VII. Starting Forever

"I'm at the edge of my emotions
And I'm in love and I'm terrified
For the first time and the last time
In my only life"

~Terrified (Katharine McPhee)

PAST

She had this habit of jutting her bottom lip as if in a sulky pout then she would pucker them lightly when she was thinking. Along with these lip movements, her eyes would focus onto something at a distance until she would move her attention back to you. I had been watching her for awhile now but she was more interested with the view than my presence beside her.

We found bliss and stillness on the rickety wooden swing by the porch of the suite. The ocean in front of us was displaying its power as enormous waves crashed on the rocks by the southern edge while white bubbles ebbed on the sandy corners of the beach. The wind was blowing strongly and the sky was a clean sheet of white. It was as if time stood still for us yet nature was an unrelenting participant.

Craving for attention, I peered at her intensely but she was still unaware of it until I nudged her that she took notice of me and gave me a little smile. “Why did you suddenly take a city tour instead of meeting me?” I pried.

Seohyun looked at me longer than she should like she was weighing her thoughts before she spoke, “I’m not good with goodbyes. I’m also bad at watching people leave. I’d rather be the one to leave…” The gentle smile she gave me were like little needles pricking my heart and her shoulders drooped as she sighed, “You? Why did you decide to stay?”

“I am asking myself that too…” I diverted my attention to the sea. The calm afternoon was in contrast with the strong currents. If I could interpret my emotions, I would probably paint a picture of this scene ahead. “I don’t know, maybe I want to take this superman job seriously. I feel responsible for you.”

I grinned and, to my surprise, she leaned closer and dropped her head on my shoulder and playfully bumped on it before sitting straight again. I took that as her way of saying thanks to what I just said.

“Responsible for controlling my delirium? Or satisfying it?”

I half-laughed and groaned as I took her hand and fitted her fingers into mine, “And other than that. I don’t know, really… it is a given fact that I’m attracted to you.” It felt good saying that; it felt even better that her dark pupils seemed to dilate so I went on, “I want your kisses. I want to run my hands and my lips all over your body. I want you. But more importantly, I want to give you what you deserve—”

I was surprised when she jerked her hand back and her eyes widened. “Stop talking about what I deserve! You’re making me feel like I’m disrespect myself.”

Aren’t you? I wanted to ask her but I just sighed, “I didn’t mean it that way and I’m sorry… maybe you’re right. Maybe I should give you only those that you ask from me. When I decided to stay, I might have committed myself to be subjected to you.”

Her expression changed but I knew she would never tell me what she thinks; instead she shut her eyes for a moment then nodded. “I-I’m sorry for blowing up, Oppa. I don’t want to lay my claim on you, I don’t want you to think that you are only doing this because you have no choice.”

“Hell, Seohyun! I am not a saint!” I sneered, “I have a choice, I can walk away from this. From this craziness but I chose not to… I told you, I want you and you offered yourself willingly to me and I am claiming you. I will claim you,” I said and forcefully cupped her jaws on my hands and captured . I attacked her lips until she responded by letting my tongue in and we kissed in frenzy until we were both breathless.

I rested my forehead on hers and breathed so close to as if I was trying to compete with her own breathing. Then, she leaned closer again and brushed her lips into mine, “So now we both agreed on something. I want you and you want me.” She smiled then shifted away from my grip.

“That’s settled then,” I chuckled feeling tad calmer and watched her relaxed and even crossing her arms on her chest. But then again, she turned to me as realization struck to her.

“Ahh… rules!”

“Rules?”

“We have to set some rules.”

“What do you mean we have to set some rules?” I raised a brow especially since she was wearing her serious face when what she was saying was rather laughable in my opinion, “And why?”

“Because…” Seohyun sighed, yet again, “We have to promise we will be ‘us’ here… only here…”

I shook my head. I knew exactly what she was saying but I was still trying to wrap my thoughts around the idea. “What do you mean?”

“You know what I mean… it’s crazy… what we have right now is crazy.” She looked at me again as if pleading for me to understand or just agree, “I-It’s something we do out of whim… please… I… I can’t…”

“You mean we will consider this like a fling? A summer fling.”

My damsel nodded with a tiny guilty smile, “Yes, something like that… I like you… a lot but…”

“Okay…” I rolled my eyes but my body hunched inwardly. “Honestly, I don’t understand this but if that’s what you want…”

She dropped a hand on my back and soothed her hand over it, “I’m sorry… but… I just want to be… I realized I don’t want to be alone this time…”

“This time?” I frowned then snickered, “Damsel, you will be alone once you go back to the real world…”

“I won’t. I have my family and friends…” She held my gaze with her soft eyes and a sad smile, “But right now, I am alone… here…”

“You are not alone, you have me…” I s my hand behind her neck and massaged her nape gently. She lifted her gaze back at me, her forehead wrinkling and lips puckered to a little pout. Taken by resignation, I nodded listlessly, “If that is all you want from me…”

“I can’t… yet… I can’t,” Seohyun reached out to touch the tip of hair falling on my own forehead, “You understand what I mean, right?”

With my free hand, I lifted her chin and my other hand pushing her gently towards me, “Yes. I won’t let you be alone, damsel…” I brushed my lips on hers, “Even if it’s only for now. And, I bet on my life that this little fling of ours is something that you will carry in your heart for as long as you’re breathing…”

~~~

“Bed time…”

I heard her mellowed voice but I groaned out loud when I spun to see her wearing a soft pink babydoll lingerie. She stood by the doorway of the bathroom with that naughty smile pasted on her lips so I said nonchalantly, “You are seducing me.”

“Busted.” She rolled her eyes but rested her back by the doorframe, “I tried to be very subtle...”

I strode across the room catching her by the waist and filling my senses with her faint flowery scent as I nuzzled on her neck. I looked at her with a smirk, “Please don’t tell me you did a little research on the internet while I was not looking.”

She giggled and dropped her arms on my shoulders, her nose touching mine, “Are you a psychic or you just spied on me?”

“Tell me, damsel…” I pressed a kiss on her bottom lip, “Was it Seduction For The Dummies?”

“Hmmm…” her