Tiffany rested her back on the wall as she and Taeyeon waited for Sooyoung, the doctor and Taeyeon’s friend, to finish her meeting with one patient. She felt nervous, anxious, excited. She tapped the wall behind her while she was conscious of it, she couldn’t stop it. She was that nervous. It felt like she was practically holding her breath too.

She felt the warmth of a body beside her. Taeyeon who was in front of the door has moved to rest her back on the wall too. Tiffany sighed. Her finger stopped tapping the wall and for some reason she felt less nervous, still anxious but calmer. Taeyeon made her feel better. She turned towards her and Taeyeon returned her look. They smiled and Tiffany glanced at the plastic cup in Tae’s hand. Tiffany noticed that Taeyeon drinks when she is nervous or anxious and she thought she would not be as nervous as her but she was and that thought made her smile to herself.

“What?” Taeyeon softly asked smiling.

Tiffany shook her head with the smile still on her face, “Nothing. I’m just nervous”

Taeyeon chuckled “Yeah, me too”

They grinned at each other before the door suddenly opened and both of them jumped a little.

“You can call me anytime, Ms. Park” The tall woman, who Tiffany assumed was Sooyoung said to the lady leaving the room. When Sooyoung saw them she showed her hand, silently asking to wait until she stops talking with the other lady. After that she greeted them, with a smile and happy vibe that made Tiffany feel at ease.

“You must be Tiffany!” Sooyoung bowed a little to her and Tiffany did it too.

“Come in come in, sorry for taking so long”

Sooyoung opened the door, Tiffany followed by Taeyeon, walked in and sat on the chairs facing the neat desk in front of them. Sooyoung closed the door and sat on her chair, smiled at Taeyeon and then at Tiffany. She took out some papers and a cute pen with gummy bears design to take some notes. It felt like a usual appointment at the hospital, but it wasn’t. Tiffany touched her belly for a second before she put both her hands on her lap.

“So tell me Tiffany, how many months and weeks? And how have you been feeling?” Sooyoung asked with a friendly tone but with a hint of professionalism in between.

“Umm… 4 months in a week or so. I have headaches and sometimes nauseas, I get hungry a lot and I also go to the bathroom a lot to… pee” the last part came out different, it was weird to say it with Taeyeon sitting beside her even if it was completely normal. She felt like a kid.

“Change of moods? As in you feel happy and then you just want to scream at someone?” Sooyoung imitated both feelings and Tiffany and Taeyeon chuckled at it.

“Yes” Tiffany nodded, “I also feel more tired than before and my s hurt sometimes”

Sooyoung nodded while writing her notes, “Your pregnancy follows the typical symptoms and that means it seems to be a healthy one” she looked up and smiled. Tiffany smiled too, glad at that statement. She felt a stare on her and it was Taeyeon giving her a smile. She has been quiet but the smile talked for her and it said she was glad too. That’s what Tiffany sensed.

“Taeyeon told me you’re living with her, right?”

Sooyoung was still smiling but her look seemed serious. Tiffany didn’t have to think why, it was obvious.

She nodded.

“How do you feel about it, are you comfortable with my friend? Sometimes she is a pain in the ” Sooyoung joked.

“Yah!” Taeyeon said and slapped the othe girl’s arm. Tiffany watched them a little amused, realizing this was the first time she saw Taeyeon interacting with one of her friends.

“Hey, don’t hit me! This is actually part of what I should ask” She grinned and Taeyeon playfully glared at her.

The tall girl stared at Tiffany and asked again but leaving out the ‘pain in the ’ part.

Tiffany’s mind shortly recalled the weeks she has been living with Taeyeon. Her lips curved upwards. There was only one answer.

“I feel more than comfortable… it’s great” Tiffany was about to turn to Taeyeon but suddenly felt shy about it. She stared at the fingers on her lap.

“She really takes care of me and I’m really grateful” She looked up at Sooyoung and then at Taeyeon. Tiffany saw her looking at her, seemly shy just as her. Blushing? There was some pink on her cheeks and Tiffany almost wanted to touch them. Almost.

