Yaaay! I've been wanting to put this up for forever! It's finally time for them all to talk to Daesung. Enjoy, you wonderful readers!

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Dear Daesung,

How could you do this? How could you kill yourself? All the consequenses of what you did seem to have fallen on my shoulders. I'm the leader. People expect me to be able to deal with this the best because of that. But what if I can't? What if I don't know how? I'm as upset and scared as anyone, if not more. I feel so lost right now. I feel like I should be doing something more concrete to help everyone deal with this, because that's my position as leader. But I don't feel like I can. I don't know. I want to help. But how can I help others when I can't even help myself?

Why didn't you come to me? I would've helped you as best as I could without your doing . . . that. I guess it's too late now. I should've seen the signs. And now I have to deal with not only my feelings, but everyone elses as well. I just . . . I don't feel like I should be experiencing this kind of thing at my age. You've got me thinking about death. And wondering about where you are now. Before all this happened, I was still a kid. Now I'm not.

I wish I knew what to do with myself.

~ JiYong

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Daesung,

How could you do this?! To us, to Big Bang -- and how about your fans? Did you think of that when you pulled that trigger? Apparently not, since you're dead and you left us to deal with your problems. I can't believe you did that. You just ruined everything we've worked for! Everything! We've gone through so much sress and trouble as Big Bang, and you have just ruined everything we've built from that. It's all come crashing on our heads and it's all your fault! Big Bang probably won't continue because of you. Is that what you wanted? Huh? Thanks for nothing, Kang Daesung. Thanks so much.

And what's funny is that we could've avoided this whole mess if you'd actually come out of your exile and talked to us. Just talked instead of hiding yourself in your room, sulking. I understand you were upset, but why did you have to keep things to yourself? Why did you let yourself be miserable? You only made everyone else miserable with you. What do you think of that? I don't even know why I'm doing this. You're dead and nothing will change that. I am so angry with you, Daesung, I don't even know what to do with myself.

Killing yourself is such a cowardly thing to do to get out of your problems. It shows that you don't want to deal with life, so you'd rather die. It shows that you can't handle what life throws at you, but instead of trying to make the best of it, you decide to make everyone elses life hell and go to hell yourself. I guess you didn't want to do it the hard way, so you took the easy way out.

I hope you rot down there.

~ Seungri

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Dear Daesung,

How could you do this? Why didn't you come to me? I thought we were close enough that you could come to me with your problems and talk them through. I thought you knew you could trust me to help you. I thought you would always know that I was here for you.

I guess not.

That hurts, Daesung. I wish you'd have thought a little before you did that. Thought about us. Thought about how this would effect Big Bang. Thought about how we would feel. I mean, everything has changed now.

Seungri's just angry at everything. He suggested we disband, which I might agree with. He yells at the drop of a hat. He and JiYong even had a fistfight! He's fidgety and sullen all the time, and I don't think he's going to be the maknae we all know again any time soon. He doesn't joke around or play pranks at all. You wouldn't recognize him, Daesung.

I've caught JiYong just staring into space a few times. I don't think he knews what to do now. As leader, this must be so much more stressful for him, as people expect him to lead and do the right thing. He hasn't cried at all, which kind of worries me. He seems to be trying to be strong for everyone else, but I know it's only a matter of time before he breaks also, and when he does, it will be much harder than anyone of us will realize.

Young-bae was the one who found you. He's the most fragile of all of us, before, and now especially. Since that day, he's barely spoken to anyone. He doesn't take active participation in anything. He's distant and spacey, much like you were before the . . . end. I'm scared he'll do what you did. I don't think we would be able to handle that. We're barely holding together now.

And me? I don't know. I just feel hurt that you could do such a thing. I don't want Big Bang to end. I thought you'd pull through.

I guess I was wrong.

~ Seunghyun

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Dear Daesung,

My only question. How? How on earth could you do this? To me, to Seungri, to JiYong, to Seunghyun? What on earth posessed you to pick up that gun, point it at your head, and pull the trigger?

I guess I'll never know.

Just like I'll never see you again. I'll never hear you stop a fight with a joke. Never watch you sing and dance without a care in the world. Never see you smile like nothing was wrong. Well, I haven't seen your smile for a few months anyway, but I always knew it would make an appearance again, eventually. Now it won't.

I keep expecting to see you. I turn a corner and I think I'll bump into you like I always did, with you smiling like always, offering up a million excuses and apologies. But when the corner is empty, I feel like I lost you all over again.

Daesung, I've been talking to you in my head. I hear your voice talking to me. But it's not the same because I know it's not real. I know it's just my voice altered in my head to sound like yours.

I wish you could come back, Daesung-ah, even for just one day.

But I know that's not possible.

~ Young-bae

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Phew! Those letters took me two days to write. I hope they came out okay, and I really hope I got their emotions right.

Let me know if you like them!

=) Aiko