I followed him the next day, everywhere. This is the only chance I have to really get to know him, know where he hang outs at, what he does, everything about him. This is the only time that i get to know my husband of 6 years. As promised, he went to the hospital. I could feel my heart beating when I know he is going to visit me. He stood outside and watched me from the window. He stood there with his usual pokerface and looked at me with that pair of cold eyes which i dreaded seeing. It pierced right through me. It hurts.

He always looked at me that way. When he came home from work and walked into the room where i was. He would shoot me that stare when he walked in and our eyes meet. He made me feel like I owe him a debt, made me feel guilty. I always wonder why. He could have not agree to the engagement if he was so unhappy about it. His parents loved him, they would understand. But he didn't say anything and he's blaming me for it. It's not like i wanted to. It's true that i like him but the arrnaged marriage was all planned by our parents. He have no right to look at me like that. I should be the one looking at him like that.

He walked away after standing by the window for 5 minutes. He didn't even bother to come in to say something to me. We are so distant and i hated it. I hated the wall between us. I followed him to his office where he worked. I come by once in a while, on special occassion like his birthday, to show others that we are a loving couple. People in the business sector envy us. People in school envy us. People everywhere envy us. But i don't envy ourselves. It's so fake.  His business have always been his business.  I know he messes around with women. I know he has been cheating behind my back. But he have been kind enough to do things secretly so to save me from unnecessary trouble. Because if his cheating acts got known to the public, there will be a lot of trouble and he has to put up another act with me.

"Mr Kim?" his secretary walked into his office.

"yes?" he said.

"its your wife birthday two weeks later...erm..do you still want your usual order of flowers?" she asked. My birthday...I would be dying after that. No point celebrating. And he never is sincere in celebrating my birthday but i'm still grateful for him because he is the only person to spend my birthday with. I have no one else except him. Even though everything is just an act.

"erm...no need..." he answered. I knew it. He can't be bothered now that i'm lying on the hospital bed. He is free of one less trouble. "wait...erm...keep with that order..." he said when the secretary is about to leave.

"yes sir.." she said. Why does he want to keep with that order? maybe he wants to pay his respects to me after i die. maybe he wants to fufil the last thing he can do for me as my husband. I know he's a good person. He takes responsibility. I thank him for that.

I followed him to Suho's oppa house that night. There was a party going on. Suho was EXO's leader and he was a very nice person. In fact, he was the closest to me in EXO, together with Sehun, although we aren't really close.

"why are you here?" Sehun asked.

"why can't i be here?" he retorted.

"forget it Sehun..let him be..." Suho said. "want some drink?"

"yes..thanks hyung...." he answered. There's a question in my head. Why is Sehun so angry at him? What happen between them? There's hatred in his eyes but there's love too. Something must be going on. But it can't be about me. But I still worry for them. Sehun was Kai's or Jongin's best friend. Kai was his nickname. He wants me to call him by that. He doesn't allow me to call him by Jongin. But since he can't hear me now, I want to call him Jongin for the last time. I like the name but i wonder why he doesn't like people to call him by that.

After maybe an hour, he was drunk. But the thing is he didn't touch any girls that night. And he was calling out my name.

"Michelle...Michelle..." he said in his drunken state. But he doesn't seem to be calling for me. Because he don't call me by the name of Michelle. Who was Michelle? Was it some girl at the party?

"you're drunk..." Kris said to him. "Tao, take him to the room..."

"not again...haiz.." Tao said and carried him to the room. again? does this happen a lot? guess i really don't know him.. I need to make use of this one month to know him and understand him just like he knows everything about me.

"Poor him..He must be so sad that his wife is in that state..." one of the guests said.

"they were such a loving couple...why did it even happen...he must be going through a lot.." another said. Well, they don't know anything. He definitely won't get drunk because of me. I'm nothing to him. He would be happy that I'm in that state and he's drunk because of that.

"don't let him hear that..." Baekhyun said to the guests. he's right..don't let him hear that. Because he hated hearing us being paired up together. He would hate me more.