Dear diary,

I know it is wrong to have feelings for someone who is already in a relationship. If my feelings were exposed, I would be in deep trouble. It could jeopardize not only my fame but also someone else’s blossoming relationship.

But you know what? I don’t care. You know how I have always tried to ignore my feelings for her, chanting mantras like, “She can never be yours,” “It’s wrong,” or, “Let’s not go there.” In my head but it’s not working anymore.

Ok let’s be honest. I have been helplessly in love with a younger girl by the name of Im Yoona ever since I first met her. Well, not really ever since I first met her but whose counting right?

Diary, where can I find the courage to confess to her, again? I know it’s wrong if we were to be in a relationship like TaengSic. Reason being, well she’s a girl (lesbianism is totally a no-no in the culture we’re in) and for goodness sake, we’re in Girls’ Generation (but hey! I’m probably the biggest YoonYul trooper in this fandom).

Oh and did I mention that Yoona is in a relationship now? Yeah, with that Seunggi guy. They have been dating for a few months now and well, SM had already confirmed their relationship earlier today. I guess there’s really no more chances for Kwon Yuri. Heol. Why did she reject me the first time I confessed to her? ):

Another sleepless night.

*

“Yuri-ah, are you gonna eat that or not? I’m hungry.” Yuri turned to her side and saw the resident shikshin, Choi Sooyoung, eyeing her bowl of cereal. Yuri then looked at her bowl of cereal. She had only had a few spoonful but she wasn’t hungry anymore.

“Here, you can have it.” Yuri pushed her bowl of cereal to the shikshin and she sighed. She hadn’t slept well yesterday.

“Hey, why do you look like you didn’t get any sleep last night?” Sooyoung asked with her cheeks stuffed with cereal.

“Well, that’s because she didn’t get any sleep last night.” Jessica came in to the kitchen. A shocking sight that even the shikshin dropped her spoon.

“Woah! Someone pinch or slap me please. The sleeping beauty is up and awake at 7 am!! THE WORLD IS ENDING!!” Sooyoung started yelling after swallowing her cereal.

“Shut the up Choi Sooyoung!” Jessica yelled back in English, only to realize that she had just cussed in front of two members. Well thank God that they’re both Koreans and didn’t understand a single thing she just yelled except the Choi Sooyoung part.

“What’s up with all the ruckus damn it. It’s only 7 you idiots!” Midget Tae decides to make an entrance. “Jagiya, what’s wrong? Why were you yelling?” Taeyeon stared at Jessica with droopy eyes.

“Nothing Tae. Sooyoung here is just being mean.” Jessica pouted while pointing to Sooyoung.

“Yah Choi Sooyoung! Why are you bullying my girlfriend?”

“Tae, she’s awake at 7 am!! The world is ending!!” Sooyoung grabbed the petite lady’s shoulders and shaking her.

Yuri, not wanting to be in this mess, decides to make a quick getaway.

*

Dear diary,

As expected, I didn’t get any sleep last night. I kept tossing and turning. Diary, do you know how difficult it is to sleep when you know that your roommate, the one that you have helplessly fallen in love with, is no longer staying in the dorm with you?

Yoona is hardly at home. ): She’s always out for schedules and then she goes on her date with that jerk guy. Diary, my heart hurts. ): I thought that with the new year, I could actually woman up and confess to her (again) but heol. No chance.

I thought it wasn’t a serious relationship you know? Like maybe she’s just dating that jerk guy for a few weeks like those other bastards guys she used to date.

Diary, what do I have to do? Should I move on?

*

(A few days later)

“Tae, I think Yuri isn’t coping well with Yoona being in a relationship.” Jessica who was sitting in between her girlfriend’s legs spoke up. The two were the only ones in the group who knew about Yuri’s feelings and that she had confessed before to Yoona but was painfully rejected.

“What makes you think so?” Taeyeon was running her hands through Jessica’s soft hair.

“She’s always in her room and yesterday night, I heard her sleep talk. Something about Yoona and a certain jerk. She has been avoiding Yoona too. Yoona was asking me about her whereabouts two days ago because she couldn’t reach Yuri and apparently, when she came home, Yuri was not in the room.” Jessica by now had already sat up and faced Taeyeon.

“Hmm. Well, I guess I would be acting the same way as Yuri if you were to be in a relationship with someone else.” Taeyeon then placed a quick peck on her girlfriend’s nose, “I’ll talk to Yoona tomorrow. You talk Yuri.”

“No no no. I’ll talk to Yoona. You talk to Yuri.”

“Deal.”

Jessica, being Jessica, sealed the deal with a kiss on her girlfriend’s lips.