4th Month.

"So how's college life?" Woohyun asked his sister who was busy making plan for soccer club practice. 

"Fine… I guess,"

"Do you get many new friends?" he took a peek to the practice plan where the photos of the club members attached. 

"Eum," she nodded. From all of her brothers, the second eldest Woohyun was the only one she could trust about all of her problems. "They are in this soccer club actually," she pointed the photos, "Oh Sehun, Byun Baekhyun, Kim Jongdae, and Park Chanyeol,"

"They seems nice,"

"They are,"

***

8th Month. 

"What does it mean when a boy said that he likes you?" Namjoo wondered as switching the TV channels. Sunggyu shifted his gaze from the laptop display, blinked his eyes several times. Hoya put down the book he read and reacted to his sister sentence, not to forget Woohyun who left his ramyeon in the kitchen table and jumped over to her side. 

Namjoo looked flustered being the center of attention, "What?" 

"Who is he?"

"Is he a nice guy?" 

"I bet he is dumb!"

Namjoo pinched Hoya on the cheek for his last question while Woohyun asked her once more, "Who is he? Someone I know?"

"No," she stated quickly. "Just someone," 

"It means that he liked you, what else?" Sunggyu shrugged his shoulder. "He didn't say that he hate you, did he?" I really can't believe this hamster Oppa. Namjoo sighed. 

"I really like him in person, so I don't want to give a wrong answer," Namjoo decided to tell them without revealing Jongdae's identity. 

"Your close friend, right? Ah, Finally there is a boy who likes our sister," Hoya wiped his imaginary tears, scoring another pinch from Namjoo. "Actually there is things you can check if he's really serious or just kidding around," 

"We are the one who will tear him apart, if he just played with you," Sunggyu closed his laptop hard, decided to fully join the conversation. 

"How was he when he confessed?" Woohyun asked. Now Namjoo was like being judge, Sunggyu, Woohyun and Hoya sat around her, stared her with full attention. Hoya even turned down the TV volume. 

"Mmm… normal. I think," she tried to recall the conversation. 

"Did he made cheesy and greasy event?" Hoya would give him disapproval once the maknae nodded. 

"What's wrong with cheesy and greasy event?" Woohyun felt offended with the question. 

"No! No! No!" Namjoo felt her cheek warm, why it sounded like she defended him? "I mean, no. It was just normal case and we were alone in soccer club after cleaning the whole room," 

"Weird place and time to confess," Sunggyu squinted his small eyes. "Are you sure it's not a delusion?" 

Namjoo sent a death glare to the first born when Woohyun asked her, "You said that you are close. Is he one of the four boys you told me?" Namjoo nodded slowly. 

"Who are the four boys?"

"Why I didn't know about them?"

"It's not like they are so important," Namjoo rolled her eyes. 

"Why Woohyun Hyung knows about him?" Hoya flicked her forehead lightly. "Whatever, but how does he act around you?" Namjoo blinked her eyes, didn't understand. "Is he gentle? Does he treat you like one of his bro?"

Namjoo tilted her head, not so sure. Comparing with Baekhyun who didn't even see her as girl, Jongdae was definitely better. And he didn't do skinship as much as Sehun. When she thought about it, he was quiet gentle and more refined when she was around, not like Chanyeol who cursed much in front of her. "He is more gentle when I am around… I guess? He doesn't curse much in front of me,"

"Is he a playboy or has he a lot of girl around him?" Woohyun wondered. As long as she knew, she was the only girl friend he had and looked from how he treated Bang Minah, he wasn't a playboy. Moreover, Forever Single was his middle name. She shook his head for this question. 

"Does he do a lot of skinship?" Hoya asked, his eyes had already glared fire. "Because he'd dead when he did so," Namjoo immediately shook her head, decided to shut about Sehun, even though he did it only because he felt comfortable. 

"Does he comfort you when you are upset?" Now was Sunggyu's turn to ask. Namjoo nodded, remembering every time she was tired about the assignment, Jongdae always tried to cheer her up. "He definitely likes you," Sunggyu nodded. 

Hoya raised his eyebrows, "What? It doesn't always mean like that,"

"Gyu Hyung was maybe right," Woohyun nodded his head, "No guys would comfort random girl," Woohyun wrapped her shoulder with his arms, "Let's face it, Hoya, our baby girl grown up already,"

Namjoo sighed, had she ever said that boys are easy to read and simple? Then she had to take back what she said. 

***

12th Month. 

"Hello, sister!" Hoya barged in to his sister's room, seeing Namjoo was busy with her assignment. "What are you doing?"

