Should’ve Done It Properly

My Badass Baby

IM BAAACK~
hurhur. sorry for the wait guys ><
i've been trying to improve my writing and stuff.
my friend WhiteAsian has been helping me with this chapter
so credit to her for her awesome writing skills
AND DONT FORGET TO CHECK OUT HER STUFF.
SHE IS A REALLY, REALLY GOOD WRITER.
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It was exactly 5 o’clock in the afternoon as Kim Myunggoon and his family stepped into the large plane hanger. The old man surveyed his surroundings, taking in every visible feature of the closed space.

 

“So you’ve come then have you old man?” Hyujoon’s voice echoed in the steel hanger.

“Let’s just end this miserable idiocy Hyujoon.” Myunggoon ignored his question altogether. “I’ve grown sick of your senseless games. Come out and fight like a man!” he yelled.

“Tch, corny.” Hyujoon scoffed, appearing in front of him from out of the shadows towards the back of the hanger on the level above. Jiyoung sat on a lounge chair, completely bound up and unconscious. “Only what’s to be expected of a senile old hag like yourself.”

“You can expect a lot more than a senile old hag, boy. At least I was raised on proper morals, unlike your useless father.” He shot back.

“DON'T BRING MY FATHER INTO THIS.” Hyujoon screamed in anger.

“I WOULD HAVE SAID THE SAME ABOUT MY GRANDDAUGHTER, BUT IT’S A BIT LATE FOR THAT NOW ISN’T IT?” Myunggoon roared back. “TAKE HIM DOWN!”

 

And so, an epic fight scene ensued. The Kim family was by far more skilled. Each man was more than capable of winning in a 4 on 1 fight, but for every Kim that was there, there was probably nine Kwons. Myunggoon fought with by more traditional means, with swords and their fists, but the Kwons were probably loaded with enough guns for each of them to have at least two. It was a lost battle for the Kims. Within twenty minutes, half of them were down for good, a few were dead and everyone was beyond exhausted.

 

However, all of a sudden, a massive mob of people flooded into the hanger. BIGBANG, SHINee and Beast had gathered all of their friends and about 120 highschool and college student aged guys (and girls) poured into the hanger.
Myunggoon stared at TOP in disbelief.
“Seunghyun? What are you doing? How did you find out?” he asked.

All of BIGBANG, Beast and SHINee pointed to Kikwang.
“My uncle can’t keep a secret alright?!” he huffed angrily.
Myunggoon huffed back, but didn't object to their presence. “Remind me to blow up his car.” He grumbled angrily.
The three groups stared at the old man for a second before coming to a unanimous agreement.
“So that’s where Sunghee got her violent side from.”
“Enough with the chitchat. Let’s kick some !” Junhyung yelled, running forward to punch a Kwon in the face.

 

Meanwhile back on the upper level of the hanger, Hyujoon was sitting there calmly with Jiyoung’s head in his lap, stoking his hair gently, watching as the two families fought.

 “You have no idea how much work it took to get rid of that stupid girl that you’re in love with. I don't even know why you find her so interesting.” He mused to the unconscious boy in his lap. “Never mind that now since she’s dead.” He sighed. “You have no idea how much I’ve missed you, my son.” He said in a half whisper.

“I’m not your son.” Was the raspy reply before he felt his face snap to the side after socking a hard punch from Jiyoung’s bound hands. Now, let me just explain something. Hyujoon was a weak man. He never had physical strength to fight anyone. The only reason why he could keep his ‘family’ going was because he had inherited it from his own father.

“Did you just hit me?” he asked in outrage, looking up to the now very conscious Jiyoung who was standing above him.

“What the have you done with Sunghee?” he snarled through his teeth.

Hyujoon stared at him in disbelief for a second, before scoffing and turning away to watch the fight going on, on the ground level.

 

Back on the main floor, the Kims, with the added help the highschool gangs, were slowly overpowering the Kwons. Their presence increased their numbers to about 200 people and they were almost level number-wise. BIGBANG’s had about 20 friendly gangs that would do anything and everything to help out the one that they considered the most respected gang leader. Sunghee didn’t know, obviously, being the oblivious type when it comes to compliments and such, but it didn’t change the fact that it practically made her a mafia lord.

