*a few months ago*

“Nichan…do love only exist between man and women??” asked Nichkhun all of the sudden to his brother when they were having dinner. Nichan just look at his brother with a confused look. “What?” “Love…If a person falling in love with someone he shouldn’t with…what should he do?” asked Nichkhun with his eyes still on the plate. “Someone they shouldn’t? Like their family were against it? Different status?” asked Nichan.

“Not only family, but their friends, the society, the world..everyone were against it.. but he cannot just denied the feeling. What should he do?” “Nichkhun, do you have any problem? You know you can always share it me,” said Nichan gently. Nichkhun slowly lifted his head and look at his beloved brother. He is very close with his brother ever since they were kids. He can trust his brother with anything, heck, he trust his brother more than he trust his parents.

“There is a boy. He like..no, he loves me and I have been taking advantages of his feeling towards me. I have treating him badly but he still there for me. Fulfilling me needs, taking care of me,” said Nichkhun slowly as if he is whispering. Nichan put down his knife and fork and turned his attention fully to his brother.

“Taking advantages? What have you done to him,Khun?” “I took away his dignity……” “Khun…..what did you do?” Nichan was scared to hear what to come. “I force him to sleep with me…repeatedly,” answered Nichkhun, feeling so small in front of his brother. Nichan was shocked to hear that. He never thought Nichkhun would ever be capable of doing something like that.

“Khun! What is wrong with you? You shouldn’t be playing with people heart like that!” Nichan cannot control his disappointment to his little brother. “I know…I know. At first I just want to do it for fun but then…I start to feel different. Instead of doing it for fun, I do it because I need it. I slept with him because I need him…I need to be with him….I don’t know what’s happening with me,” said Nichkhun, shaking his head.

“Do you like him?” asked Nichan seriously. “What if I say yes? Will you be disgusted at me?” Nichan just sighed and looked at his brother. “Khun, I am your brother. You know I support whatever is good for you and if this boy gives you happiness then…” Nichan words were cut by Nichkhun. “I cannot be with him…never.” “You like him but you don’t want to be with him? Why?” Nichan was confused by Nichkhun words.

“Maybe this is ok with you but what about mom and dad? What all the people out there? How will they react when a boy fell in love with a boy?” “If you love this boy then why do you care so much about what people think? About mom and dad, they love you just like I am. I am sure they will understand.” “I can’t…I can’t.. It’s not normal.. It is wrong,” whispered Nichkhun, trying to convince himself.

“If you think like that then stop playing with the boy’s heart. Let him go. What you’re doing to him is wrong Khun..You’re torturing him,” advised Nichan. “My heart hurt when he is away from me……” confessed Nichkhun. Nichan frown deepened. “You don’t want to let him go but you didn’t want to confess your feeling to him. That is wrong Khun… Don’t do that.. thing will get worse in future if you keep doing this. It is not good to play with people heart, it will come back at you,” spoke Nichan gently, leaving Nichkhun alone at the dining table to think.

*end of flashback*

Nichan just looked at his brother that is now sobbing in the bed. He doesn’t look like the usual cold and strong Nichkhun. His brother looks so weak. He must have been holding his tears for a long time. Nichan want to say “I’ve told you so,” but he didn’t have the heart to say it, considering how sad his brother is. He feels sorry for his brother although in this case, it’s his brother fault. Nichkhun is not a bad guy. He is just a guy that fall in love for the first time in his life and since his love is different from anyone else, he didn’t know how to handle it. He decided to give Nichkhun sometime alone.

Three hours later, he went back inside Nichkhun’s room and was worried to find that his brother is nowhere inside the room. “Khun! Khun!” He heard the sound of the shower running. He slowly open the bathroom door and felt his heart broke when he saw Nichkhun is sitting fully clothed under the running shower, his back on the cold wall, staring into spaces. Nichan quickly turned off the shower and kneeled beside Nichkhun.

“Khun, don’t be like this. Let’s go and change your clothes into something warm. You’re going to get sick if you continue to be like this.” “I deserve this. I tortured his feelings, I treat him like a trash. It makes sense that he left me,” said Nichkhun, laughing to himself. Nichan sighed heavily. “Come on, let’s get you out from this wet clothes. You need to get some sleep,” said Nichan as he pulled Nichkhun from the floor. Nichkhun just followed everything Nichan told him to do and now he is lying down on his bed, hoping to get some sleep.

*Jang Wooyoung house*

Wooyoung is on his balcony, trying to have some fresh air to wash away all the feeling in his heart right now but the cold breeze failed to calm his emotion. Wooyoung knew he should be feeling good right now because after so long, he finally stood up for himself. But deep inside, he cannot forget the look that Nichkhun gave him earlier that day when he told him that he didn’t want to do it anymore.

It is like the look of betrayal. “Did Nichkhun think I am betraying my feeling to him because of Taecyeon?” thought Wooyoung. Wooyoung just sighed deeply. “Stop thinking about him Wooyoung. He didn’t care about you. You are just his toy. Forget about him,” mumbled Wooyoung to himself. “Stop joking to yourself Wooyoung. You will always love him, no matter what he did to you,” whispered Wooyoung.

*the next day*

Wooyoung went to school with one wish. He wishes not to bump into Nichkhun and he will avoid the latter at all cost because he is afraid that he will change his decision once he saw Nichkhun. Wooyoung was relieved as he managed to slip into his class with seeing Nichkhun or any of his friends. “So far so good Wooyoung! Fighting!” cheered Wooyoung in his heart.

“Hi Youngie!” Wooyoung smiled when he saw Taecyeon when he was on his way to the cafeteria. “Hi Taec,” replied Wooyoung with a s