"How many days left?" Suho asked.

"One week...just one week..." Kai answered.

"then what are you still doing here? you should be by her side..." D.O said.

"yea...you wanted to make up for it..why are you still here.." Lay said.

"I don't know..I wanted to make up for not being there when Michelle left but then she's not that Michelle... it's unfair to her..." Kai said.

"Well then, make up for the time you didn't spend with her, the times you ignored her..." Luhan said.

"I don't know how to face her...All that i have done was to hurt her..She shouldn't even marry me in the first place..it's allmy parents' fault.." Kai said.

"you shouldn't blame your parents...they know she is a good match for you but you are the one who didn't cherish it.. now she's leaving and you are still here trying to push the blame..." Suho said.

"Kai, do you want to regret a second time?" Chanyeol asked.

"of course not...but what can i do? She's not waking up, she won't know that i'm there..and i can't face her..I'm the cause of her state right now.." Kai said, in tears.

"How is it your fault? It was just a car accident..." Chen said.

"no..it was all my fault...I'm sorry, hyung...I didn't tell you guys...because i hated myself.." Kai said.

"What happened exactly?" Sehun asked.

"I...." Kai spoke.

Kai's POV:

I remember that night. I came home drunk after having a video call with my parents. They said they want a grandson since we've been married for almost six years. I felt so stressed. I wanted to have a child with her, but i don't dare too. All because of Michelle. I felt that I would let her down if i have a child with another woman. Although Mi is not other woman. She's my wife. But I just couldn't pass my psychological barrier. I went to the bar to drink, glass after glass, bottles after bottles. Then i got home. She just came out of the shower and she looked at me, scared. The same eyes that was constantly in fear when they saw me. I charged towards her and slammed her on bed. I her.

I remember her crying on bed, shaking with fear. I'm not a man. I've done such a horrible thing to the woman i loved. But still, i refused to face up to my mistake. I got dressed and went out of the room as if nothing happened. I still remember that pair of eyes which was staring at me fearfully yet full of hatred. It scared me for the first time. For nights, I didn't come home because i don't dare to face her. I hated myself for doing that to her.

Weeks later, she came home on a Saturday afternoon while me and my parents were sitting in the living room, chatting. I didn't tell them about what i did. I feel ashamed of myself. She walked in the door, humming to a melody and I saw her smile, her real, sincere smile.

"What is it that make my daughter-in-law so happy?" My mum said.

"oh..err...it's just...I'm..pregnant..." she said. Pregnant? because of what i've done? That made me more afraid of her. Afraid of myself that i might hurt her again. My parents were happy at the news but i was confused. I don't know how to deal with it.

"I'm so proud of you son..." my dad said. proud? I'm not proud of myself. I didn't want a child that was conceived that way. It shouldn't be this way.

She was at the room when i walked in. The door wasn't closed properly so i stood outside for a while, looking at her. She was smiling so brightly to herself while her womb. Tears rolled down my cheeks. I feel even sorry at that moment. She was eager to welome the child even when i done that horrible thing to her. I was urging to run over there to hug her but i can't.

Then came the tradegy. All because of me. If i didn't make her pregnant, she wouldn't have gone out that day to shop for baby clothings and other stuffs. If she didn't go out that day, she wouldn't have met with the accident. I don't blame the driver. I blamed myself. Now I not only lost my child, I'm about to lose her.

I told EXO everything about it. They were mad at me. I understand. In fact I want them to hate me, instead of standing by me, supporting a guy like me. I don't deserve to be their friend. I don't deserve to be her husband. I don't deserve to be the man she love.

Dear diary, I went to the doctor and found out that i'm pregnant. There was mixed feelings at first. I remembered what he did to me but then i felt a life in me. It made me want to give me all for it. I wanted to protect it. I don't care whether his father wants to acknowledge it but i will love him....he's my child...He's my everything now...And i thank Jongin, for giving me this wonderful gift...

That made me more hurt. How can she be so kind and optimistic? Now all i want is for her to come back to me again....