Suddenly, a loud gunshot sounded, silencing the fighting on the floor of the hanger.

“You can fight all you want, but it won't bring back that stupid little girl.” He announced.

“What do you mean by that?” Taemin asked, voicing everyone’s question.

“I mean, she’s dead.” He laughed manically.

 

Taemin stared at the man. His stomach dropped and he felt like throwing up.

“D-dead?” he repeated.
Hyujoon couldn’t reply because of his own crazy laughter.
The 16year old was glued to where he was standing, unable to pick himself up while the rest of the highschoolers went absolutely crazy. They started rioting with so much anger that they pretty much knocked over every Kwon left standing and then ran up to the top level of the hanger where Hyujoon was.

 

Unfortunately, they were stopped as soon as they got there.

“Not another step.” Hyujoon growled viciously, almost like an animal would.

Jiyoung was curled up against a wall, clutching his head in pain and Hyujoon had a gun pointed directly at the boy’s head.

The teenagers obviously had absolutely no idea what to do at this point. Being only in highschool or just graduated, none of them knew how to use a gun, or what to do when in put in a gunpoint situation.

“Move back.” Hyujoon barked again.

Not wanting to leave their friend, the teens stood their ground.
Unhappy with the response, Hyujoon shot the ground beside his son as a warning.

“I won’t miss next time.” He warned them again.

The faces of his friends paled, clearly nervous, but they held their ground.
So to give them that last push, he shot his son in the side.

 

Jiyoung screamed in pain and curled up tighter into a ball, arms clutching his side desperately as the pain shot through his body. The other school kids retreated down the stairs in fear, their eyes glinting from the lower level as they watched the exchange between father and son.

“Why?” The older man heard the pain and despair in his son’s voice and had to suppress a grin. He was winning this battle.

“An unwilling heir is a useless heir.” He didn’t spare his son glance as he easily dismissed his relevance from the life he brought him to.

“Then you might as well kill me. There’s nothing for me to live for anyway.” He growled hoarsely, glaring at the back of his father’s head, rage consuming him.

The figures downstairs froze; they had heard him words. All eyes were on the pair; it seemed the world was holding its breath as a father would decide if he would kill his son

 

Hyujoon looked down on him, derision clear in his expression.

“Okay.”
He raised his gun, the cold metal pressing into the boy’s forehead.

Jiyoung closed his eyes, taking a deep breath as he readied himself for whatever lay after this life.

 

Another loud gunshot rung through the hanger and everyone’s hearts sunk into the ground. Jiyoung was dead.

 

Or so they thought. The shot wasn’t from his gun at all. It had been fired from behind him and hit the ground next to Hyujoon’s foot. He spun around to face the source of the noise and was shocked to see what he did.

 

Hyujoon was standing opposite to the girl that he had sworn he saw die in front of his own eyes. It didn't make sense. A bullet went through her chest. Although she was only barely standing and she had blood all over her, she shouldn’t have been alive. How did she even get out of that locked room anyway?

 

“You…” Hyujoon started. “I killed you.”

Sunghee looked at him incredulously. "Killed me?" she repeated. She threw her head back and laughed. The sound echoed around the bare room; the assembled masses felt the hair raise on the back of their necks.

“Then you should have done it properly.” She rasped, her breathing ragged as she raised her own gun and shot him in the upper torso.

 

He collapsed instantly. Shivers racked his body, his limbs spasming and convulsing as the pain from his wound spread through his body. A whimper escaped his lips, but it went un-noticed by the crowd.

They rushed to aid Jiyoung and Sunghee, both of who were teetering on the edge of consciousness.

 

“Noona!” Taemin rushed to aid the wounded girl, wrapping his arm around her in a futile attempt to keep her upright.

“Noona! Can you hear me?” he felt tears sting his eyes as he watched her face pale and her breathing become shallower.

He felt her move in his arms; he realized she was trying to take a step forward.

“I’ll…” She stopped for a moment, breathing heavily, eyes closed.

“Be… fine.” She grunted in effort as she tried to stand, taking a shaky step away from Taemin.

“Noona…”

“Taemin, I’ll be fine, I just need a bit of sleep” She half grinned, looking over her shoulder at Taemin.

She stumbled. It seemed to Taemin that she fell in slow motion, her body curving in a graceful arch as she plunged to the ground. He lunged forward to catch her, arms secured around her waist.