“Aww. Taeyeon can be really sweet if she wants too” Sooyoung mentioned with a grin on her face and Taeyeon cleared but didn’t say a word, still blushing. Tiffany smiled at her, feeling happy for some reason.

Sooyoung spoke again taking Tiffany out of her thoughts, “Well, everything seems to be going great. Just follow your feelings and the normal rules. Don’t drink or smoke. If you want something ask for it, if you feel like doing something or going somewhere then do it. A good mood is the best for you and the baby. Just don’t dream of suddenly going to France or something”

Tiffany laughed, “Don’t worry. That’s not going to happen. Thanks” she smiled at Sooyoung. She was a great doctor. She would thank Taeyeon later.

“Now, here comes the best part” Sooyoung mentioned with a spark on her eyes. Tiffany understood and her insides started to be nervous and anxious again. She breathed in.

“I’ll show you your baby”

 

 

They walked to another room, Taeyeon was beside her with another cup of water. Tiffany stared at her for a second before staring at Sooyoung’s back in front of them, as she was guiding them to the next room.

Tiffany’s heart was beating fast and this was only the first ultrasound. She was sure there will be more but she wasn’t sure she would get used to it. She is going to see her baby, it would most likely be a little thing on her tummy but she is going to see a creature inside of her, a living being that would grow up to be someone someday. Her baby.

Sooyoung opened the door but this time she didn’t wait for them and walked in first. Tiffany was about to get inside the room when she felt Taeyeon grabbing her arm gently. She turned to her, waiting for something to be said but they just stayed there, outside, quietly.

“I’m nervous” Tiffany confessed with a small smile.

Taeyeon dropped the cup in the trash close to them and chuckled, “But it is a happy feeling, right?”

She asked sweetly and Tiffany wanted to hug her. She was right, it was a nervous happy feeling. She dropped her gaze for a second before staring at the older girl in front of her again. She nodded. It was a weird, new, different, happy nervous feeling.

Taeyeon chuckled, “I’m nervous too”

Sooyoung called them and after a little while they finally got inside. Tiffany walked to Sooyoung who was handing her some clothes while Taeyeon closed the door and sat on one of the chairs close the bed.

Tiffany changed and laid down on the bed; she breathed deeply and stared at the ceiling. She felt someone grabbing her left hand and it was Taeyeon who stood up from the chair to be by her side. They smiled at each other and Taeyeon loosened her hold on Tiffany’s hand but didn’t release it and to be honest, Tiffany was glad she didn’t. She wanted Taeyeon to hold her hand.

Sooyoung did what is usually done. She put the gel on her abdomen and moved the artefact -which name Tiffany didn’t know- and started the process. Tiffany’s eyes were locked to the screen in black and white, expectantly. She has watched this scene in movies, she has imagined them from books but now that it was happening to her it wasn’t something she could explain.

“Here it is, Tiffany. Your almost 4 months little thing”

Tiffany knew Sooyoung was smiling at her but she couldn’t take out her eyes from the ultrasound monitor. Her heart beat fast and it felt like she could hear the heart of the baby too. She bit her lips, holding in the tears forming in her eyes. She could barely see the baby but the feeling getting to her was just like she could see every part of it.

“Looks great” Sooyoung casually mentioned.

Tiffany shed one tear and this time it wasn’t a sad one. She felt the hold on her hand tightening and turned towards Taeyeon. They stared at each other. Taeyeon had a big smile, showing her teeth and a cute dimple close to the corner of . Tiffany smiled too, with the tear drying on her cheek and with her heart feeling something she never thought it would feel.

She felt like a mother. She is a mother.

“Can you see it?” Tiffany asked Sooyoung, her eyes going back and forth between her and the screen, “Can you see if it’s a boy or a girl?”

“It’s a boy” Sooyoung smiled at her.

“How are you sure, Soo?” Taeyeon suddenly spoke and it was exactly what Tiffany was thinking.

“I have done this a lot, Tae. I know you guys can’t see it and in real terms it shouldn’t be 100% sure. But I really think it’s a boy.”

Tiffany heard Sooyoung’s words while she stared at the seemingly sleeping fetus. A boy… she thought.

“A boy…” Tiffany smiled.

Sooyoung nodded. “In the next session we will 100% sure though.”

