On the weekend, Jongin decides to turn down Kyungsoo's tempting offer of snuggling up on the couch and watching a movie to take Sehun out and about. He knows from the light always on in his room that he doesn't go anywhere but school and occasionally the store when his grandmother asks.

     At first, Sehun is hesitant. He says it's because he was to watch his grandma, but Jongin knows that is total bull because he watched her threaten a hoodlum with her cane just last week. The elder was more than capable of taking care of herself. Finally, Sehun accepts and they go and eat lunch at a small hole in the wall diner that Jongin likes coming here with Yixing.

     “I take it you have questions?” Sehun asks, poking at his food when it arrives. Jongin looks up from his meal and shakes his head.

     “You never get out, so I thought I'd treat you,” he replies, giving a small smile and continues eating. Sehun hardly eats his.

     Sehun speaks after many minutes of silence. “Jongin, just ask them. It's better than sitting around with an elephant in the room, and don't say you brought me here out of the goodness of your heart, because you and I both know that's bull .”

     Jongin wipes his mouth and leans back in his chair. “Look, Sehun, I know you've said you don't care, but I do. You never leave your house and when you do, it's so short, I sometimes wonder if you just went to the bathroom. I figured that we could go around and hang out instead of sitting in your room, not talking and smoking our lives away.”

     Sehun crosses his arms. “Just because you found out I'm dying doesn't mean you have to treat me any differently.”

     “Can we not talk about that?” Jongin asks quietly, avoiding eye contact.

     “Why? I'm the one who's dying.”

     “Sehun.”

     “Jongin, don't give me the pity that you think I need, because I don't need it. You're just wasting my time and yours.”

     Jongin waits awhile until he speaks again, letting the tension settle first. “Aren't you scared?” His voice is weak and he almost wants to laugh.

     “Scared of what? Dying?” Jongin nods. “No.”

     “But why? You're dying, aren't you at least a little scared?”

     “Being scared just means you have something worth coming back to.”

     “You do have something worth coming back to! You have me, your grandma, your parents, your boyfriend!” Jongin says louder than he means. Some people give him looks and he ducks away. “Don't pull that brave , Sehun. Everyone's scared of dying,” he says quieter.

     Something in Sehun's eyes change and he clenches his jaw. “I have nothing, Jongin. Not a dog, not a cat, nothing. I'd be giving my parents and grandmother a break if I died. I'm not like you, I'm not needed in this world.”

     “Stop,” Jongin hisses, the food on the table completely forgotten now. “Don't act like the hero who thinks that dying will set people free. I've read too many books and watched too many movies to know that no one deserves to die.”

     “I am no one!” Sehun shouts. The restaurant goes dead quiet and they all stare at their table. Sehun stands up, his chair emitting a loud screech as it scrapes across the ground. He walks out and Jongin fishes around in his pocket for the payment before running after him.

     “Sehun,” he shouts, trying to catch up to him. “Sehun, goddamn it! Slow down!”

     Sehun spins around, face blank as usual. “What?” His words are filled with ice and Jongin flinches.

     “What the hell is wrong with you? Why do you act like all of this is optional?”

     “Because it is.”

     “No it's not! You're here for a goddamn reason, Sehun, and it isn't to just wallow in your misery and watch as your life goes down the drain!”

     “Then what should I do?!” Sehun yells.

     “Help me, dammit! Help me help you!” Jongin yells back.

     “Stop trying to fix me! You can't, I know, they've tried!”

     “I'm not trying to fix you because you're not broken!” Sehun shuts up and the people around them have started looking at them. Jongin realizes the situation and grabs Sehun's arm, pulling him out from the middle of the walkway and over to a more secluded area. “You're not broken, Sehun. Maybe just a little bent and beaten, but you're not broken.”

     For the first time since they met, Jongin sees Sehun cry. It's a bit strange at first and Jongin can't tell if he's faking it or if his allergies are acting up. But when the tears start spilling down his face, Jongin isn't sure how to react.

     He pulls off his over shirt and hands it to the other, unable to find any thing else for him to catch the tears, and then walks them to a bench in the park where they sit for a while.

     When their conversation starts up again, the sun is going down and Sehun is staring off at a tree.

     “What did you mean 'they'?” Jongin asks, playing with his hands.

     “My parents,” he replies, his voice emotionless and tired. He coughs into his hand.

     “What did they do?”

     Sehun scoffs. “What didn't they do? They sent me to a shrink, thinking that would help, and when it didn't, they took me to another one who prescribed me drug after drug, and when none of that worked, they tried setting stricter rules, and when that still didn't work, they sent me here. Said it was supposed to help me, but everyone knows it's because they just gave up trying to be my parents.”

     Jongin nods. “Why though?”

     Sehun doesn't reply and Jongin isn't sure if he heard him. He's about to ask again but Sehun cuts his off.

     “You remember Zitao, right?” he asks, a light smile forming. Jongin nods again. “A lot of stuff happened to him in the past,” he frowns and swallows hard, eyes flickering to the ground, “and when I met him, he was pretty bad. He had these breakdowns a lot and had so many triggers that at first I swore I would never be friends with him. I actually hated him,” Sehun laughs, “but one day, I found him getting picked on at the school gates, and I tried to walk past, but something made me stop and I've never felt happier than knocking the out of those guys. I got suspended for a week, but that was nothing new.

     “We started talking after that and faster than I could see it coming, we were inseparable. Wherever I went was where he went and vice versa. We even did the same stuff for fun. Drugs, cigarettes, alcohol, , stuff like that. Thought it was fun. Thought it would help him, and it did a little. His breakdowns didn't happen as much and he was coping a lot better with his past and and I thought that he got better. We both did.

     “But he, uh, got—stuff happened to him one night and everything just got worse. He stopped going to school, stopped leaving his room, stopped leaving his bed, stuff like that. I stayed home with him whenever I could, but he was always just sleeping, never wanting to do anything. I thought that maybe this was just a stage that would pass. It had happened before. But, he...he never did get better.

     “It was on the news,” Sehun lets out a small laugh and he wipes his nose, “finally got to be famous like he had always wanted.”

     Jongin swallows hard and watches Sehun. “I'm so sorry,” he whispers.

     “Yeah. Yeah, me too.” He takes a deep breath in. “My parents didn't understand. They'd never been in that kind of situation. So when I shut down and spent my nights out late smoking and getting high, they tried everything they could to try and get back a son they never had. Thought that the more money the spent, the more they could help, not that money every mattered to them. It practically grew off trees in our house.”

     Jongin looks down at his shoes and suddenly feels like the problems he faced were so small compared to Sehun's world.