Chapter 4  Dedicated to ►Jia_Alrik

School is hell and everyone is trying to survive the upcoming diploma exams. I’m barely home and I always forget to pack my lunch. Sehun tries to play matchmaker even tough Minho tells him that he isn’t interested in dating. There are no calls from S.M entertainment. Kris is off limits. 

Actually nothing is as bad as finding out that Luhan is the captain of the football team and that he is still handsome. People all my life have told me that pretty kids grow up to be ugly and cute kids grow up to looks like models. Not true. 

I hate how he smiles. His laugh. His voice. Everything about Luhan irritates me and it irks me to know that I have to respect him. He greets me and extends his arm for me to grasp and shake.

“Mina, nice to meet you.”  I keep my tone low. 

The whole “I’m giving you my attention” doesn’t last for long and soon he is running to another girl, a brunette.

I laugh at the sight and wonder how Ironic it would be if that was Nicole waving at Luhan. I hate her too. Not really, I just don’t like that jerk. 

The bell rings and I hurry to my math class. I try to pay attention but I’m on my nerves, bouncing on the chair. My seat mate stays quiet and proceeds to ignore me over the practice questions. Once in a while she taps me and tells me that I’m distracting her by shaking the table. I apologize and ask her if she wants to complete the rest of the questions together. She hesitates at first then agrees.

Hanna, my seat mate is very talkative. I would not have guessed since she always listens to music and hangs her head low, shoulders relaxed. Asking her if she can recommend any musical groups results in her singing, inhuman noises of a fan girl, and uncoordinated hand movements. 

I laugh then cry and continue to watch exo-showtime. I’m hooked and we end up being the last to leave the classroom, the questions long forgotten. 

Once I get home I tell Sehun about Hanna. He approves of her, serves my food, poses for my art, kisses me on the cheek and would have helped me with physics but Kai calls him. He shushes me and places a hand over his heart. I stare at him weirdly. 

“Yeah, that's great. I’ll see you there then. Bye.”  Sehun hangs up and screams at the top of his lungs. 

I cover my ears and wait for him to tell me the details. His breathing picks up and he is slurring his words but he’s comprehensible. I listen as the corner of my lips curve up. 

“So is it a date?” I ask.

“I hope it is.” Sehun says with dreamy eyes. His face is red so he slaps his cheeks, a way to tell himself to not let his thoughts get out control.

“Enough about me, how are you with that boy?”

Sehun is talking about Kris. Personally I want to tell him that things are great and that I touched his shoulder and petted his hair. Except I wasn’t the only being overly touchy. Sehun likes to hear good things, its like he functions on good deeds and romance novels. Kris friend is always there, we can never be alone. She sometimes tries to show that she has a possession over him by wearing his basketball sweater. Oversized and cute on her. I would look homeless. 

“We sit together.” I say and fake yawn. 

“That's my girl.”

I rub my eyes vigorously and wait for Sehun to tell me to go bed. It’s not that I’m a child, its just Sehun won’t let  things go easy unless its time to go to sleep. He values sleep and food over everything. 

“You should sleep early today, you been studying none stop. Okay.” 

“Okay.”

I plan on studying but end up falling asleep. 

I can’t tell if my dream is a nightmare or a girls dream come true. Kris and I are getting married, Exo is seated at the front alongside my family. Its so perfect. And just before the ring is on my finger I yank my hand and run to someone else.  

Its an odd dream that slowly morphs into something else. I’m in a car race, riding a cloud as a vehicle. From there on things just get weirder and weirder. 

There is nock a on my door and the soft voice of a women, “Miss, please weak up. Breakfast is prepared.”  

I turn on my bed and wait to hear her footsteps retrieve from the door. I lay in bed, staring at the ceiling, empty minded. My mind is blank, the white wall settles my heavy heart.  I push myself  to sit down, grab the cup of water and swallow the pills. I’m in new medication, six pills in the morning and night. My breath stinks. I have to brush my teeth twice in order to not taste the chemicals that eat at my cholesterol.  

I wear my uniform and stare at myself on the mirror, my back arches, my arms are long and unattractive. I usually pose and send flying kisses to the mirror and on very wonderful days I flip my hair. I try to do this every time and for most of the time it works and others I feel ridiculous and ugly. Today, I just wonder why I bother with trying to be beautiful, to have a slender and curvy body. I’ve gone nuts.

I give my self a last look and walk out the bathroom. 

I eat, enraged with myself. Perhaps I’m in my period. 

Minho hugs me, Sehun lands a kiss on my forehead, and the two tell me to come home early. 

Kris is seating beside Tani, his head is resting on his arms and he’s staring at her with admiration. Their not official but everyone in the schools seems to agree on their not single status. 

“Hi guys.” I say and take a seat away from them. Enough space to let my eyes roam the room on a piece of artwork instead of the closeness between the two. My heart is decelerating, hurting each pump and at nine in the morning I tell myself not to cry. 

“Why are you so far, sit closer.” Kris taps the chair beside him. Two pair of eyes stare at me.

“I’m fine, you guys are partners and I need to focus. I’ll take a seat later.” I open my sketchbook and  pretend to have something in mind other than trying to get as far away from the two lovers as possible.

I don’t take a seat like I said I would. I stay quiet and listen to sad music and when that gets me too emotional I listen to anime openings. Which  happens to  be outright depressing or hysterical, there is no middle ground. So here I am on YouTube listening to howls moving castle original soundtrack. 

The bell rings and I drag myself to pack slowly in order to be the last to leave. Trying my best to avoid Kris.  

“Hey” 

I’m startled and out of reflexes I jump and drop everything on my hands.

“Sorry, I  was wondering if you wanted to walk together to the next class. We have classes beside each other. I'm not stalking you or anything. I happen to see you the other day. Uh, let me help you.”  Kris says as he grabs the textbooks from my hand and starts to lead me. He pushes he’s way and the crowd of students part for him. 

He looks really good from the back.

His pace is too fast and people keep walking in front of me. “Kris,” I shout for him to stop or at least understand that I’m stuck. Kris does stop. He locks eyes with me and strides towards me. I stand still anticipating his next move. He brings his hand to rest on my back, guiding me. My face is hot and its hard to stop myself from liking the feel of our contact. 

“Thanks” I almost choke on my own words. 

“No problem. Just push your way trough. Okay.” Kris waves at me then disappears into his physics class.

Ladydream: So I'm back. I will be updating more frequently but they will be short around 2 thousand words or less. Im sorry for the long wait, I just didn't feel comfortable with my writting and im trying to improve. (read my work and cried) This story will follow the original plot and I'll try to update once a week. Thank you.