Kyungsoo

 

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Kyungsoo was an incredible singer, and at first, that was the only thing that mattered to me. We met on the busy streets of New York, at that time and age when faces begin to lose their character and become indistinguishable from each other. So I walked through the grey mass of life in the pedestrian crowd, and waited for nothing to happen.

 

But something did, and it must have been magical, for nothing else could explain the happening of it. A slight turn of my face, and of his, too, and our eyes caught in the center and remained there, suspended.

 

A lot of things could have happened at that point. He could have turned and continued walking, I could have turned and continued walking, and if either of those had happened then the next months of my life would have been erased, wiped cleanly away, ceased to exist.

 

Instead, he opened his mouth and began to sing. He sang to me, and I was enraptured by his silky smooth voice. He serenaded me and made me shiver with delight, quiver with anticipation, want more, as if his voice was an addiction, and I was addicted.

 

His name was Kyungsoo. A perfect fit for him, I thought. Lovely and harmonious, it flowed from my lips like the ending notes of an aria.

 

I didn’t have anything of my own to offer him, and I told him so. He waved it off, as if it meant nothing to him. Within a week, we were dating.

 

The first thing he gave me, besides his voice, was his website url. So typical of Kyungsoo. I memorized it by heart and stored it securely. The site was mostly audio clips of himself singing, but as time progressed pictures of us made it onto there too.

 

Other things about Kyungsoo began to matter at this point. The way he played jazz music in the morning to wake me up. The way he always knew when to leave me alone, and when to give me attention.

 

But also: his increasing distraction and impatience. His frequent disappearances, and then reappearances with another boy’s scent on his coat. When things began to deteriorate, the early warning signs meant I wasn’t caught off guard.

 

Breaking up was a given, though it didn’t make the experience any less because of that. Hit by the end of a relationship, or perhaps just an unfaithful boyfriend, I had to readjust to life without Kyungsoo. When I moved out, I kept nothing but the url, embedded firmly in my heart.

 

He never changed that url, and I never stopped checking it. Photos of us transition slowly out of existence and are replaced by photos of Kyungsoo with his new boyfriend, the two of them dressed in matching winter hats and scarves. I tried my best to let go.

 

Honestly, I’m still not sure if I’ve been successful.

 

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Can be read from any Exo member's perspective.