He had been offered to go to America. They said his dancing was beautiful. They said he was beautiful. Should he leave? Should he go away from the people who called him everything but beautiful? Because they said he was. These ones said he wasn’t.

Was he being petty to even consider that? Was he ungrateful that he wanted to leave everything behind? Everything that he had worked so hard for…everything that they all had worked so hard for.

 Super junior.

Eunhyuk.

This was his whole life.

This was what he had always hoped to be. But at what cost? His happiness? His peace of mind? The trust of his trusted ones?

Hyukjae didn’t know what to do anymore. The feeling that he wanted to run away and hide, was eating him alive, more and more, day by day. It consumed him and it fueled him.

It hollowed him. It left him empty and void.

~~

“Hyukjae hyung! Wait up!” Siwon called as he ran after Eunhyuk who was moving fast towards their waiting vehicles. They had just finished their Super Junior schedules and Siwon had just returned from his own solo schedules of drama shooting. He had heard from a sulking, pouting Donghae that Hyukjae was different and that he would lock himself up in his room or disappear at odd hours of the night whenever Donghae went around to find him when he wouldn’t sleep.

He had tried calling Hyukjae but there was never a response and the messages he sent were left unanswered. Siwon, for the first time ever probably, realized how sad it was to feel rejected by someone he considered his best friend and the press conference would come back to haunt him every time this happened. He shouldn’t have said that. He shouldn’t have been so stupid.

“Hyung. Me and Donghae want to go out for some Jigae, wanna come? My treat.” Siwon asked; his tone light, a stark difference from his rigid and hopeful expression.

“No Siwon-ah. You guys go. I think I should rest. I’m kinda tired.”

“Come on hyung. It will be just for a little while. We won’t take long and we haven’t had anything to eat yet and we haven’t caught up in ages!”

“No. I will eat something at home. Don’t feel like going out. And we saw each other just last week Siwon.”

“But that was for schedules! Hyung come on. I won’t take no for an answer.” Siwon said as he pulled the reluctant Hyukjae with him towards his own car. He