Struggles from within
The Snow PrinceI should have sustained quite a bit of injury yesterday, but how is it I feel absolutely fine? no aching, no stinging pain. Instead, I felt a warm pair of hands, with fingers tangled with mine. I pry open my eyes slightly and saw the girl I have been yearning for these days, her head lying on my chest. I am careful not to wake her up as I gazed at her. Her hair fell across her face and I gently brushed it off to reveal her sharp, beautiful face. Her innocent beauty looked even more captivating when she's sleeping.
Someone else interrupted the quietness and woken her from her dreams. She noticed I was looking, and returned a tearful glance into my eyes and I could sense a thousand words she is dying to converse with me.
"you're awake" the guy at the door broke the awkward silence and she quickly pulled away.
~~~~~~~
There's something between them. I saw affectionate love, unconditional concern and care transpiring between them. How could it be? Umika, what are you thinking when you fell for a devil.
"Yuto, you're back."
Yuto nodded gently. "How are you doing?"
Both Yuto and Umika looked at Ryosuke for an answer, but he said coldly as if shutting everyone out from his life, denying all the care he received. "I'm fine... I should go."
He took off urgently but Umika grabbed hold of his arms. Umika, let go! Please, I don't want to hurt you.
He tightened his jaw and was about to shake her hands off when her words penetrated his heart and broke his perseverance "Ryosuke~please stay and let me take care of you for the time being." In his loneliest period, he did yearn for someone to say something like this to him, someone who didn't mind all the danger, even if that someone just silently sit beside him, that would suffice. All he need now is a perfect excuse, and he got it.
"yeah, i insist you stay. I haven't thank you for saving my girlfriend. If she knows I let you go after all the hell you went through yesterday, she'll most likely come after me."
Ryosuke didn't respond, but his unshaken stare into Yuto's eyes sends chills down his spine. Yuto could sense his dark aura shadowing him, but couldn't quite sense his intention to kill.
"I'm Nakajima Yuto, Umika's friend" Yuto stretched out his hand as a sign of peace, but Ryosuke ignored. The silence was unbearable so Umika decided to do the introduction instead.
"He is Ryosuke... my boyfriend" she recalled the identity he used in front of her grandma when she was alive, and decided to use that. In fact, she loved this make-believe relationship, cause it is the only way she could comfortably cling onto him.
Ryosuke responded with a sigh and disheartening words that reminds her of their status quo. "ex-boyfriend. we have broken up after your grandmother died, didn't we, Umika?"
Yuto saw the sadness in their eyes. He knew that she feigned the relationship to conceal his real identity, but still he felt that it wasn't entirely unfounded. The denial itself has clearly broken both their hearts, not just Umika.
"erm... anyway.. Umika, I brought some food back, so you guys can stay indoors. Wanna come down and give me a hand?"
"yeah" she looked at Ryosuke and made sure he has no intention to leave before making her way down. She's afraid he'll be gone in a blink of an eye. Her heart wouldn't be able to take another loss.
"Ryosuke, I'll see you in a while okay..." he didn't answer, but the look in his eyes gave her a definite reply
~~~~~~~~~
"Umika..."
"yea?"
"I may not be much of a help, but if there's anything you need, even a listening ear, do let me know... if there's anything at all, you wanna tell me, I'm ready to listen too."
Umika felt that there's more to what Yuto said... She felt like he knew something, which wasn't a surprise given his interest in these sorcery and supernatural stuff. But she also knew that knowing more will do him no good. She did not want to see Ryosuke, or anyone else, taking another person away in her life. Hikaru almost died. Yuto is too precious and his death will bring depression to many people around him.
"I will, don't worry Yuto. I'll be fine"
"one more thing... the charm that Hikaru asked me to make for you, keep it properly. You don't want him to know you have it with you. It of course doesn't work, but the mere existence of it just proves your distrust in him. so..."
(credit in photo)Umika understood Yuto's concern. If Ryosuke sees it, she couldn't imagine the reaction he will give. She felt like she didn't need such a protection charm, all she wants is Ryosuke's protection - that's more than enough. After seeing how he risk his life for Haruna, she is even more sure of how much she needed him.