"Assignment," she didn't spare a look, still high concentrated. "I'm so busy with the birthday preparation and also classes, so I'm literally dying right now,"

"Don't work too hard," Hoya sat on the bed, took one of the dog plush and hug him, "How is the boy?"

"Which boy?"

"The boy who has crushed on you," Hoya smiled. Maybe he didn't look care for his younger sister, but actually he does, as much as the two siblings. He even pursued black belt in Taekwondo so that he could protect his little sister in any case. What's bad on him, that he couldn't express his love well, so people always mistaken him as ignorance brother. 

Namjoo sighed, leaving the assignment alone, "I don't know, he's weird,"

Hoya laughed, "I know, he is weird enough to like a girl like you," Namjoo hit her brother with cushion. "But the question is, Kim Namjoo, do you like him?" Namjoo paused a second before open , but Hoya already cut her, "You like him. You are hesitating, you are definitely like him," 

"I don't know! I don't even know what I feel, so how you?" she complained. "Yes, I like him as friend, I can even say that I like him more than I like Chanyeol, Sehun, or Baekhyun. But I'm not sure…"

"Wait… who are the other boys?" 

"They are my friends," she took out the practice plan that last time she showed Woohyun, and pointing out the boys, "And… this is… Kim Jongdae,"

"He is Kim Jongdae?" Hoya nodded, "He… seems nice and manly," 

"He is," she sighed again. 

Hoya her hair, "You know what, love is like that… you don't have to be sure," he smiled. Namjoo didn't say anything, she was taken aback hearing love quotes coming from Hoya's mouth. "Sometimes, we realized that something's precious when it's gone," the shadow of Bang Minah appeared before her eyes. "It's better when you settle your heart right now, before it's too late,"

"Are you really my brother Hoya?" she poked his arms. "Are you sick?"

"Geez, this bad girl," he flicked her forehead. "I'll go fitness now. Don't work too hard and don't over think, Namjoo-ya. It's just happened," 

He was opening the door when Namjoo called his name, "Oppa. Thank you," she smiled, "You know why I maybe attract to him? At first I befriend him because he is game freak like Sunggyu Oppa. We became close because he trolls a lot like you, and my heart fluttered every time he acted all greasy and cheesy like Woohyun Oppa. But you know what maybe attracted me the most?" Hoya shook his head, "Because he cares and protects me like three of you," 

Hoya smiled, "In that case, I don't wonder why you like him," he took a last glance to his sister, "He seems nice,"

***

68th Birthday of Seoul National University. 

After checking the last booth, Namjoo saw Sehun and Jongdae walked toward her, "Sehun-ah! Jongdae-ya!" 

"You poor girl," Sehun patted her head. Namjoo grinned, trying to ignore the fact that Jongdae's glare could light up fire in Sehun's back head. "Here is bubble tea for you," 

"Thank you, Sehun-ah," 

At that time Jongin came and dragged Sehun's away, "Yah! This is your turn to guard our booth!" he said. "Jongdae Hyung! Your turn is in an hour! Don't be late!" he turned his head to Namjoo, "Don't work too hard, Manager. I'll burn study council room if I heard something like you're leaving soccer club for study council!" 

As fast as he came, he went away with Sehun. "He spoke too fast, right?" Namjoo asked Jongdae after both of them left. 

Jongdae looked the girl with pity eyes, "You didn't sleep well yesterday, did you?" 

Namjoo sighed, "I just slept for two hours and I woke up in sudden," she yawned. "I had a bad dream that the event isn't doing well," 

Jongdae patted her head softly, "You've worked hard, Namjoo-ya," Namjoo felt her cheek got warm, why was it different when Sehun patted my head? 

"Namjoo-ya!" Yoon Bomi from Art Department came over, "Standing Egg is really coming today? Aaaaw! I'm fans from Clover!"

"You've said it hundred times, Bomi-yaaa!" Namjoo pinched her cheek. 

"Can you sneak me in to their waiting room?" Bomi clung to her arm. 

"No!"

"Please, like pretty pretty pretty please?" Bomi blinked her eyes with aegyo, even Jongdae laughed seeing that. Bomi pouted as Namjoo didn't change her decision. "Geez. But you can at least give me an autograph?"

"I can do that if you want," Namjoo grinned. She was the maknae of the team, how could she sneak someone in to the backstage? Bomi handed her a polaroid camera and started to pose, "What is it?" 

"Take picture of me, please. And you can tell Clover Oppa to sign it with 'Hwaiting, Yoon Bomi' or something like that," 

After took a photo of her and she told her what she'd do, Bomi turned her head to Jongdae, "You are Kim Jongdae from soccer club? Ah, I have heard your name from Namjoo,"

"When I ever…?" Namjoo looked flustered. 

