A Single Selfish Action

Both Taeyeon and Joonmyeon were silent for the next few minutes as they went about preparing dinner.

Taeyeon’s eyes were burning with regret, not knowing that this boy hadn’t known about Hyesung’s other life, the life she tried to live outside of the red-light district. The life that was slowly becoming better as she continued to live.

“I’m sorry.”

Joonmyeon looked over to Taeyeon, who refused to look at him, instead focusing on the ramen in front of her. She bit her lip.

“I didn’t know… that you didn’t know.”

He turned back to his task of making fresh orange juice. “That her name is actually Nam Hyesung and not Sunhwa?” he mused softly, slicing another orange in half. “I’m not angry. I’m just… confused. And a little disappointed.” He sighed, placing the knife down on the cutting board and rubbing his forehead, feeling a headache coming on.

Taeyeon snuck a glance at him. “Maybe… you should talk to her,” suggested the older woman. Joonmyeon looked at her in surprise. “I mean… if you just talk about it with her, she’s sure to respond,” Taeyeon continued. “She wouldn’t just brush you off. That’s not like her.”

Joonmyeon managed a nod, picking the knife up once more to cut another orange in half and juice it.

And silence fell once more.

“Who died?” a voice playfully asked.

Both figures turned to see Hyesung, standing there nervously, peering up at Joonmyeon. Joonmyeon just stared right back. Looking between the two, Taeyeon noticed the tension. She quietly slipped out, taking the bowls full of soup that she’d prepared with her.

The tension slowly thickened as the silence continued.

Finally, Joonmyeon spoke, his voice barely above a whisper. “You heard.”

“Every word,” she agreed, just as quietly. There was another silence, this one shorter, more tense.

He finally looked away from her, eyes on the counter. “You lied to me… Hyesung.” Hurt crossed her face as her smile completely vanished. “I came here to see someone who’d always told me the truth. You told me everything that I wanted to hear, I came here to hear words like that again. But your friend,” he spat, “unmasked your lie. God, I’m so stupid. No one in this entire damn world tells the truth.” Hyesung’s mouth opened to say something, but Joonmyeon continued, “First I find out that my ex-girlfriend lied to me for three years, now I find out about you? Is there even one girl who tells the truth anymore? You couldn’t trust me enough to just tell me that Sunhwa wasn’t even your real name? I told you. I told you my name. You could’ve told me yours instead of lying about it.”

It wasn’t even anger that he was feeling running through his veins as fast as his blood pumped through them – it was disappointment.

She took a deep, shuddering breath, biting her lip. “Joonmyeon, I… I didn’t lie. There’s just… things I haven’t told you.” He frowned. “Sunhwa is another person. She’s everything I wish I could be, confident and unafraid of anything, even of those bastards that treated me like . Even the bastards that I trusted not to hurt me, but then just left me behind when they were finished. How was I supposed to know you wouldn’t do the same? Sunhwa protected me from that hurt.”

A huge wave of guilt mixed with sympathy crashed over Joonmyeon.

At that moment, he wanted nothing more than to reach out and take her in his arms and apologize for his words only moments before. He understood now. Hyesung had become Sunhwa in order to protect herself. She just wanted to defend herself against the people who would take advantage of her for the way she lived. And the reason she hadn’t told him was that he hadn’t earned her trust. Not fully, not enough to know her real name.

To Joonmyeon, a name was a title. But to Hyesung, a name was a mask, something to hide her true identity away from the world.

“You don’t have to say anything else,” he said, not wanting her to feel bad.

But she said one more thing, one thing that broke his heart.

“I’m sorry I lied to you, Joonmyeon.”

He could feel his control breaking. His hands twitched with the urge to hug her, hold her tightly. “Don’t be,” he choked out instead. “You don’t have to be sorry about anything. I understand… Hyesung.”

She looked back up at him with a small smile that lifted his heart. That small curve of her lips made him smile as well. It felt like everything was right again. “Thank you, Joonmyeon.”

“Okay, if you two are done being sappy, dinner is ready!” Taeyeon practically shrieked from the other room.

The gaze between the two broke, causing them both to flush, Joonmyeon’s color more obvious than Hyesung’s.

She bit her lip slightly and said, “Well, we should go eat. We can talk about what’s bothering you over some food. Sound good?” Joonmyeon nodded and followed her out of the kitchen, to the room where a dining table sat behind a couch.

Taeyeon was sitting at the table, tapping her foot impatiently. “You two sure took your damn time! Hyesung, if you were kissing, I am so telling Changmin, then damn, will he come down hard on both of you!”

With a scoff, Hyesung, voice dripping with sarcasm, shot back, “Then I suppose it’s a good thing we weren’t.” Taeyeon rolled her eyes while Joonmyeon looked on in confusion, his gaze dar