Saturday

Mission failed

Great! Tao had never thought things would turn out like this. He thought that he'd feel free and happy after the meeting, but he was everything but happy. On the contrary, he felt awful and guilty to say the least. After he left the Wu's mansion, he couldn't help but run to his best friend for help. He really needed to pour out his heart and misery to someone and who was better than Sehun himself? Luckily, the other was easy to find and free to listen to his rants. And even though the other had showed him sympathy, he still felt awful and not comforted at all. 

"Tao, don't worry too much. I am sure Kris would understand. He just needs some more time," Sehun said.

"I don't think so. Not after his... outburst," Tao muttered more to himself than Sehun. He was feeling utterly miserable.

He was currently lying down on the couch with a brown pillow wrapped in his arms, squeezing the poor thing as hard as he could. His troubled thoughts hadn't left him ever since he left the Wu's mansion and now he was afraid it was going to hunt him forever. Oh dear, he hoped that would not happen. What was he to do now? Thinking about the way he'd treated them... Tao heaved out a tired sigh. Great, the guilt had already started to eat him inside and he was afraid that he'd continue to have that feeling for a while. Maybe he should call the other and talk to the other again?

"My father is so going to kill me," Tao grunted in annoyance.

"In that case, I volunteer to bury your body," Sehun replied.

"Oh, shut up Sehun!," 

And Sehun had, once again, managed to make Tao feel a little less bad. Sehun always knew what to say to cheer him up. The boy just knew when to say what. 

"Come on, let's have ice cream. You'll feel better," Sehun gave Tao a not so friendly pat on the thigh, almost earning a kick from Tao in the process, before getting up and going to the kitchen.

After a good fifteen minutes of having vanilla ice cream Tao felt less sad and was ready to head back home even though Sehun offered to let the other stay for another day, but Tao declined politely. He really didn't want to bother the other anymore and couldn't stay at Sehun's house forever. For once, he had to fix things up himself. Tao assured the other that he would be alright and just needed a little bit more time for himself. Tao didn't lie when he said he needed some more time for himself, but he did about him feeling alright, because he clearly wasn't. He still felt the guilt eating his intestines. 

"Why do I have to feel this? I thought I'd be happy... but I am not...," Tao said to no one in particular.

He sighed for the umpteenth time as he sagged down on a nearby bench. Tao had somehow ended up at a nearby park without him noticing. He figured he really needed to clear his mind before deciding his next step. Closing his eyes, Tao tried to focus on clearing his mind and block out everything going around him. It really didn't take him that long to block out every sound around him. He had been trained to do that since he was a young lad.

His mind went back to the very first time he met Kris Wu. The way the other had treated him and actually decided they'd both approved of each other without him knowing what was going on in the beginning. He had thought it was supposed to be meant for Sehun, but alas it wasn't. But strange enough, he had secretly wished to see or meet the other some other time and fate or maybe destiny was kind enough to bring them back together. Even though the other had been rude and demanding, Tao adapted to the other. And not to forget that... smile. That perfect smile. That smile which made his legs feel all jelly and almost couldn't stand straight. How could the other be so perfect? How Tao wished that everything was the truth.

Tao frowned unconsciously, but never made moves to open his now closed eyes. He remembered the few dates they went to and remembered the way the other had accompanied him. Even though the other had made him feel annoyed from time to time, in the end the other had succeeded to make him feel better afterwards. The other had shown that he was loved and cared for. Something he had never actually felt aside from Sehun and his mother. And then everything just replayed itself till the moment he had been in the living-room with Wu family. But somehow, somewhere in the memories, Tao found himself smiling at Kris' way of taking care of him. Tao felt different. The other may not have used many words to show his care towards him, but the other had done it with his actions. The other had showed him affection. Tao had felt great back then and suddenly he missed the other's presence. He really wanted the feeling back, but it was all crushed the moment he learned the truth.

He wondered why things had to turn out like this. It could've been perfect for both of them if it were under different circumstances. But now, he didn't know anymore. It hurt. A lot. Was he already starting to miss the other? Suddenly he was asking himself if he was going to be able to live without the other. He really didn't want to be dramatic or anything, but the sudden realization hitting him, made him wonder if things will be better without Kris. Sure he didn't know the other that long. They have, after all, just met each other by accident and they didn't start on the right foot to begin with. But, they managed to get along, along the way...

Tao shifted in his seat as he opened his eyes. What time was it anyway? How long had he been staying at the park? Glancing at his watch, Tao realized it was already getting late and dark and he'd better leave and go home. Shuddering involuntarily, Tao realized he was suddenly freezing and hoped he was not going to get sick. The cold wind was cutting through his flesh and he almost went numb from the cold. Hurrying his way back to his house, Tao sighed in relief when he stepped into his cozy, warm home and decided to take a long, hot bath and make himself some warm dinner to eat. He'll deal with his troubled thoughts later and just wished to have some relaxing time for himself.

