The awkward silence went on for far too long. So long that Aron had decided to preoccupy himself and start driving. What was Minhyun supposed to say? How was he supposed to say anything with his jaw hung open and the thoughts in his head all confused. How? Minhyun wanted to say something and react somehow, but no words fell from his lips as he tried to articulate an appropriate response.

It took far too long for Minhyun to finally think of something to say, “Hyung,” Minhyun called out, “this is a joke right?”

Somehow, Minhyun wished that it were a joke. It would be much easier to react to it if it were a joke.

“No, Minhyun. It’s not a joke,” Aron said, his eyes on the road.

And it sounded serious. Usually, When Aron would tell a joke, he isn’t able to keep his composure for more than a few seconds. He would have burst into a fit of laughter by now had it been a joke. But he wasn’t bursting. Or even smiling. On the contrary, he had a blank expression, which is strange for Aron.

Aron likes me? It was hard to process this information in the instant. He had always seen Aron as a good friend, and he had always just assumed that Aron thought that way about him as well.

“How long have you…” Minhyun began hesitantly.

“Two years. I basically fell for you a few months after I met you.”

Minhyun recounted the past few years and tried to put them in perspective. So all of the times that Aron performed the excessive fanservice, he wasn’t really doing it for the fans. He remembered everything that Aron had done for him in the past. He remembered how Aron had gotten him a bigger present during Christmas then all of the other members. Or how Aron had written him an overly cheesy letter during his birthday. Or how Aron would complain when he sleeps beside every other member, but not complain when he sleeps beside him. It all clicked in Minhyun’s head, and he felt so stupid for not seeing it before.

Aron wasn’t exactly subtle.

A few minutes of silence passed as Minhyun processed the information. He then found himself wondering: “Why are you telling me this now?” Minhyun asked. He was genuinely curious as to why Aron would confess in that moment. It wasn’t the right moment no matter how you look it. They weren’t really on the best of terms; they were in a car, tired and hungry. Plus, Minhyun had revealed that he would never date a boy ever.

“I was delirious when I decided to confess to you, I guess. The lack of sleep was getting to my head,” Aron said with a shrug, “but it was about time I let you know. That’s part of the reason I agreed to take you on this trip. To be alone with you and have the oppurtunity to tell you.”

Minhyun shrugged his shoulder, “I don’t know what to say right now.”

“But I do,” Aron said, his eyes focused on the road, “Minhyun, I’m not expecting you to tell me that you like me back because I know you don’t. I just needed to let you know because I’ve been bottling it up for so long and because your naivety had been driving me insane. I want you to know.”

“Why though?” Minhyun asked

“Why do you think? Why do people let others know that they like them?”

“But…”

“Think about it. Please,” Aron sputtered desperately, startling Minhyun. “Okay, I’m sorry, that wasn’t how I wanted to say it,” Aron said, looking suddenly nervous, clutching the wheel tighter, “look, remember your promise? I drove you to Busan, and in return you said you’d do anything for me. I want you to just think about it. And I don’t want the answer immediately. Take as long as you need. Days. Weeks. Months. Just please don’t answer immediately.”

“Okay,” Minhyun said softly.

A silence ensued.

Minhyun used that silence to “think about it.” What was there to think about? Minhyun knew how he felt about Aron, and it certainly wasn’t the same way Aron felt about him. He tired imagining being with Aron like that… the way he wanted be with the girls he’d crushed on. Kissing him, holding his hand, waking up beside him every day, going on dates with him.

No matter how he looked at it, that was certainly not how he wanted to be with Aron.

The fact he was so certain he that he didn’t want to be that way was quite disconcerting for Minhyun, because he knew that it would disappoint Aron. Somehow, he wanted to want be that way with Aron. He dreaded the prospect of breaking his hyung’s heart.

If Minhyun had been in a bad mood before, he was in a terrible mood now.