Luhan and I are alone and there are no sudden violent impulses that urge me to fracture his face. Instead I want to hug him because he looks miserably empty and broken. 

“Minami, I like you and I’m sorry for ignoring you.”  Luhan shouts and then lowers his head to avoid the look of my displeased face. It’s not that he’s confessing his crush on me or that he has only know me for five hours, none of that matters. What gets on my nerve is that he hasn’t bothered to remember my name. 

“Sorry, I don’t-”  His laugh cuts in and not for once do I believe he’s fine. It’s impossible, and all I see is a child crying in a girls shoulder. So I wrap my arms around his body. His body that jumps at the touch of another, at the touch of warmth. And here in my arms I see the boy that I once cherished and cultivated feeling for. 

“I don’t, It’s just you look like her and you sound like her and I can’t help but want to hold on to the memories. It won’t last long so please just let me be.” His voice weavers and it’s like he’s trying really hard not to cry and the bite on his tongue is of no help. 

I can’t do anything so I remain in silence.  The feeling resting on my chest is heavy but not unpleasant. And it bothers me to know that I find some comfort, some nostalgia in the smell of his hair, his arms that are loose and his silent cries. It’s as if I been there, as if there once was just me and him and Nicole didn’t exist. Laughter and the sound of a swing swaying in the distance as the two of us held hands to go down the slide. The memorie is vague and I can’t tell a truth from a lie. 

“You OK.” goosebumps crawl all over my body. Kris' voice interrupts whatever it is that me and Luhan are sharing.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Thanks kiddo.” Luhan pulls from the hug and pets my head. 

I stand still. Kris doesn’t question our positions or comments on the oddness of our closeness, he just swings his arm around Luhan’s neck and the two laugh. It’s as if the previous minutes have never taken place. I observe the two then rush to their side, “Don’t leave me.” 

Amber and Tani are right where we last left of, in a air hockey match. We split into teams and have one on one matches. Although I enjoy everyones company my vision drifts to Luhan, who is clearly  over begging me to stay a while longer with him at the back of the store. I try to not mind his presence but once in a while our eyes meet and I can visible see the residue of dry tears on his red cheeks. I’ve stared for so long that I can tell when his paranoid, his eyebrows straighten and his forehead wrinkles.   It takes me a bit to long for me to stop staring because Amber is on to me. 

“What’s with you staring at Luhan. You on to him. Man Nicole won’t like this but I never really shipped them their like brother and sister. Gross.”  Amber keeps talking and talking on reasons why is wrong and how Nicole is impulsive when it comes to Luhan. 

“I don’t, he just looks like someone I know.” Technically I’ m not lying but I’m not telling the truth either. I hate Luhan and that’s how its always gonna be and yeah he showed me the lonely side of him but that does not mean I will forgive him. Uh, he got my name wrong. How is that possible it’s not even hard, anyone can remember it. Mina, who is Minami. 

“Who’s Minami?” And before I can stop myself I spoke out loud. 

“Oh, Minami. I don’t really know much about her other then that she was Luhan’s childhood friend and that Luhan blames himself for something that happened to her. I don’t know much but it’s something he’s very sensitive about. If you want to be friends with him I recommend you don’t talk about her around him. Why do you want to know? 

“He said I looked like her. Did this girl have pink hair when she was little or something. He’s weird.” I try to look at the item shop and point at the stuff animals as a way to shift the conversation but Amber is quite dense and doesn’t get the sign.

“It could be because your Japanese. She was Japanese too.” 

It’s true that I was born in Japan but I don’t remember much about my childhood. It probably wasn’t that great, that would explain why I don’t have memories before six years old. It was weird traveling to Japan and understanding what everyone was saying. It was also funny watching Minho plead for me to help him.  He picked it up after two years of living in Japan but I still joke about a child giving him directions to the store.  I do remember Luhan being Chinese and most certainly not Japanese unless my mom dropped me when I was a baby. 

“Did he live in Japan?!” He couldn’t but still it doesn’t hurt to ask. There was no way, that would mean that this Luhan is the wrong Luhan or perhaps it’s his twin brother. 

“No, she moved to Korea so thats how they meet.” I’m relieved to know that my hatred has been delivered to the correct person and not some poor stranger.

I take a stuffed frog from the shelf and hand the cashier the tickets. It’s cute and small and Amber thinks it’s ugly but I love it. I’m gonna name it Paru.

“That’s so ugly, why didn’t you get the llama.” Amber whines. 

“If you want a llama so bad why don’t you by it.” 

“I already have three llamas and my sister would kill me if brought another one home. She’s so mean, llamas and I are family. Only if I was older.” Amber sounds a little delusional.And as we board Kris’s car she continuous to talk about how great llamas are and why everyone should have one as a pet. It’s pure nonsense and she gets a kick out of seeing my face all blown up but I still think she’s drunk out of her mind. No one drank. I don’t even think Amber likes the taste of beer. She probably drinks apple juice and pretends to be drunk. 

When I get home Sehun is the first to freak out and act like my mother. He touches my arm to check that I’m fine then turns to give Kris a stern glare. “You sir are not aloud to take her without my permission.” 

No!

Very displeased with his accusation I pull Sehun to my height and hiss at him that the guy he’s talking to is Kris. His neck jerks back inhumanly and he laughs like a lunatic, “on second thought she needs to socialize more. Look at her pathetic fragile frame, please take care of her.” 

What is this!

Kris is trying very hard not to laugh. Sehun closses the door and walks up to his room. I rush to the window and watch as Kris throws his head back in laughter. Uh, he’s so handsome. 

Author: Sorry for the short update. My friends birthday came up and I was one of the dancers for the cotillion and I'm graduating this monday so that's why I been bussy. Thanks for worrying about me, hope you guys like the update.