusting off his pants.

     "Anything," Jongin replies.

     "Don't rip yourself into pieces to try and keep others whole, okay?" Yixing asks, holding out his pinky to Jonign.

     Jongin looks down at it, giving Yixing a really? look. Yixing shakes his pinky for emphasis before Jongin rolls his eyes and closes his pinky around Yixing's. He's expecting for Yixing to pull away, but instead he's pulled into a hug.

     "You're going to go through a lot of in the next few weeks and it will either break you or make you. I know you'll make the right choices, Jongin, and if you don't and you end up a person living in a life you don't want, then I can only hope that you're strong enough to change it so that you can be happy. You deserve it above anyone," Yixing whispers into his ear. He pulls away and starts heading home, leaving Jongin to watch Yixing's retreating figure. It takes him a few moments before he starts walking and catches up with Yixing.

a/n: hellooo

so it's been a while and i kind of have a good answer to that. school started and i'm in a career tech program and a bunch of other tough classes that require time and effort and i've had the mood to write, but i just haven't gotten around to it. BUT I DID IT AND IT'S AN ANGSTY CHAPTER BUT YOLO.

thank you again to everyone reading this and giving me support. you guys are great :)