A/N – Im not entirely satisfied but I don’t feel like changing right now because I’ve been hearing bad news upon bad news T.T Hope you like it though

Eunhyuk cringed on the inside while smiling on the outside. Again another ugly incident. Another MC thinking that it was a wonderful topic to start with. They were at their anniversary fan-meet and Hyukjae won’t deny that it did not hurt because it still stung like a . He could feel the elation that he had felt when he had seen all those Jewel banners and Super Junior banners, slip away the moment the MC had started this portion ‘game’ session.

Of course he would be chosen as leader of the Ugly team. Of course.

Why was he even surprised?

Why does he even bother thinking that things would perhaps change?

Why does he even allow such an occurrence to hurt him?

Eunhyuk held on. He held on tight to his emotions, willing himself to think about the moment he was told he was going to debut or the moment he had fans cheering for him but it somehow swelled up the turmoil of emotions in his body even more. He wanted to leave. He wanted to shout out to them and tell them to stop…just stop.

~~~

Kyuhyun took a glance at Eunhyuk standing a few meters away, yes Eunhyuk. He stood there, desperately suppressing the Hyukjae that perhaps wanted to cry, desperately suppressing the urge to maybe run away. He could see him eyeing the corners of the stage where the exits were hidden in the darkness, away from the blinding lights of the stage lights trained on them…yet he still found it in himself to smile and laugh at the other members. No one would know that Hyukjae was hurting inside from the way the older was laughing along with everyone else.

They had gotten much better since that night that he had confessed his feelings. The members had had many times sat down to talk and not only to Hyukjae but to each other despite the tight schedules and the lack of sleep. Hyukjae had slowly but surely found himself again. He had found his smile again.

But that doesn’t mean that he couldn’t lose it again either.

And Kyuhyun knew that he would always stand beside the man, being whatever Hyukjae needed in that moment. Be it a friend, a shoulder to lean on or someone to vent on…or just someone to love him that way he deserved, the way he needed to be loved…Kyuhyun would be all of that and more because Hyukjae was everything to him.

And maybe that need to be the man Hyukjae needed, Kyuhyun found himself ignoring the fans shouting or the other members playing around as he looked in Eunhyuk’s direction, gesturing to pick him. He would be in that team. He wanted to be in that team. And even though Eunhyuk still picked Yesung first, he still smiled discreetly at the still too thin man. The fans screamed in protest when Eunhyuk chose him next and he could clearly hear some yelling ‘Kyuhyun is handsome’ but Kyuhyun cared nothing of that, he was more than willing to be next to him and without a protest, he walked to the other side of the stage where Eunhyuk was, all the while doing a cute display of being surprised at being picked…even though he wasn’t at all. He just wanted to be next to Eunhyuk, to Hyukjae…because being with the man made him feel beautiful too…because he already felt ugly for being one of the ones to hurt him so deeply before. He could never forgive himself for that.

Even though it seemed that they had passed the dark clouds that that topic had cast upon the group, he knew better. He knew that they would perhaps never fully be able to get rid of the shadows they had triggered in Hyukjae and even though the man seemed happier and more carefree, moments like this proved Kyuhyun’s suspicions right. Hyukjae will always be scared by this…by them…by the word Ugly.

And Kyuhyun will forever try to make Hyukjae understand how beautiful he truly was to him.

And perhaps in his need for Hyukjae to be immersed in his love for him, Kyuhyun sometimes finds himself losing control. Just like now as they passed the blue piece of paper lip to lip. He didn’t know when he started reaching out to Hyukjae, fingers tentatively touching the slim man in front of him. He didn’t know when he felt his hands automatically came out of his pockets where he