“We need gas,” was the first thing that Aron said after the very, very, very long silence that followed.

“I have money,” Minhyun told Aron.

“Where did you get money?” Aron asked.

“Sihyun,” Minhyun answered hesitantly, “he left money in the gas hinge thing.”

Aron nodded and took an exit, driving towards a gas station.

Minhyun couldn’t stand the atmosphere between them. He wanted to do something to make everything get back to normal. But what could he do to make it better? Crack a joke? Pretend everything was the same as it had always been? Confront him about the confession?

When Aron stopped to the car to at the gas station, Minhyun told Aron he’d be right back. He went into the service shop and bought coffee and donuts with the money that Sihyun had given him. He hoped that food and coffee would lighten things up just a little bit.

He paid the gas boy and handed Aron a cup of coffee and a donut, trying his best to smile when he did it. Minhyun realized that he just looked like an idiot that was trying too hard to overcome the awkwardness.

Aron thanked Minhyun by bowing his head and taking the cup. He drank one sip before starting the car to move again.

“We have about half an hour left,” Aron announced.

“I’m glad,” Minhyun responded.

“Me too.”

“You should park for a bit, just to finish drinking your coffee,” Minhyun suggested, and Aron nodded as he parked the car in a designated parking space.

Minhyun soon regretted his suggestion, because now that Aron wasn’t driving, he was doing nothing and so it meant that they needed to talk.

After taking two bites from his donut and a couple of sips of coffee, Aron put them to the side and suddenly grabbed Minhyun’s hands.

Minhyun’s eyes, which had been avoiding Aron for the longest time since the confession, fluttered towards him.

“Minhyun, I hate what my confession amounted to. I don’t know what I expected, but I didn’t see this awkwardness between us coming. I’m really stupid, forgive me.”

“You don’t need to apologize for anything,” Minhyun said, smiling reassuringly. “Let’s just act normally, please?”

Aron nodded.

Still, Minhyun was restless about Aron’s request to ‘think about it,’ and he was nervous about the fact that Aron expected a response. And so, to reassure himself, he asked, “just so I know, when do you expect me to reply? To your confession?”

“If it makes things easier, I don’t want you to reply at all,” Aron told him with a restrained shrug.

Minhyun blinked and nodded, but there was something about how Aron said it that didn’t put Minhyun at ease. He wished that Aron had just said, “don’t reply at all,” and not this very vague and conditional statement. If it makes things easier. How would Minhyun know if it makes things easier? What the hell was Aron even referring to when he’s talking about things getting easier? It felt to Minhyun that Aron said it with a spangle of hope that Minhyun would feel the same way about him after “thinking about it.”

To seal off the conversation, Minhyun put his arms around Aron and hugged him, saying, “I like you a lot, hyung. You’re like the older brother I never had. You do so much for me, and I’m glad I have you in my life.” Minhyun hoped that this was an adequate enough response to the confession.

When they pulled away, Minhyun saw a hint of dejection in Aron’s expression, the expression someone would wear after being friend-zoned. It weighed heavily on Minhyun’s conscious that he was the purpose of Aron’s unhappiness.

Trying to make it better for him, Minhyun kissed Aron’s left cheek and sat back in his seat.

Aron immediately went to sip more of his coffee. “The coffee ,” Aron told Minhyun, obviously in an attempt to return back to normal.

“It’s gas station coffee, what did you expect?” Minhyun laughed.

“Also, my deodorant gave off ages ago, so I’m sweating a lot. When we get to your house in Busan, don’t you dare tell me to shower before I sleep in your bed! Got it?”

Minhyun laughed and nodded, “you can be covered in mud and I’d still not make you shower before sleeping, hyung.”

“What if I was covered in elephant poop?” Aron asked, making a funny face.

Minhyun shrugged, “you know I love elephants.”

“What about monkey poop?”

Minhyun laughed again and shook his head. He was glad that Aron was acting like his silly self again. “Go eat your donut before I do,” Minhyun said, and Aron took another bite.

“So, how are you going to surprise your parents?” Aron asked Minhyun as he sipped his coffee.

“I’m just going to barge into my mom’s room and hug her and then spend as much time with her as possible,” Minhyun told Aron, “I hope she gets better.”

“She will, Minhyun,” Aron said reassuringly, “when she sees you, she’ll smile and she’ll forget about her pain. That’s how I felt when I was in the hospital and you came to visit. You have that effect on people.”

If Aron had said that statement before he confessed, he would have felt so flattered and happy. Now, the words made Minhyun feel sad and guilty.

“Thank you,” Minhyun said with a restrained smile.

“Take my word for it. When you’re sick and you see someone you love visit you, you feel instantly better. A hundred times better. And you heal faster. Your mom will probably heal while you’re there.”

“I hope so,” Minhyun said crossing his fingers, but unable to get rid of that guilty feeling. Aron put the coffee in the car’s cup holder, finished the last of his donut, and started the car again.

As Aron drove, Minhyun tried to keep him awake by talking to him. It was relieving for Minhyun that they got over the awkwardness so quickly. Things seemed to go back to normal mostly.

But sometimes, Aron would say something, and Minhyun would interpret it differently than how he would have interpreted it had it been said before Minhyun was aware of Aron’s feelings.

Maybe Minhyun was just overthinking as usual, though somehow he didn’t think so. Minhyun didn’t exactly know how love felt, but he has listened to enough love songs to understand that it’s a big deal. That it can be painful. That sometimes it's all you can think about every second of every day. He understood that Aron was probably feeling terrible and heartbroken on the inside, that what just happened was a huge deal for Aron. It felt selfish for Minhyun to just brush it off and forget about it.

Although they were acting normally, Minhyun realized that things would never be the same.