“Wait!” Kyuhyun abruptly gets up as everyone hugs Hyukjae one last time before going to their own rooms or to other dorm, “…Wait”

“I…I have something more to say.”

“It doesn’t matter if any of you guys stay or not but I have something to say to Hyukjae hyung…to Hyukjae.” Kyuhyun articulated as he looked straight into the swollen red eyes of his hyung, his precious beloved hyung.

“I want to ask you something,” Kyuhyun muttered as he stood still in his spot, hands clenching and then unclenching to wipe the sweaty palms on the rough material of his jeans, “Have you ever looked at yourself? Really looked at yourself in the mirror?”

The member gasped and clamored, all in offense and some in protest. Kyuhyun spied from the corner of his eye, Heechul taking slow unsure steps walking back from the doorway, an angry yet confused frown on his pretty face, “Have you seen how beautiful…how…how perfect you are?”

Silence

“You don’t need us to tell you that you’re beautiful, you don’t need anyone to tell you how ing beautiful you are! You…you are the most imperfectly perfect person I have ever met in my whole life and you can bet Choco that I’ve seen quite a lot of people! You…you hyung….you are handsome…and..and adorable…and so damn perfect that I can’t even say how much you mean to me.”

“I- I just…I-” Kyuhyun suddenly stopped and surged forward grabbing Hyukjae’s head in between his palms, clutching it tightly while forcefully making Hyukjae look at him. He swooped down and locked Hyukjae’s lips in a searing kiss, bruising his lips as teeth clashed painfully against each other.

There was nothing romantic about this kiss. It held nothing but Kyuhyun’s desperate attempt to make Hyukjae listen to him, to make him understand.

“W-What are you doing?” Hyukjae asked, eyes watery and lips red and swollen as he panted again Kyuhyun’s strong grip.

“Something I should have done a long time ago,” was the only answer he received before his lips were taken in a harsh kiss once again. Kyuhyun kissed him like a thirsty man who had floundered his whole life in the dessert and had just found his oasis and Hyukjae could do nothing but let him kiss him. He understood that Kyuhyun would probably regret it later and it was stupid of him if he pinned his hopes on something like this…that the handsome Kyuhyun would ever…love him.

He just probably wanted to make him feel better.

Hyukjae didn’t realize when the tears started falling again. He didn’t even feel when Kyuhyun moved back after tasting saltiness within the kiss. He was grieving, crying for the maknae who was trying to comfort him but doing it the wrong way. Kyuhyun didn’t love him…he couldn’t love him…shouldn’t love him. He wasn’t good enough for him.

“Stop it!” Hyukjae startled when he heard the harsh command. His eyes flew open as he stared at the man in front of him, eyes stern but full of something Hyukjae couldn’t really decipher. “Just stop it! Stop doubting yourself. Stop doubting me.”

Almond blinked, tears yet still seeping out from the lashes in little drops of diamond. Hyukjae breathed in, shaking with emotion and head and heart in turmoil, “Why?”

“Why?”

“Why me? Why do you love me? I’m ugly-” Hyukjae flinches at the frown marring Kyuhyun’s face and at the way Kyuhyun grits his teeth and his hands tighten its grip on his face at the word as though it is a taboo, “Okay maybe not ugly…but I’m not handsome either. I’m…I’m just me. I’m just Hyukjae, aren’t I?”

This time, the hands holding his head in a vise grip loosened and palms caressed the red cheeks while thumbs wiped away the runaway tears, “Why is there air?”

“Hm?”

“What holds up the Sun? Why is there a moon? Why does this universe exist? Why us?” Almond eyes blinked, confusion swirling in its depths

“Because it just is. Just like that…It just exists. Why love exists and why love loves the one it loves…it cannot be explained or described. It’s not in our hands, nor is it because of us…it just is…it exists without reason,” Kyuhyun continues, hands that were caressing the reddened cheeks sliding down, Kyuhyun’s left hand stopping at the jaw, cupping his face and his right hand sliding further down, palm flat over