“I’ll leave you alone for a moment; the image is frozen so you can still see it. I’ll give you the pics after I come here and finish the session” Sooyoung said with a smile and rubbed Tiffany’s arm a little before patting Taeyeon and leaving the room.

Tiffany sat and stared at it again, smiling. It was so small but she could see the head, the little legs. It was amazing.

“It will be beautiful” Taeyeon said and Tiffany looked at her curiously.

Taeyeon turned her head towards her and the gaze she had was different, almost intimate. Tiffany’s insides tingled at the sight of her eyes, her own gaze doing the same unconsciously.

“Inside and out… like you”

The words came out from Taeyeon’s lips so gently and Tiffany didn’t know what to say or think. Her eyes were just locked to hers as if she could get lost in the sea of her emotional stare. She wondered if Taeyeon could understand what she was feeling, she wondered if Taeyeon said that for a particular reason.

She wondered if Taeyeon felt what she felt.

Someone opened the door and they jumped, startled by the sound and locked eyes to anywhere else as if they had done something they shouldn’t have. And maybe it was true.

Sooyoung was the one who opened the door and Tiffany saw how she watched them with curiosity, especially at Taeyeon. She felt strange under her stare.

“So… Tiffany. You can change already. I’ll give you the ultrasound in 10 minutes so you can take your time while changing”

Tiffany nodded at her.

“Do you want me to wait here or…” Taeyeon said normally, like nothing happened or maybe nothing happened. Tiffany wasn’t sure anymore.

“It’s fine, Tae. Go with Sooyoung” Tiffany smiled and didn’t wait for Taeyeon to talk again. She grabbed her clothes and got inside the bathroom.

She changed slowly, with nothing or everything on her mind. She finished changing and looked at her reflection on the mirror above the sink. She thought of the baby, she thought of Taeyeon.

Tiffany has been really emotional. This day was just different and unique and maybe this was the reason that Tiffany felt this way but… deep inside she knew it was more than that.

 

 

***

 

 

Tiffany looked out of the car window, her mind lost in the events of today. She had in her hands a folder with the pics of the baby she is expecting and even while holding them it felt surreal. Surreal might not be the best word to describe her feelings but she couldn’t think of anything else. But she was happy, she really was and the day she found out she was pregnant she never thought she would feel like this.

She took the pics out and stared at them again, fully, like it was the first time. She touched them and wondered if this is what her mother felt years ago when she saw her for the first time. And her dad… her dad who was with her, what did he feel? She never asked him about that and she never had the opportunity to ask her mother or maybe she did ask but she was so young to remember it.

Jiwoong… thinking about her dad made her mind jump to him. She wondered how different it would have been with him here, today, looking at the ultrasound pics in her hands and how the baby would grow up with both of her parents by it’s side, no matter if they were a couple or not. But even if life turned to up to be different, she wouldn’t let this back them down… she will protect this, she swore to herself as she tightened her hold on the pics and felt a knot in .

“Fany…”

Tiffany heard Taeyeon’s voice and turned to her. She saw how her eyes watched her with worry, probably because she was really quiet, and then went back to the road.

“I’m fine, sorry for spacing out” Tiffany smiled at her and continued when Taeyeon finally saw it “I’m just emotional…” she chuckled for a second.

Taeyeon smiled and nodded, her eyes on the road.

Tiffany felt a sudden rush of comfort or warmth by looking at Taeyeon, she gazed at the pics in her hand and then at older girl again. A smile crept to her lips.

“What is it?” Taeyeon asked, noticing Tiffany’s eyes on her.

“I’m just…” she stared at Taeyeon “thankful”

Happy.

“I’m really grateful for everything you do for me” She said sincerely.

Taeyeon shook her head “You don’t have to say it. I do it because… because I want to do it” she breathed “I’m happy… to help you”

Tiffany smiled even more at those genuine words coming from the girl who now seemed shy to have said them.

“I’m happy too” Tiffany said and it was the truth. It was a while since she actually felt that something made her happy, but she really was happy that Taeyeon came into her life, that she insisted Tiffany move in with her. That was also something she never imagined would happen.

“Sooyoung is a great doctor” Tiffany suddenly changed the topic.