He stiffened; he could feel a warm, hot liquid seeping from her chest and onto his arms. He felt like he wanted to throw up; his Sunghee, his noona, bleeding.

She pushed away from him again, muttering that she was fine.

“Noona! Stop saying that! Don’t you see all this blood? You’re dying!” Taemin felt himself becoming hysterical; he knew the other members of SHINee were trying to talk to her as well, but he could barely feel their presence. All he could see was the broken, bleeding form of his noona, pulling away from him in her time of need.

“It’s just a little cut Taemin…”

“KIM SUNGHEE!” Taemin’s voice shot through the air; Sunghee stopped in her tracks, staring at him. He was shaking, tears building in his eyes.

“Just stop with the cool act! Do you really think that it’s gonna work at a time like this?” He gestured around him, despairing.

“Please, Noona… stop…” Sunghee half smiled, turning to face him fully.

 

She had almost opened , about to say something, when a shot rang harsh in the air. Taemin felt his throat close up as, for the second time that night, he saw Sunghee collapse.

He reached out on instinct to catch her, cradling the motionless girl to his chest.

“Should have done it properly, stupid little .”

 

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so.. Sunghee's back. sorta.
im not sure what's going to happen next so you guys have to decide for me
comment what you think should happen
byebye for now
and sorry that i've been updating slowly ><

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Comments

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fefedove
#1
congrats~~~
minkiji #2
Also in regards to my comment below/previous comment I meant *to and *scene. Sorry writing from my phone is a bit difficult.
minkiji #3
Chapter 1: Nice start. It was interesting and yo say the least got me reading and interested for the next chapter. However if I could add a criticism or two/three. I would say that some of the story was a bit clichéd. Such as how you described the fighting scenes. And the last bit with her drinking the boba tea. Also you tend to repeat a lot of stuff when it is already implied. Such as again with the fight scenes or when she was in class and she introduced herself. A more specific example is when you describe the scene and then say this is how he/she felt. That's not necessary if you describe the scene well (which you did) you shouldn't have to say directly how they were feeling. The reader would/should know by the description. One last criticism is that you tend to add character descriptions too directly into the story. Which breaks up the flow of your story and makes it a bit rocky. Again if you describe the sceme or a characters actions well enough you don't have to outright state that he's a bad or a great friend or whatever the case may be. As the saying goes, "show don't tell". In any case the chapter was good, besides the above criticisms. Your writing was good overall and the storyline is interesting.
elliptical #4
congrats x
Passing_Fancy
#5
Chapter 19: Wow. Just wow. I think this is the best fanfic I've read since I started reading these things. Not kidding.

Loved it! It was awesome. :) Poor Taemin, though. :( I was really shipping him and SungHee for a while. Oh well.

Great job! :D
Passing_Fancy
#6
Chapter 19: Wow. Just wow. I think this is the best fanfic I've read since I started reading these things. Not kidding.

Loved it! It was awesome. :) Poor Taemin, though. :( I was really shipping him and SungHee for a while. Oh well.

Great job! :D
Passing_Fancy
#7
Chapter 19: Wow. Just wow. I think this is the best fanfic I've read since I started reading these things. Not kidding.

Loved it! It was awesome. :) Poor Taemin, though. :( I was really shipping him and SungHee for a while. Oh well.

Great job! :D
nomnomninja
#8
Chapter 19: OUEGRSDFOHILNERTSGD
I'M NOT EVEN THE FIRST COMMENT. OMG, I CAN'T TELL YOU HOW GOOD THIS IS! ROSIE WOULD BE PROUD. PERFECT ENDING.
CREYS
THIS IS WHAT YOU CAN ONLY CONVEY THROUGH TYPE AND NOT OVER CHIPS.

OMG.

TAE BB, OEHRGNSDJKOHEIRNGFOHERGFPHELRDFCPVIJLPOKLSDXOCJIBIFDJSAPSOALKMPWIO

WAS THAT GOOD?
MEOW.
dominikki
#9
Chapter 19: Wow, that was so good!!
Reading this story has been such fun! Thank you for writing something so great :)
WatashinoOrenji #10
Chapter 18: THIS.IS.AN.AWESOME.STORY! It's too good that i almost cry. ;D