Your condition starts to get worst, Headache constantly attacking you almost every day they need to give you high dosage of pain killers. You look different, you lost weight, skin became pale and yellowish, your eyes became dull and your hair starts to fall. You stare at yourself in front of bathroom mirror, with a sad smile in your lips. Everything came back to you, the first time you knew that you have illness, your struggles and pain from therapy. Thinking about those things makes you feel sick. It feels that your life is just a big cycle, A cycle of misery. Reaching for a brash, you tie your thin hair high ignoring the strands that falling from your head, you grab the bennie you from counter and you cover your head, smiling to yourself you went back to your bedroom. Today B.A.P have schedule for the whole but Gyuri (Who went to you after she found out where himchan took you) came earlier for launch, she brought some clothes, undies and some personal stuffs. You climb to your bed, you decide to take a nap since there’s nothing to do, tucking yourself under the thin blanket you lay flat but before you close your eyes you reach under your pillow and smile when your hands touch something, a picture of Yongguk. Your fingers ran on the surface of his face, tracing the outline as you smile. “How are you?” you whisper “I hope you’re doing fine, I heard that you have collaboration with Jieun again. I’m sure it will be great, because you always put your best in every song you make” unwanted tears escape on your eyes “I really miss you Yongguk, I hope you will forgive me in the future. I didn’t mean to hurt you”     This night without you, this lonely night, Come back to me, I’m waiting for you
I miss you tonight, I long for you tonight, I think of you, I’m crying like this.
    “Hyung