"I understand Yuto. He will not see it"
A loud crash startled them. Yuto and Umika ran to the living room and saw Ryosuke pinned on the ground by Hikaru.
"Hikaru!" both of them shouted in surprise.
"You think you guys can hide from me. How could you allow this bastard in?!!"
Ryosuke didn't defend himself from the ongoing punches from Hikaru.
"NO!! HIKARU, LET GO OF HIM. STOP IT!" Umika couldn't allow Ryosuke to be hit when he has no wrong in this. She held back Hikaru's arms to prevent the next puch from landing on Ryosuke.
"LET GO OF ME! THIS BASTARD IS UNWANTED! HE'S A JINX TO BE GOTTEN RID OFF! I HAVE TO RID HIM FROM THIS WORLD" Hikaru violently shake his arms off, causing Umika to fall backwards and hit her forehead on the side of the table.
"ARGHHH" she screamed in pain. Everyone was shocked by her accident, especially Ryosuke. He ran forward and held Umika in his arms.
"silly. why do you do that for me?! i deserved it. what he said is true. you don't have to be so defensive"
"i- i can't let anyone hurt you...i l-ove"
"shhh" he laid a finger against her lips to stop her from continuing. At the same time Yuto tried to restrain Hikaru.
"get a hold of yourself!!" Yuto shouted and finally Hikaru realised he has hurt his loved one.
"I didn't mean to, Umika. I'm sorry"
"please go, H-hikaru... please leave my house now..." Umika weakly requested.
"I'll make sure they are okay. Hikaru, take a step back and calm down." Yuto convinced.
Hikaru clenched his fist and stormed out of the house. He left a line that threatened the already uncertain relationship between Umika and Ryosuke.
"You promised to forget about him."
Ryosuke sees the pain in her face and she is clutching his hands tightly. His heart breaks to see the blood flowing from her forehead.
"Yuto, could you leave us alone?" Ryosuke wanted to be alone with her so he can do his job.
"huh? but..." Yuto is afraid of what Ryosuke wants to do to Umika. should I trust him? Can i leave her alone with him?
"I won't hurt her."
Yuto is surprised to hear Ryosuke answer to his unspoken concern. He recalled the act of sincerity that Ryosuke shown to Haruna and Umika, and he felt that he could only give it a bet.
"alright, i'll take your word for it. I'll come back and check out on her later." Yuto left, leaving the whole house to Ryosuke and Umika.
"Umika~" her hands refused to let go of his hands, so he could only let her be. He wrapped her in his arms, carassed her hair with a kiss. He moved on to the deep cut across her forehead and the blood that is flowing like a small stream.
"R-Ryosuke~ it hurts"
"I know~" he retreated his tongue and pressed his lips on the wound...
"ahhh" Umika felt a stinging pain that made her tremble.
"it's okay" he said softly to her and tightened his grip of her hands.
The cut closed up as Ryosuke's lips remained on her forehead. his therapeutic powers mend the open wound and mended her broken heart.
"Ryosuke!!" she threw herself on him and hugged him as though there's no tomorrow. He finally reciprocated and let his hands around her body. The warmth radiated from their bodies and comfort their souls
***************
Hikaru ran to the graveyard and stood before a newly dug grave.
(credit in photo)
" I'll protect your granddaughter at all cost. I won't let that guy take her life. I won't let him ruin her life.! don't worry" Hikaru clenched his fist as he spoke. his determination only meant that he'll stop at nothing to achieve this goal, even if he needed to be underhanded.
"Ryosuke... you'll wait and see what I'll do to you. I'll make sure you disappear from this place, never to show yourself in front of her ever!" he solemnly swore as he looked out into the dark, stormy sky.
*********
The magic that healed Umika tire her and she fell asleep in Ryosuke's embrace. He carried her into her bedroom and enjoyed her sleeping face for a few hours, before making his way to her balcony.