Taeyeon laughed and nodded, “She is. You have to see her outside of work, though. She is crazy”

Tiffany laughed “I actually noticied she would be really fun, maybe we can go out someday!” she said enthusiastically.

Taeyeon grinned “Yes! It would be fun. You can meet Seohyun and Sunny too, my other friends”

“Oh! I can bring Jessi” Tiffany said in a happy tone and Taeyeon nodded with a smile.

Tiffany imagined them hanging out and wondered how would it be, would Taeyeon friends like her? Would they get along and become friends? When Jessica met Taeyeon and seemed to get along it made her feel good. She wanted them to be friends in some way. And she would like to get closer to Taeyeon’s friends too.

“It will be really fun” Taeyeon grinned at her with the cute dimple at the side.

Tiffany looked out of the window again, feeling the breeze of the not so cold day. She closed her eyes, she felt nice.

“Fany uh, do you have something to do later? I mean, I know you have work but maybe, we could do something today” Taeyeon blabbered and Tiffany thought it was cute.

“I don’t. I was thinking of just eating something at home”

Taeyeon chuckled “Eating? We had lunch 2 hours ago”

“Yah” Tiffany laughed “I can’t help but get hungry… I want popcorn” She dramatically sighed.

“Umm maybe we can watch a movie at home” Taeyeon smiled at her.

“With lots of popcorn” Tiffany grinned cutely.

“Your wish is my command, Ms. Hwang” Taeyeon joked and Tiffany laughed.

Life didn’t turn out to be what she expected Tiffany thought at one point, but now, as she stared at Taeyeon laughing and then when her eyes fell on the pics on her lap,  she thought that maybe it wasn’t so bad.  It would get better, little by little.

 

 

***

 

 

Taeyeon took out the third and last hot bag of popcorn of the microwave and put everything on the bowl at the side that was filled with the first two popcorn bags.

“Is it ready?” Tiffany came into the kitchen with her eyes filled with hunger. Taeyeon laughed at the sight.

“Yes it is.  Take it, you’re dying” Tiffany smiled and grabbed the bowl and got out of the kitchen. Taeyeon threw the plastic bags on the trash and followed her.

“What movie” Tiffany said while she ate.

“Umm, I think this one from Adan Sandler is really funny. Wanna watch it?” Taeyeon showed Tiffany the dvd case of the movie. It was “Blended” the last movie of the famous actor.

“Oh! I really wanted to watch that one, let’s watch it” Tiffany said excitedly before munching on the popcorn.

“Ok then” Taeyeon inserted the disc on the dvd player “And hey don’t eat everything, I also want some” She joked.

“Hey, there’s a lot here!” Tiffany said with a playful angered tone.

Taeyeon raised her arms in surrender while laughing, “Fine fine. I was just saying”

She turned off the lights and sat next to Tiffany, grabbing some popcorn before playing the movie with the remote on the small table in front of them. They watched the movie while talking some times, laughing and eating from the bowl. But when they were quiet, Taeyeon couldn’t help but stare at Tiffany. Her eyes went back and forth between the movie and her. She focused on the movie with furrowed eyebrows. Maybe it was because she already watched ‘Blended’ but she couldn’t stop giving glances at the girl on her right side.

She sighed and raised her hand to grab more of the bowl, focusing on the movie again. She felt a hand inside and she instantly turned to Tiffany. She was looking at her too.

She took out her hand and with an awkward smile said, “Sorry”

Why was she sorry for, though? Ugh, she was so stupid sometimes.

Tiffany shook her head and said it was fine before turning to the movie again.

The atmosphere was weird for a while, but the jokes on the movie made everything lighter and back to normal, back to what it should be according to Taeyeon. But the older girl couldn’t help but feel weird everytime anything romantic happened on the movie, she kept her eyes locked to the tv screen trying to not pay attention to the girl beside her. What was happening to her? Taeyeon was a little frustrated.

The movie ended and Taeyeon released a sigh unconsciously.

“It was really fun” Tiffany commented as she smiled to Taeyeon and Taeyeon smiled just by seeing her.

“I know, I like his movies” Taeyeon ignored her inner frustration “Do you have to go to work now?”