His old grandfather clock almost struck 9 and Tao had yet to start thinking what his next step was going to be. He'd lost his job, thanks to the other, and he wasn't sure his ex-boss was going to be happy to take him back. Tao could almost imagine how Kris must have scared the out of his now ex-boss and thought it would have been funny if he were there to witness the show, but sadly it was not a laughing matter. He could ask Baekhyun to help him out, though, but he really didn't want to bother the other. Baekhyun had his own problems to solve anyway.

He was so immersed in his thoughts, he jumped slightly upon hearing his cellphone going off. Without looking at the caller id, Tao picked up his phone and was surprised to find the least person he'd been expecting on the other end of the line. 

"Tao,"

Tao scrambled up from his lying position when he suddenly heard the familiar voice. What the hell was the other doing calling him? He thought he'd cut all ties with the other, including phone calls. What was he going to say to the other? Or what did the other want to say to him? Racking his brains to try and come up with something, which he failed miserably, Tao then decided to just give up and listen to whatever the other had to say to him. Why wouldn't his mind work when he wanted it to? Curse himself for that. 

"Can we talk?," 

"Uhm... I thought... we're done talking...," Tao brought out carefully.

"I know... but there's more you might not have known... Just give me a chance to explain," 

Tao could hear the desperate plea in those words and the soft spot in his body couldn't hold back anymore and he agreed to the other in the end. How come he was that weak? He couldn't give a proper explanation to that. Must be just his personality. After the call, Tao realized he was going to have to face the other again. Not that he was scared of the other, but because he was not sure if he'd be able to send the other away and continue to live on with his normal life. His life way before he met the other.

It didn't take long for the other to arrive at his house and before Tao knew it, he was once again, alone, with the other in one place, surrounded in a tense atmosphere. None of the two was ready to break the silence. It was as if one was waiting for the other to say something and daren't interrupt. A good five minutes passed by in a excruciating slow pace.

Tao couldn't help but glance at the other from time to time while waiting for the other to start with the 'talk'. And before he knew it, he was checking out the other. The other was very tall. And his side profile was perfect... just like a model. Tao envied the other and wished he was blessed with the same proportions. How would it feel to have the y skin touch his own? It looked smooth and very much appealing to Tao and his fingers itched to touch the velvet skin. If...

He smacked himself mentally. What the hell was he thinking about?! Here the other was for a serious talk and Tao found himself checking out the other. He couldn't believe he was going crazy by the minute. Trying to take his eyes off the other, Tao tried to focus on something else instead. At which he failed miserably. But, seriously he really didn't mean to and deeply wished the other could just say whatever the other wanted to say and leave him be. Tao wasn't sure if he was going to be able to bear with the other now so close to him. He felt himself getting warmer by the minute. Why did it seem like the walls were closing around him? He almost felt suffocated and felt like he was locked up in prison. This was not good and he had to do something about it, if he wanted to survive.

"Ahem... I-I... you... wanted to tell... me something?,"

Tao decided to break the silence instead and waited for the other to answer. For a moment, he felt ignored by the other for no answer was given immediately. When he was about to say something again, Kris beat him to it.

"This is not only because of a ... from my mom," Kris said.

"Uh... err... what do you mean?," Tao looked at the other questioningly.

"Your dad must have told you his side of the story,"

Tao nodded slowly. Where was the other going with his words? Tao wondered. Kris heaved a sigh as he turned to look at Tao. 

"This is hard... I am seriously going crazy here. Ahem, you see... your dad is a great person and he is a good friend of my father. He loves my mom dearly and mom really wanted a second child. Your dad happened to have stepped into my father's life maybe at the wrong time and yet at the right time. Fortunately or unfortunately, in your eyes, you were the sacrifice for the whole thing. Because my mom had taken a liking to your parents and made your dad promise to let us two get married...,"

"Yeah, dad told me that, so?,"

"So! My mother would have a second child to give her love and your father would get equal amount of share of stock when both our companies merge in one," Tao's eyes widened in surprise. He didn't know about the last part. "But...," Before he could say anything, Kris had already continued with his story. "My dad wanted to help your father very much, but with a prize of course. And seeing that your father thought that having you betrothed to me wasn't a bad thing, he'd agreed. And if you cancel this... wedding... your father is going to lose everything and I am going to lose everything I've built through all those years,"

"This whole thing is about business benefit!," Tao exclaimed. "Don't you understand what I've been trying to tell you? I don't want this. I don't want to marry because I have to save my dad's company and what not. I am sure my father can find-,"

"Did you know what I had to go through? Did you know how much pain I'd to bear through my whole life? Che. I don't even know if I am doing it for my father's company or for myself," Kris' calm voice raised an octave higher. He was getting slightly angry within the minute.

"I don't understand anymore," Tao said confused. He couldn't comprehend what the other was trying to tell him. What did that have to do with him?

"Look, it really sounds crazy and all and to benefit both of the companies, we have to sacrifice our own freedom of choice. And I understand you are angry and all, but can't you do this for your parents? For me?,"

Tao hesitated. He was trying to follow what the other was saying. He really was. But-

"You guys are rich. I am sure you can find someone else... someone better?," Tao offered meekly.

