*this was written a long time ago... i never gotten back to it...cos i thoughts it boring OTL

**proof read only once.... few months ago... yikes!

***read at your own risk***

words: 37xx 

   
"It's been too long and i'm still waiting for you. Why can't you understand?" Siwon begged and it broke kyuhyun's heart yet he told himself he gotta stay strong. 
 
Kyuhyun pull himself away from the strong hold, his eyes refusing to meet Siwon's.  He know he couldn't look at him without crying.  The grip on his arms still linger, no matter how much he wants to ignore it.  He couldn't help the longing to be hold, to touch, to hug the goof in front of him and scream out how much he loves him.  But he couldn't. 
 
His promise is set.  There's too much involved.  Its too late.
 
"i can't... I promised... I can't"  So Kyuhyun turns, walking away from his love, hoping to get away before too late. 
 
"WHY?!" Siwon yell, chasing up to Kyuhyun before he could get away.  Locking his hand on the wrist, swinging him back facing him, yet the young still dodge him.  "If I can, why can't you? why Kyu?" Siwon held his cheeks with both hands, his eyes b with tears, but not with anger but love.  "I love you... only you.  You are the only one for me Kyu... and I know you still love me... Please..."
 
Kyuhyun kept quit, he didnt' know what to say, he didn't know how to convince Siwon.  How could he possibly start lying when both of them knew the truth already. 
 
"this isn't about love... Siwon-ah" Kyuhyun begin after the first tear fell from Siwon.  "Its the promise I made...Immfff"
 
Siwon smash his lips against Kyuhyun before the young could say anything else.  His kisses desperate and suffocating.  Nothing like how Kyuhyun remembers, but it still him, the yearning, the passionate its impossible not to crave for. His love, his Siwon. 
 
The hand on Kyuhyun securely held on, leaving no room for Kyuhyun to move besides his feet.  Backing away when Siwon manage to pull him even closer by the waist, closing any gap between their body. 
 