"Ah, yes," Jongdae bowed slightly, "She is indeed my biggest fan," 

"Don't kid around, Kim Jongdae," Namjoo hit him on arms. 

"I will take photo of you both," Bomi said, prepared her polaroid camera. Hearing that, suddenly Namjoo wanted to kiss her on the cheek. She glanced to Jongdae who also looked happy with the offer, "Hurry, pose! 1, 2, 3!" Bomi handed them the photo and disappeared in the next second, said that she had to continue looking around. 

"Does it come good?" Jongdae peeked behind Namjoo's back while she fanned the photos, so it came out nicely. 

They said in sync, "This is mine!" 

Namjoo blushed in a second, "Sorry, but Bomi gave it to me," 

"But you don't need it anyway," Jongdae stated, tried to snatch the photo but Namjoo put it on her map. 

"Now, Kim Jongdae, I have to go re-check the stage," she turned her back, fanning her self. Hoping that she wasn't too obvious. 

"Can you sing me a song?"

"What?"

"Please?" Namjoo didn't know why she let out a nasal aegyo from her nose. Good, now she started to act cute in front of her friend. 

Jongdae cleared his throat once more, "But you have to sleep before the chorus okay,"

"Promise,"

for meeting you and being able to touch your hair

for meeting you and being able to breath, looking at each other

for being hugged and being able to let the tears flow when it's tough

I'm so fortunate...

for the beautiful world that knows you and placing you here

Namjoo never thought that Jongdae could sing this beautiful. Last time as they were sitting beside each other in the class, Minah told her that she once heard Jongdae sang beautifully. She said that never in her life she believed in love at first sight, but now she did. At that time, Namjoo only scoffed at her, wondering how stupid this girl could be. But now she was drowned in his voice. 

She also never thought that Jongdae could be this sweet. Remembering what Sunggyu said last time made her smiled, No guys would comfort random girl. Namjoo tightened her hug to Jongdae's arm, she maybe couldn't be sure about her feelings yet, but she knew it was there. This was her first since stupid crush in high school, so she wanted to cherish every moment, waiting until her feeling really settled and she could answer Jongdae with a 'yes'. 

However that night, their feeling didn't really meet. Jongdae was going about to give up after a year of one-sided love, while her feeling was still on the beginning, ready to bloom.

Jongdae felt a push on his chest and it brought him to the ground in a second, "Namjoo-ya… I'm…" 

Taken aback with his kiss, she shifted to the side, made a space between them, "Jongdae…"

Both of them couldn't really speak, tried to read each other's mind until Namjoo broke her gaze and run away from the rooftop. 

"Namjoo-ya!" Jongdae froze on his spot. He didn't chase her. 

"Namjoo!" Siwan's face beamed with happiness as he met her on his way to the backstage. "Thank you for your work hard, the event was success,"

She held her tears back, didn't want to break in front of her Sunbaenim. "You too, Sunbae. You've worked hard," she bowed slightly. 

"Are you feeling sick?" he asked, looking her with worry eyes. Namjoo shook her head, knowing if she opened she would cry uncontrollably. But a tear escaped her eyes, "Hey, what happened?" Siwan tilted his head, held her shoulder softly. 

Namjoo tried to wipe her cheek, but it strangely made the tears fell continuously. She covered her face with her palm, didn't want to reveal her crying face to Siwan. She could feel a warm hand her hair, "Sssh, It's okay," 

Siwan knew she's not the prettiest, but all he wanted to do now was just protect her and give her warmth. He gave her a hug, let her making his jacket wet with her tears. He her back when she let her feelings out, "It's okay, Namjoo-ya,"

Behind them the fireworks illuminated the skies, the exploding sound muffled her crying. 

***

"Where is Namjoo?" Baekhyun played with his pencil. 

Jongdae kept silent, hid behind his thick book. 

***

"What's wrong with her, really?" Chanyeol whined after hanging up his phone call with Namjoo. She told him that she couldn't go to Jongdae's house. 

"Don't you think she'd really accept study council's offer?" Sehun wondered. 

Baekhyun tilted his head, "I don't think so… She said last time she had already rejected, right?"

Jongdae, once more, kept silent. 

***

"You have to speak with her, Jongdae-ya!" Chunji lost his temper after trying to convince his friend for thousandth times. "It's been a week,"

Jongdae put his head on the table, "Stop telling me what to do, Lee Chunji," he knew what to do, but… he just couldn't do it. 

"You kissed her! On the lips!" Chunji ruffled his hair in frustration. "And you didn't even call her! And you told me you are a man?" 