Tiffany looked pensive for a moment, “I still have an hour. Let’s watch whatever it’s on tv”

Taeyeon nodded and gave the remote to Tiffany so she could find whatever she wanted. She took her phone from her pocket and played with it for a while, trying to focus on something else. Suddenly a shriek coming from the girl sitting on her right hurt her ears, she took her attention off of the phone to see what made Tiffany scream. When she lifted her head she saw Tiffany fangirling over a Disney movie.

What.

“Oh my goddd this movie”

“Aladdin?” Taeyeon turned to Tiffany, her eyes watching Tiffany in amusement.

“Yes, I think I haven’t seen this movie in years!” Tiffany said excitedly and it made Taeyeon smile even more “This one and The Little Mermaid are my favorites”.

“I think I like too many disney movies to choose one” Taeyeon chuckled.

Tiffany watched the movie with a different glint in her eyes and Taeyeon knew what it was. It was the glint of a person reminiscing something happy, but nostalgic. Taeyeon thought it was cute and it made her want to see more sides of Tiffany. She wanted to know more about her… just thinking about it made her tummy feel things.

“Did you ever want a prince, like the ones in Disney movies?” Taeyeon asked while looking at Tiffany, unconsciously thinking of her brother.

Tiffany chuckled, “That’s a little girl’s dream”

Taeyeon smiled, “I didn’t ask that”

Tiffany smiled again but then her expression changed. She dropped her gaze, obviously thinking of Taeyeon’s apparently silly question. She lifted her head and spoke while watching the movie.

“When I was a kid I thought every girl deserved her own prince, I wanted one too, nice and charming like in Disney movies” She chuckled and continued “But while growing up I changed my mind… I don’t need someone perfect, I just want someone to love deeply and who can love me back with the same intensity. I guess”

Tiffany turned to Taeyeon and the older girl couldn’t help but wonder if she actually experienced that. Love someone so deeply and being loved back in the same way. Did she feel like this with Jiwoong or was their time together to short for her to grasp her ideal love?

“I want that someday… I guess”

Someday…

Taeyeon nodded with furrowed eyebrows, her mind lost in thoughts of Tiffany.

“What about you, Taeyeon?” Taeyeon blinked from her thoughts, her attention towards Tiffany, “Did you ever want a prince charming?” She chuckled while asking.

Taeyeon laughed for a bit, awkwardly, “I… did, actually. When I was really young I keep on waiting for a prince to come” Taeyeon eyes were locked to the screen tv as she answered “But then I grew up and I found out that I didn’t want a prince” Maybe a princess, she chuckled while thinking of it. “I just… want to find my special someone, someday” She laughed, embarrassed by her cheesiness.

She looked at Tiffany, with a small smile on her face. Tiffany’s expression mirroring her own.

Tiffany nodded with the small smile still on her face, “I do... want a happy ending, though”, she said with her eyes locked on the tv. Taeyeon watched her.

Everyone wants a happy ending.

“A happy ever after ending?” Taeyeon smiled and Tiffany chuckled.

“Yes, I think so” Tiffany answered and Taeyeon grinned.

 

“Me too”

 

 

***

 

 

Taeyeon slowly opened her eyes, confused of what just happened. She rubbed her eyes and realized where she was. She dozed off. The tv in front of her was showing the credits of what Taeyeon assumed were part of the Aladdin movie. She turned her head to the right and saw Tiffany peacefully sleeping. She felt a little bad that she couldn’t finish the movie or at least she thoughy she didn’t. She watched her for what seemed like a minute, quietly. Her eyes traveled from Tiffany’s eyes, to her cute nose, to her plump lips. Her expression while sleeping brought a smile to Taeyeon’s face and her hands wanted to touch her hair but she didn’t.

She turned her eyes to the TV and sighed, like she was resigned.

All of a sudden, the couch moved a little, something was vibrating.  Taeyeon searched for what she thought was Tiffany’s phone, since hers still was in her pocket. Trying not to wake up Tiffany, she gently took out the phone that was under Tiffany’s left leg. The called id was ‘Jessi’, Tiffany’s blonde friend. And boss, so it might be something about work.