"si....mfff....si..." Kyuhyun struggle but even himself have to admit it wasn't of any effect.  Siwon is too strong in determination, just like always and in everything.  The lips cupping over his as if the life out of him, kissing away the sanity Kyuhyun's been so dearly holding.  Until Siwon pull away Kyuhyun really did thought he would melt into the strong chest and arms.  The two still panting when Kyuhyun felt like they're both floating in the air.    "Lets leave, just you and me.  I don't care about the inheritance, the money, the name... I just need you."  Siwon pleaded desperately, even himself have never heard this kind of voice, but when love threaten to leave you again, anything is possible.    Just when he though Kyuhyun would give in.  The shorter frown while pushes him roughly distancing himself from Siwon with a pain expression.    "Kyu?"   "I'm engaged.  I'm getting married this fall" Kyuhyun paused looking away.  He didn't want Siwon to see him, the misery, the hurt, it'll be too much.  "Changmin, i met him overseas.  My parents is already organising the wedding..." Kyuhyun exhaled.   Siwon's jaw tighten as he storm across the mere distance and pull Kyuhyun via the arm closer to him.    "ouch!! let go Siwon... it hurt!" Kyuhyun whine as he tries to free himself but the iron grip on him didn't budge.    "You can't possibly go through with that!"  Siwon angrily yell at a guilty Kyuhyun whom try to dodge his eyes...again "How long you gonna lie to everyone? Have you really forgotten about our..?"   "Yes!" Kyuhyun shouted, cutting Siwon mid-sentence, isn't it enough his lies are so easily look through, why must Siwon shame him so openly.    "Look at me and tell me.  Tell me you don't love me and you're actually happy with this Changmin! Tell ME!!!" Siwon howl still refusing to let Kyuhyun go.    Kyuhyun couldn't do neither, he couldn't look at Siwon nor lie to him.  They both knew the answer but one side is so awfully stubborn that it still refuse to man up.   "See, you can't!"  Siwon tears fell, shaking his head at his love.  Why must love hurt like this?  "Kyuhyun...you fool...  It should be us walking down the aisle together and ...." Siwon choke on his word and the rest didn't make out.  Why can't you have faith in us?. "...Kyu..?"  Siwon call out tenderly as his hand releasing the grip that's already made a red bruising mark.    Siwon didn't know what else to say or do to convince the young.  He waited for Kyuhyun, he promise his love, he even willing to give up everything, even risk of being disown by his family.  Yet this silly boy, his silly Kyuhyun.  His love,  choose his own family over him.    "I promised you i'll love you forever and i'll always will, Kyu.  I won't go back on my words.  You have my heart in your hands.  I'll wait for you, no matter how long, no matter what happens" Siwon watches as Kyuhyun lifted his head up to look at him.  Right then Siwon lean close, latching his lips over Kyuhyun's.  Tears running down as he kisses his Kyuhyun with all his affection and passion.  Its not rough like before, it felt like Siwon is pouring every ounce of his love into the kiss and hoping kyuhyun would return it. Their lips still brushes when Siwon declare once more "i love you now, tomorrow and forever"  Then Siwon turn around and walk away, leaving kyuhyun whom buckle down onto the ground once the heat from Siwon left him, his hand clasping over where his heart is. Hurt, aches, his heart breaking all over again.  No matter how long and how much Kyuhyun tries to convince himself, his heart will always knows the truth.      By the time Kyuhyun made it home it was late.  His normal, cosy house have turn into a celebration of bright blue and red.  His parents had every thing done for him, the invites, the cakes, the reception.  They are so happy, how could he turn around and destroy everything.  Especially how he promised his appa he have cut all ties with the Choi.    The elderly's were chit chatting about how great everything is going for Kyuhyun yet they fail to realise the boy have return and gone back to his room and locked it.    Kyuhyun vaguely hear his omma knocking but quickly another voice which he believes to be his aunt took over in asking his omma where the rest of the soju is.  He was glade he didn't need to deal with his omma for the night have been cruel to him.    Taking out the envelope under his mattress that he hid so carefully from everyone.  Kyuhyun went through everything in it, reminiscing the little moments him and Siwon once shared.  It use to be a whole box, but when his appa found out, the old man threw everything in the fireplace.  Kyuhyun only manage to save whatever let from the flame after the man storm off.  The half burnt movie docket he kept neatly folded, for its the time when Siwon first kissed him.  The creased receipt of a paired couple's sweater he got for Siwon on their one month anniversary.  But most treasure by Kyuhyun is the photo booth pictures of them, the first photo capturing the moments of both Kyuhyun's and Siwon's dimple smiles, then follows by Siwon's sneaky kisses, then their both loving kisses.     Kyuhyun smiles as tears dropped, thinking of the short but much happier times he once shared with Siwon.  "I'm sorry wonnie...You'll always be a part of me... my love" Kyuhyun choked as he kissed the picture and hugs it tight.  For this is the only times he could admit his own feelings.    ~~~   True to his words, Siwon never bother him again.  And even painful times passes.  The day Kyuhyun's family have been waiting for as he dreads has...arrives.      His wedding day.   Kyuhyun sat blankly in his room.  He wasn't sure if his paleness or tired face could fool anyone.  But according to the weeks of clear denial from his family, it shouldn't be hard.  Yet today it's his wedding day, how can he not act at least happy.    For too many nights now, Siwon's words have kept echoing in his mind.  How he imagine the life with his true love, how life will be on the run after hurting his own family, but in the end it'll always end up with how guilty he'll feel for Siwon to leave everything behind just for him.    "Kyu-ah?"  His omma's voice break his train of thoughts when she comes to check on him.    "Yes...?" Kyuhyun quickly reorganise his expression, a fake smile was all he could muster, which didn't fool his own omma.   The older lady's smiles dimmed the moment she notice the