When the night fell, Umika's first view when she opened her eyes was the lonely figure of him in her balcony staring out into the sky.
She recalled what her grandma said "the boy, he has a lonely heart. you have to show him that there's love in this world."
he looks more frail, more lonely than before. what have you been doing all these time, Ryosuke?
"Ryosuke~" She startled him. He turned and looked at her while his mind pondered over more questions.
How is it I find it so hard to focus these days... I can't even sense her approaching. there's something going on within me. it's not just because I haven't recovered. how I wish Yuri and Daiki are here to assist me with these mysteries.
"Ryosuke!" she brought him back to senses.
"yea?"
"what are you thinking about?" Umika was bothered about him zoning out , she knew he's troubled over something and is persistent on helping him.
"sit down~" Ryosuke pulled her to sit beside him. their shoulders were side by side, and their skin rubbed against each other, causing Umika'face to flush like a tomato. when he turned to speak to her, their faces were only inches apart. she found herself dissolving in his minty breathe and scent, but she tried to focus herself.
"remembered yourself saying you'll stay beside me till death do us part?"
"w-what?! how did you know what i said in my dream?"
"cause it isn't just a dream~ my soul entered your dream so technically whatever we said was all real"
"e-even the k-iss?" she only felt the embarrassment after she causally spoke those words.but it's too late, he heard it.
"yes, even the kiss" he giggled slightly, and Umika once again enjoyed the rare smile of the snow prince which never fails to make her heart race. he looks even hotter when he smiles.
but the smile quickly returned into a serious tone.
"there's something I need to show you" Ryosuke revealed an oracle from his hand and Umika identified it right away. it's hers, he got it from her when she's sleeping. He grabbed her palm and wrapped it nicely around the oracle with his palm over hers. Umika gave him a look of confusion.
"the burning question in your mind... you'll find your answers here...and then you'll realise that what you are doing is entirely wrong. and that you should just keep to what you promised Hikaru" Ryosuke gave a light squeeze of his palm on hers and Umika's surroundings suddenly blurs into a snowy backdrop.
Ryosuke? Ryosuke?!! where are you?!!!
wait a minute, i can't move. I'm bounded. I turned my head and was freaked out by the Snow Queen standing behind me.
"Shida Mirai~ you should have seen your tragic ending. do you really think you and Ryosuke's love can bloom? Ryosuke is mine forever and whoever who tries to take him away will die horribly. your death will serve as a reminder to others, as well as him, not to betray me."
Shida Mirai?? I'm Shida Mirai? Shida Mirai is Ryosuke's love??
"Mirai!!!!" I saw the slightly younger Ryosuke running towards her.
"R-Ryosuke." i called out to him weakly (I have no control over my speech or limbs, it's only now I realised that I'm watching from Mirai's eyes what exactly happened to her)
"Did you, or did you not lie to me, my son?" the Queen asked.
"I..." before Ryosuke can continue, mirai/I interrupted.
"he didn't lie! he was going to kill me..." i said. my heart is trembling with fear as I saw how this is unfolding. Mirai is attempting to sacrifice her life for Ryosuke... i saw Ryosuke choked on his tears which ran like watertap.
"if it's true, then prove to me." the Queen pushed me a few steps forward so i stood right in front of Ryosuke. the Queen threw the cursed ice dagger and it landed on Ryosuke's hands. He clutched hold of it tightly, and looked sadly into my eyes.
"remember your promise~" mirai/i smiled.
"i was supposed to be protecting you" Ryosuke said.
Mirai was brave, but I wasn't. I was physically and mentally breaking down at the thought that I'm gonna be killed.
He shut his eyes and mouthed "i'm sorry. goodbye" and he stabbed the dagger into my heart. I fell into his arms, and tears dropped from his eyes to my face.
"thank you for everything, Ryosuke. You're the best thing that ever happened to me. I love you" that was the last words Mirai said.
it's amazing how she didn't fear about death. being killed by her own boyfriend could be the most heartbreaking thing ever, but she's happy about it. why? I couldn't understand Mirai's inner thoughts, and before I knew it, My body froze.