"Tch. You think it's that easy? Let me tell you a little story then. My father is a really strict man. He'd... once been an affectionate, heart warming and loving man... but... somewhere in time, he'd turned to be a cold and harsh person. I don't even know if I still see him as my dad anymore," Kris gave a chortled snort. "Heck, I don't even call him 'dad' anymore. Not after he'd made us go through the hell of a training to become a brilliant entrepeneur. Your father entering the scene had been a great catch and that led us to he very present, you and me. This whole thing I've worked for all these years... mean a lot to me... and I don't want to lose it. Even if it means to agree with whatever my father has planned for me,"

Tao's eyes widened in surprise and suddenly felt bad for the other. He didn't know why, but he just felt like he wanted to stretch out his arms and comfort the taller one. He had never known the other was this vulnerable. The other had always been commanding and somewhat obnoxious and rude and stoic self, but this Kris, who was sitting next to him on his couch, in his living-room, in his house, had just revealed his innerself. Something the other had bottled up for probably years and on the verge of breaking down. Tao swallowed the sudden lump which had formed in his throat.

"I don't want my hard work go wasted like this. Please, understand that and... I... I've actually came to... be fond of you. Why not give it a try? Give us a chance?," Kris said.

Even though Tao felt bad for the other, he couldn't agree to wed the other. He really couldn't. Tao had never liked to be forced to do something. And this was one of them included. After the confession, Tao already found out the other harbored no feelings for him and he couldn't live with someone purely because of materialistic reasons. The other may be fond of him, but that was not enough for him. He needed the other to love him, just like he'd recently found out that he loved the other back. If not, then he couldn't agree, not even over his dead body.

"I'm sorry. I really can't help you. I... just... please... do understand... I... you don't want to do this. I am sure you don't want to live with someone who you don't love," Tao said not looking at the other at all. He couldn't help it. He didn't want to see that broken look in the other's eyes.

"Wh-what?,"

"You are doing this because of your... share of the company or whatsoever... I understand... but I am not one to want to be with someone who doesn't feel the same as I do... I don't want to be hurt and I don't want you to be hurt too," Tao explained carefully leaving the other stunned without words.

For the first time in Kris' life, he felt as if he had lost everything. Never had he felt that painful, not even those punishments. Why did it hurt? Why did the words coming from the other hurt him that much? He had been rejected countless times and made himself immune to these feelings and yet, this ordinary boy managed to make him feel pain. Real pain. It was hard for him to digest those words the moment Tao had said them.

He was confused. He was lost. He was frustrated. He was left abandoned by the other and for once in his life, Kris had felt himself feeling miserable. He had left Tao's house after the talk and the last words kept on repeating in his head. Hurt? The other didn't want him to be hurt, but he was already hurting. Didn't the other see that? 

That night, Kris couldn't fall asleep. His mind was too occupied by the other. Flashes of their talk repeated from time to time, almost making him go berserk. Why did it effect him that much? Never had he experienced such thing, not even when he had to go overseas to represent his company in the annual gathering of introducing new companies. Why was thinking about the other make him feel lonely? What did the other do to make him feel like that? He was sure that night wasn't the first time he'd felt different. He'd felt the unknown and inexplicable feelings before. He just wasn't sure when and where it started.

He heaved a sigh as he rolled back onto his back and admired the ceiling in his room. It's almost midnight and sleep just wouldn't come and Kris groaned in frustration. Since when had he left his guard down? Such thing wouldn't and shouldn't have any effect on him and yet it did. Was he really in love with Tao? 

Thinking back about the time he'd spent with the other, Kris suddenly missed the other's presence. He missed feeling the other's touch or rather him touching the other. What had happened between them? What brought them together? Besides them both being betrothed to each other. There must have been something, something much stronger which tied both him and Tao together. 

"You are in love,"

Luhan's words echoed in his head. Kris' eyes widened in horror. He was in love! LOVE! How could that be? Kris Wu... THE Kris Wu... in love? Was he going insane? He got up from his lying position as he raked a hand through his already tousled hair. He was sure he was not going to get any shut eye that night. Groaning in frustration, Kris grabbed his pillow and threw it on the floor as if doing that would help him relieve some stress. It didn't help at all. 

"This is going the be the worst night ever," Kris groaned out loud.

----------------------

A/N:

AAAAAAAAAAAhhhhhhhhhhhhh... 170+ subscribers and 3000+ views O_O...wow.. didn't actually think there is going to be a lot of people who are anticipating this story of mine and exactly curious to take a peek. But nonetheless, I am very happy and would like to give them a warm welcome. Welcome my dearest readers! Thank you for being patient and hope you guys like this story.

I am truly sorry for updating this late. Please, do accept my humble apologies, because I had writer's block and many other things I had to do in my PL. Please, do understand that. Thank you very much.

Anyone who has anything to say to me, feel free to comment below in the box and I will try as hard as I can to reply every comment. I hope this chappie didn't confuse you guys, because I have been typing without actually proofreading the whole chappie. To be honest, I feel like there is such a strain somewhere, but I can't pinpoint where. Maybe because I don't see my ship sailing through the EXO shows and feel like my muse has abandoned me. :( Please, my Taoris ship, please come back and don't sink and leave me behind!! T_T

Ahem, please do comment and upvote. New subbies are very much welcome :DDDD