She doubted for some seconds before taking the call herself. She didn’t want to nosy but she also didn’t want to wake her up.

“Tiff? Hey I’ve have called you three times, where are you?” Jessica said as soon she accepted the call.

“Umm… This is Taeyeon, Tiffany fell asleep and I didn’t want to wake her up” Taeyeon explained, she didn’t want Tiffany’s friend to misunderstood her and think that she was the type of person that would just take somebody else call.

“Oh? Oh hi Taeyeon. She must be tired” Jessica said in a friendly tone.

“Should I wake her up?” Taeyeon asked, not really knowing what to do.

“No, no, it’s fine. I rather she sleeps well. Thanks Taeyeon”

“Why?” Why thank you?

“For letting me know and for taking care of her” Taeyeon could feel Jessica smiling at the other side of the call. And her word made her lips turn upwards.

“No problem, I like doing it.” She said sincerely.

Taeyeon and Jessica said goodbye and then the blonde girl ended the call. Taeyeon put Tiffany’s phone in her free pocket and turned to Tiffany. She wanted to take Tiffany to her room but she wasn’t strong enough to carry her while she is asleep. She would need to wake her up for a while, she hoped that Tiffany wouldn’t wake up fully.

“Hey…Fany, wake up. Let me take you to your room” Taeyeon said softly, close to Tiffany’s ear.

“Fany” Taeyeon shook her lightly and Tiffany stirred in her sleep, frowning in the process. Taeyeon smiled.

“Fany. I gotta take you to your room, you and the baby need to rest in a better position” Taeyeon grabbed Tiffany’s arms and used her strength to made the younger girl stand up.

Tiffany sat up with eyes closed “What… what’s going on”

Taeyeon wrapped one arm around Tiffany’s back and slowly made her stand up, “Jessica called and said you can skip work today, so I’m taking you to your room” She said softly to not startle the confused girl.

“Jessi said… Ok”

Taeyeon giggled at the sight in front of her and walked to the room with Tiffany clinging to her. They reached the bedroom and Taeyeon removed the sheets and carefully made Tiffany lie on the bed.

“I didn’t finish… Aladdin” Tiffany said with her eyes still closed.

“Shh, sleep. We’ll watch it another day. I promise” Taeyeon said while putting the covers over her.

Tiffany smiled and Taeyeon watched her confused.

“Thank you, you’re the best” and with those final words, the younger girl fell into dreamland again. Taeyeon watched her for some seconds. The funny feeling inside her tummy was back and Taeyeon knew what it was.

She stood up, reached for her pocket and took out the phone. She put it on the nightstand and realized that on it was the folder with the ultrasound pics. She grabbed it and opened the folder, so she could look at the pics.

She sat quietly on the bed and stared at them. These were static images of what she saw today but the memory was still lively on her mind. She remember how small it was, how it was actually beating inside of Tiffany’s tummy. She remember Sooyoung’s words, that the baby would most likely be a boy. He would look like a mix of Jiwoong and Tiffany and Taeyeon tried to picture that image in her head. The thought was strange.

She saw a tear drop on the pic and realized she was tearing up. This baby… was Jiwoong’s baby. Did he see it? With them today… did he?

She felt glad, emotional and melancholic at the same time, knowing that even if Jiwoong wasn’t around anymore, a part of him was here or almost here. Her eyes left the pics and went to Tiffany’s peaceful sleeping face.

Tiffany was having Jiwoong’s baby, their baby and that suddenly became more complicated than before. It became more complicated that it should be.

She furrowed her brows. Confused, annoyed. She dropped her gaze for a second only to stare at Tiffany again. Her expression softened while watching her breathe.

The new feelings were there again and Taeyeon tried to ignore them, act like they weren’t there. But she knew, deep inside she knew.

And with them came another feeling.

Guilt.

-----------------------------

A/N: Sorry for taking so long, I know what I promised and I'm sorry. Actually, I had the chapter almost finished 2 weeks ago? but after what happened with Sica I didn't feel like writting. But now I feel better about that so here's the new chapter. I hope you liked it, please tell me what you think about it. It motives me to try getting better though I'm not exactly sure if I'm getting better lol. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed it, I can't wait for the next chapter hehe.