"Chunji-ya," he glanced his friend with his drunk eyes, "I'm going crazy," 

***

Bang Minah's eyes was nearly popped out that afternoon, when she saw Jongdae came into her class. She nearly sprang over to approach him when Yerim held her hand and hissed, "Stop embarrassing your self, Minah, he's looking for Kim Namjoo," She pouted, obeying her friend even though she really didn't mind for being embarrassed. She followed every movement he made from her seat. 

Jongdae came in after made sure he was in the right class. He could see Namjoo was in the conversation with her classmates, didn't realize that he was there. He had never been in her class before and he could see that she was quiet popular between the boys, seeing how four boys was surrounding her right now, laughed at her jokes. If he couldn't hold himself, he had already dragged her out by now. 

"Namjoo-ya," Jongdae called her. Not just her, but it felt like half of the class was staring at him right now. "Can we talk outside?" 

Namjoo stared at him for at least three seconds, before nodded and followed him outside. They stopped on the hallway, no one was really paying attention to them. "Namjoo-ya," Jongdae inhaled and exhaled nervously, "I'm sorry," 

Namjoo waited for him to explain his self. That night she was taken aback with his move. She didn't like being treated like that, despite how much she liked the boy. Truthfully she didn't know how to act around Jongdae after the incident, so she thought it might be better to avoid him for awhile. Her mixed feeling drove her crazy these days. 

"I don't have excuse, Kim Namjoo. I shouldn't have done that," Jongdae tried to catch her gaze, but she avoided at any cost. "I'm sorry," 

She waited for more seconds before she opened , "Are you finished?" 

***

"You don't want to forgive him?" Yoobi her hair softly. It's been awhile since she knew Namjoo, it was the first time she was pouring her feeling out in front of her. It was after the whole promise thingy; not to tell Sunggyu about it, despite her relationship with him. Because surely he would chase Jongdae and kill him if he knew about the incident. 

"Not that I don't want to forgive him, Eonnie," she buried her face in the pillow. "I just don't know what to do," 

"You like him," Yoobi stated. 

"More than I like him, he is my friend," she looked at the older. Couldn't she have a normal love story like her and Sunggyu Oppa? Why the babo Jongdae had to ruin all? If he waited a little bit more… maybe… "It worries me a lot if I couldn't be friend with him anymore. But every time I think about the… kiss… I told my self he really shouldn't do that! Friends don't kiss!"

"He definitely sees you more than friend, right?" Yoobi gave her a subtle smile. "But why don't you give him a chance? Why don't you give yourself a chance?"

"Yoobi-ya," Sunggyu peeked out behind the door, "What are you both talking about?" 

"Nope," the two girls denied in sync. Sunggyu raised his eyebrows, it's definitely something. 

***

"Seoul Soccer Championship is getting near," Xiumin opened the meeting. All of the team member sat on the bench while he and Luhan stand in front of them, ready to explain the strategy. "Next Sunday is the strategy training program. I hope all of you will be there,"

"All of you must be there," Luhan corrected him, sending a death glare to The Troublemakers in the corner. 

Xiumin chuckled, "Thank you for four of you who cleaned our club diligently," 

Jongdae scoffed, "They didn't do it! I'm doing it… a… lone," he caught Namjoo's glance over the room, adding to his sentence, "Namjoo helped me," 

Luhan ignored him, "Namjoo, can you give me the strategy board?" he got no response after awhile, "Namjoo? Kim Namjoo?"

Chorong elbowed her lightly, "Ah, yes! Strategy Board," As she took it from her locker, Chorong whispered, "Are you okay? You look lost,"

She nodded and gave the older a weak smile, "I'm okay, Eonnie,"

***

"Don't you think we can bail out from Sunday Training?" Sehun whispered. "We can go watch movies like the last time, maybe Namjoo also wants to come,"

"No," even himself was taken aback of his direct answer, Jongdae cleared his throat, "I mean, this strategy training… is important, you know," 

Sehun looked at him without expression, thought for awhile before nodded, "If you say so," 

***

Namjoo sat on her desk, trying to concentrate in her economy book. She flipped the pages without interest, it was no use sitting here for two hours but she couldn't even remember one line of her text book. Studying is hard enough; but try studying with your head filled with problems from other areas. 

Giving up on her assignment, she opened a small box she took from the drawer. It was her treasure she collected from she was in the middle school. Letters, photos, cinema tickets, bill, even unimportant doodles from the old days. She took a polaroid photo from the top of the pile, there was her and Jongdae right before the incident. She was wondering, what happened with us? 

I'm sorry it took long time awhile to update. Namjoo's feeling revealed! I don't know, I potrayed her to be confuse with her own feeling, and Jongdae's kiss made it more tangled and complicated. Yeah, first love is confusing, everyone.