I realised a familiar oracle sitting in my side pocket. Ryosuke removed it and kissed the oracle. He then set the space beneath the ice statue of Mirai ablaze.
"Nooo!" from the blazing fire, I could see Ryosuke's cries too. I have never seen him cry so bitterly.
in no time, the statue melted into a pail of water. I separated from Mirai and watched the next part as a invisible soul.
He took the liquid remains of Mirai and pour over a seed.
Oh my gosh! that tree! that tree which I saw when he brought me to see Hikaru, that lone tree in the enchanted forest he created, was her!!!
I wanted to reach out to Ryosuke but my vision blurs once again and the next moment, I returned to reality.
"She's my first love, Shida Mirai. if it wasn't because of this oracle, the curse would have shattered the ice statute into billions of minute pieces, leaving behind nothing of her."
Umika was traumatized by what happened to a fine, pretty girl and realised her timidness as compared to Mirai... she's doubting her own courage to face such brutality if she were to love Ryosuke. she pictured her own death, like Mirai's, in her mind and it only made it worst.
Ryosuke read Umika's mind and knew that she's backing out.
"that's what I've been trying to tell you. you have totally no idea what you're putting yourself through when you so easily said you love me... love don't befall on people like me, neither does friendship. Mirai and I learnt it the hard way, and I'm not gonna let you end up like her. she's just as wrong as you are. if only I was just as persistent to rid her from my life, if only I resisted the temptation, the tragedy wouldn't have happen, you understand Umika?"
Umika was so confused with her own stand that she couldn't even find a reason to rebut him like she usually do.
"I need some time alone" Umika ran out of the room, with the oracle still in her hand, and shut herself in the room beside.
Ryosuke, now alone in Umika's room, looked back into the night sky and a drop of tear rolled down his cheeks.
(credit in photo)Umika~ you don't know how hard it is to push you away. I don't want you to leave, but I've no choice. I love you much more than you do.
A smile in my dreams, the unforgettable tears
I want to hold the arising you
Alone within the darkness of sleep, aiming for a light, I call out as I see the smiling you
If the moon disappears from the gap of the curtains, a single lonely heart on the bed will be frozen, only the memories burn
I want to touch you, but I can’t do anything
Tonight, I’ll fall into dreams alone again
Don’t come smiling, don’t come inside my heart
Although I understand it, although it hurts, I’m still reaching out these arms
Don’t disappear
Together in a misty night, exchanging heat
When morning sun arrives, you disappear without any memories
even though I’m searching the whole room,even with each day going dry, the future I offered you right now still burns my chest
This might be a dream, the pain won’t go away,only my love is aching
Don’t wave those hands, don’t show me the sorrow
No matter where I go, no matter what I do
Please enclose me with the tranquility
Don’t go
The light in my dreams, the forgotten sadness
Even if I see you in the town, I can’t meet you
If perchance I won’t be able to see your smile anymore,
It would be better if tomorrow never comes
I want to embrace you even only in my dreams forever
Ryosuke wiped the tears away from his eyes and realised how lonely he was at this time.
(credit to uploader)
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"Umika~ Umika"
Umika hear a voice call out to her while she laid on the bed crying over her cowardly escape and her cruelty towards Ryosuke. Am i Dreaming again? who is that? a ghost?
"You're no dreaming... I'm the voice from the oracle"
"The oracle?" Umika looked at the oracle in her hands, and she's finally enlightened about who the voice belongs to.
"Shida Mirai?"
"Yes, I am...oracles capture the most important memories of its owner...that's why part of me will always stay in it."
why this Ryosuke give this to me then? it is too precious?
"it's because you don't understand his intentions at all... before i go on, could you promise me something, On account I save you before?"
"if it doesn't involve killing, then yes~"
"There's a reason why Ryosuke gave this to you, and I'm glad he did...he did that because he loves you dearly, he wants to protect you..."
"it can't be...he always pushed me away..."
