I. Refrain

"But I know I'll have to come to terms when I'm awake,

Thinking about you is the icing on the cake.

Makes me realize the fact you're gone for good for goodness sake."

~End of May (Michael Buble) 

“Colpo di fulmine. The thunderbolt, as Italians call it. When love strikes someone like lightning, so powerful and intense it can’t be denied. It’s beautiful and messy, cracking a chest open and spilling their soul out for the world to see. It turns a person inside out, and there’s no going back from it. Once the thunderbolt hits, your life is irrevocably changed.” 
 

I read that once and, since then, it never left my mind for I know exactly how it feels…

It was a thunderbolt that hit me. A strike of lightning that made a mess of me. A thunderstorm that brewed then takes a permanent haven in my being.

This storm in my heart filling my anguish, feeding on my pain.

She is a wave— a raging surf pounding on every cliff on a tumultuous storm.

And yet, she’s a tender tide ebbing and flowing on a summer’s night.

If the ocean is my life, then she is my tide…

And if my life is a song, then she is my refrain.

My refrain.

A memory that remains and clouds my soul. The ghost that haunts me in my dreams.  She is a silhouette in the darkest nook of my being. Yet, she is the light that beacons me into that hope of having my song back.

She is my refrain.

My recurrence. My tide, ebbing and flowing…

778 days ago, I made a promise.

“Promise me… you will not try to look for me. Promise me that those days, those nights will belong to our memories. I want to meet you again, the same way you want to meet me again, and when that day comes—if that day comes, you shall know me. The person that remained in your memory will come back to you an