Lu Fei An came back home on Sunday evening and found the house was surrounded with unusual silence. She guessed nobody was there but she found Yixing was sleeping in the room and, Luhan locked himself in the store room.

“Luhan?” Fei An called, she tried to open the door but it was locked from inside. “Are you doing something?” She waited for an answer but she heard nothing.

“I’m back for a while and I’ll go back to the orphanage later. I’m going to cook too, would you like to help me?” Fei An put her right ear on the door and waited for an answer.   She gave  couples of knocks on the wooden door. 

“Are you busy?”

Fei An waited for a second. It looked like it took forever for Fei An to get an answer from the latter.

“It’s fine then, I’ll do it by myself.”

 She turned around, decided to leave but suddenly, she heard a loud thud from inside.

“Luhan?!” She came back and knocked the door again. “Open the door! What are you doing in there?”

Luhan did not know what to do. He was crying badly and frustrated. He knew he could not hide this forever from his mother. “Luhan!” He stared at the door as her mother kept calling for him. Automatically, his hand finally reached for the door knob and slowly turned it until he heard the click sound. Fei An quickly pushed the door as the door leaf slightly opened. “Luhan?!”

Lu Fei An found her son was sitting on the floor. His face was ugly with the tear strings on his face. She never saw her son like this. “L-Luhan?”

“Mom…” Luhan weakly called.

“ My son, what’s happening?” She briskly squatted down so she could have the same level with the latter. She immediately hugged Luhan who was still crying. “Dear, please tell me.” She tried to calm him down but he cried even louder and louder.

“Mom!” He wept. Fei An tried her best to make him stop crying. “What’s on earth happens to you dear, please tell me.”

“Y-yixing, am I- am I even his brother?” Luhan locked his gaze to her mother. He tried to find any answer deep inside her eyes. Lu Fei An was speechless. She was bewildered and all she could do was looking back at her son with her wide eyes. A pang of agony within her stopped Lu Fei An from breathing.

“Yixing, mom…” Luhan gulped the invisible lump in his throat and tried his best to keep talking. He wanted to spit the secret right now; he did not want to keep it anymore.

“Luhan…” Tears fell from her eyes. “I’m… I’m.”  Lu Fei An knew one day Luhan would know about Yixing but not this fast. She felt the time was betraying her.  She already promised that one day she might tell them but not now.

No… This is not…going to happen yet.

“I cannot accept this…” Luhan shook his head. He closed his eyes tightly and tried to erase everything from his head. “Please tell me this is not true…” He whispered. Luhan buried his head into his palms. Fei An fell on the floor and completely sat on it as her legs could not support her body anymore. Her palms still rested on Luhan’s shoulders.  

All she could do was staring at her precious son and he was hurt… because of her. She never thought that Luhan would be this hurt. His eyes told her everything. She was the betrayer in this family.

“I…” Fei An failed to utter any word from .

“Yixing… he-” Luhan finally spoke.

“Luhan, he’s still-” Fei An cupped Luhan’s face with both of her hands. She wanted to continue but Luhan completed his sentence.

“He suffers b-brain tumor, mom.” Luhan cut her. He closed his eyes and the tears fell again and again.

“How I can call myself as his brother? I don’t even know that he’s sick.”

The unpredictable truth hurt her heart vehemently. Her brain slowly consumed the uninvited information but somehow it refused to process it.

“W-what?” A word escaped from Fei An’s mouth.

“I should take care of him better.” Luhan shouted. He banged his head on the wall but Lu Fei An stopped him right away and hugged him tightly. This event was too far from her imagination, beyond her expectation. She was here and ready to explain the truth about the adoption but… there was another bad news was waiting for her.

Am I deserved to call myself as a mother?

“What we should do, mom?” Luhan released himself from her hug. “I- I think I should stop from study so y-you don’t have to pay the fee, right? I-I will work. I will make money. Yixing should undergo the operation. I will work hard, mom… I-I promised.”

Lu Fei An was speechless and honestly, she was not ready for the worst.

Brain tumor?

**

Last night was a long night for Luhan and Yixing. Luhan found Yixing was lying on the floor. He brought Yixing into the room and left he slept on the bed. Luhan could only stare at the latter. His face was pale but Luhan did not think much about it. However, he thought of something. He thought about a thing that could tell him more. He went to Yixing’s desk and opened the drawer. Perhaps, there was something in it. He found some empty plastics of painkiller were written on them, some other pills and a diary. He decided to look at it.

Then, he knew since when Yixing was sick and he blamed himself for being so clueless. He should know his changes.

“You shouldn’t do this!” Luhan threw the diary to the wall and he was very disappointed. He heard the front door was opened and within seconds Chanyeol was behind him. With the MRI in his hand, Chanyeol came closer and said; “We cannot leave him like this, Luhan.”

“I…don’t know how to tell my mother.” Luhan turned to look at him.

“Your mom must know about this…” Chanyeol’s eyes were damp with commiseration. He never imagined that this event would be this bad.

“Chanyeol… help me.” Luhan begged. He was very tired and this was too heavy for him. He could not face it alone.

He imagined how hard for Yixing to cope this problem all by himself.

**

Lu Fei An came into the room and went closer toward Yixing who was still sleeping. Luhan followed from behind. Fei An sat on the bed and cupped Yixing’s face with her left hand. Her hand trembled when it touched the cold skin of him. Luhan was finally able to control himself from his emotion turmoil. He waited for his mother to speak up . Fei An called Luhan, “Don’t worry. Yixing will be fine, I promised.” She cared Luhan’s hair.

Instead of telling that to her son, she actually was speaking to herself.  She forced herself to believe that everything would be fine and she would try her best to settle this problem. She knew this would be difficult but for the sake of her sons. She needed to be strong.

I’m strong. I can handle this! Lu Fei An!