I couldn't sleep at night. My mind was filled with her. I sat up and stared at the bed. She wasn't there. One month is going to pass just like that.

Just 3 more days left... My heart is aching like it's been hammered for million times... But i know she's even more hurt than me... I have to stay strong for her. I need to. I don't want her to be worried about me. I tried to eat, but i don't have much appetite. I haven't been going to work lately. My employees understand. They have been sending their regards too. They all love her. Everyone loves her. She's so lovely. It was just me who refuses to face up to the fact. It was just me who deserves to regret now.

It’s another sleepless night
I sit in my dark room with opened eyes
Drawing out your face

Your shy smile and gentle eyes
I want to hug you, what do I do?
Don’t cry in places without me, good-bye
Because you can’t lend my shoulders anymore

No, it’s my turn to cry, I’ll cry now
I’ll take all of your tears
It’s my turn to cry, give them to me
Even those tears, this time
Even your tears, this time yeah

It was one of her favourite songs. I switched on her iPod to listen to her songs. It was all about love. In every diary entry of hers, she likes to write the song that best describes her feelings. Now, this song describes mine. It always has. It should be my turn to cry instead of hers.

I went to her ward to see her again. I will not see her again so i have to keep looking at her. I wasted 6 years. I should have cherish it. I played the song. And I danced. For her. She wrote she likes my dancing.

Mr diary! OMG! I saw him dancing today!! Secretly...I walked past the studio after my class and i heard music in there..so i peeked through the window...I can't believe it was him! I didn't know he danced! and he was so good! But i know he will never dance for me...but it was still nice to peep at him when he dance....

"Mi...Did you see it? Do you like it?" I said, trying to smile but my tears just fell. I didn't want to look sad in front of her. But i just can't control anymore. It hurts so much...so badly...

I felt her again. It was like she was hugging me.

"Mi..are you here? can you hear me? Mi..I know you're here with me...I'm so sorry...I'm really sorry...I should have cherish you..I shouldn't have treated you like this... I love you Mi...I really love you..." I told her. I know she can hear me. It was a strong feeling. I want her to know how i feel. At least, she can leave with no regrets. "Mi...don't worry..I will be here with you till the end..."

I saw a teardrop from her eyes. She heard it. She really did. Thanks Miyeon. Thanks my wife. Thanks for enduring 6 whole years and still loving me. "Saranghae..." I leaned in to kiss her lips. This was the first time I sincerely kissed her. This could be the last time.

"Kai-ya..." Chanyeol hyung called out. "are you ok?"

"yes i'm fine..i'll go wash up...talk to her hyung..." i said. I wiped off my tears while i stood up. I cried too much. She won't like it. I will remain as the hero in her eyes who saved her from bullies and not a crying baby. Don't worry Mi, i will stay strong for you.

Miyeon's POV:

It hurts me to see him not sleeping at night. And he's not eating much as well. Does he not know that it will worry me? Jongin, you have to take care of yourself.

He's playing My Turn To Cry. It was one of my favourite songs. He knows it. But i don't want him to cry.

He came to my ward. And he danced. He danced for me. I was kind of angry that he read through my diary now. I didn't want him to know. But i was happy to see him dancing. It has been long since he danced. And he's dancing for me now. He looks so charming when he dance. It will be something that i will miss. Thanks for showing me Jongin.

"Mi..Did you see it? Do you like it?" he asked. Of course i like it. I like it a lot. He was crying again. So i hugged him again. I don't want to see him cry. It makes it harder to leave him.

"Mi..are you here? can you hear me? Mi..I know you're here with me..I'm so sorry...I'm really sorry..I should have cherish you..I shouldn't have treated you like this...I love you Mi...I really love you..." he said. "Mi...don't worry...I will be here with you till the end.."

I heard it. I heard every word you said. I know you love me. I love you too. Don't be sorry. I'm sorry for leaving you. I'm sorry that we can't be together. I cried too. I cried with him. It was heartbreaking for both of us. Too painful...

"Saranghae..." he said and he kissed me. I felt him on my lips. It was good and sweet. It was our first real kiss. Jongin, thanks a lot.