"that's my fault... i apologise for his behaviour. if it wasn't because I messed up and endangered my life, he wouldn't be so paranoid, and he wouldn't isolate himself in fear that he would harm others he care about."
"I~ I don't know if I can be as brave as you are."
"That's what I wanted to tell you... Umika, you're brave... from what I saw, you have persistently showed him you are, in terms of friendship and love...that's why he's also having a hard time trying to push you away. shunning from you hurts him as well... he's actually a very passionate, affectionate and kind boy"
"but i feared when I saw your death"
"Umika, he tricked you..."
"huh?"
"he only showed you the part that could scare you away... let me tell you, I never regretted knowing Ryosuke... It's a pity you only saw the introverted Ryosuke, cause I saw the delicate and loving side of him. I was an orphan and he was my only playmate who I set eyes on the first time I wandered into the forest. I gave my life to him... I knew this day would come, so long before I made him promise that he will be the one who kills me. I want to die in my lover's arms."
"that's very cruel to him. you want him to kill his own love and stain his hand with your blood."
"I know. It's selfish. That's why I'm really heartbroken to see him like this. and so I beg you, please don't leave him alone...please"
"Mirai~"
"and there's something else in his mind I need to tell you... He was the one who killed Yuri and Daiki's parents. Theyr recently found out and fell out with him, especially Yuri... You can tell how Ryosuke loved the both of his companions... Now that they walked away from him, he is gonna fall deeper into the darkness."
"omg..."
"he was still young then. the queen manipulated him to do so, and locked their memories, so he didn't know until Yuri found out.... you can imagine how horrible he felt...and he came to you, Umika"
Umika wiped her endless stream of tears as she finally understood Ryosuke's hardships. Mirai really knows him more than I do... He is really very lonely.
"Mirai~ he yearns to see you, why don't you show yourself?"
"it's better if he never sees me. I am a painful part of his memory. i will not show myself, so I could only depend on you Umika...don't leave him alone...he needs you, even if he doesn't say it."
"Mirai! MIRAI" the glow from the oracle dimmed and she hears no more of her.
Ryosuke....The words are beginning to make sense, her courage is building up within her....Mirai's reminder and enlightenment made her realise her love for Ryosuke and that she cannot leave him alone in pain. Honestly, she has no longer any kin, and the most important person that kept surfacing in her mind is him. She is never gonna be able to forget him either...memories of him has already been engraved in her heart, and removing it would only leave behind a incurable deep scar.
Umika dashed out of the room and into hers where she left Ryosuke, in hopes to return into his embrace and convince him of her determination. But when she opened the door, the scene before her caused the most unforgettable fear.
Ryosuke crouched on the floor as he experienced what seemed like seizures. His limbs trembled uncontrollably. Every sound of unbearable torture escaping from his mouth breaks her heart and made her feel helpless and lost. She stood a distance from him as she didn't know what to do to relieve his agony.
"Ryosuke WHAT'S HAPPENING?!!! TALK TO ME!"
"ARGHHHHHHHHH IT HURTS!!!!! I CAN'T CONTROL MYSELF, UMIKA... GO AWAY, I MIGHT HURT YOU... ARGHHHHHH!" It's like he is going berserk over the unknown source of pain that strikes every part of his body.
"NO I WON'T LEAVE YOU!" Umika gathers her courage and ran towards Ryosuke who has completely lost himself. Ice beams shot from all directions, and it could potentially hit her, but she couldn't care at all. She's not gonna leave him alone, cause she knew his position in her heart. It's only right to stay with him through his most difficult times.
Despite the danger, she tightly embraced him while he struggled violently.
"Go AWAY!"
"NO I WON'T" his violent struggles swung her from left to right, crashing her delicate body onto the hard furnitures in the small room, but she never let go of her tight grip around him.
Maybe it's because of her love that his pain eventually subsided, and he calmed down. the violence has tired them both, and they collapsed on the bed in each other's embrace. Before they both passed out, he left a soft kiss on her lips, as a sign of gratitude and ....his promise of love.
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