Chapter 22

Jae

“Oh, Mak-Jae,” Sunggyu says, his face reflecting my surprise. He still seems a little tense when he looks at me. Although I’m surprised to see him, I’m more surprised by how good he looks. He usually looks good so seeing him in all dark clothing and makeup, it makes me feel inadequate. I smile shyly at him, not sure how to react to the situation.

“You know each other?” he asks, we both nod.

“We’re close friends,” I tell him, watching the tense smile on Sunggyu’s face.

“Good!” the director says, and brings us to the set. We’ll be on the couch together, for some unknown reason. So Sunggyu and I spend an hour or so on the couch together with cameras flashing in our faces and recording everything. We have to keep straight faces while looking at each other, which would have been hard any other day. But now, as we sit with my legs over him and his hand buried in my curls, it’s easy to just look at him. I can feel the tenseness when he touches me and when he moves, slowly like we’re supposed to, and the electricity in his eyes as they communicate with me.

I’ve figured out that he’s angry with me. His eyes are slightly guarded when I stare into them, trying hopelessly to have a conversation the way I do with Saela. He just doesn’t want to talk in any form right now, and he’s focused on what we’re doing. And after a couple minutes of it, I’m already unable to think. I only feel him next to me on the couch or underneath me or behind me. I’m really not sure how this is going to be a phone commercial, but I know I’m unfortunately enjoying myself. This is a time when Sunggyu can touch me. He can’t kiss me, but his hands move freely over me.

“This feeling is perfect,” the director says, he almost looks like he’s drooling. It makes me feel a little uncomfortable when I remember people are watching, but Sunggyu’s hands bring me back to an unthinking state of content warmth. Soon they have us both sit on opposite arm rests on the couch, turned away from each other with the phone, and I’m even more confused as to what they’re going for. I just don’t want to be this far away from Sunggyu. Luckily it doesn’t last long and he has us walk toward each other across the room. By now, Sunggyu is loosened up. I’m able to smile at him and get a twitch at the corner of his mouth. So I breathe a relieved sigh for two reasons when the director thanks us for our hard work and we head back towards the dressing room. We separate with a small smile and wave.

“You two must be very good friends,” one of the makeup women ventures and I smile at her, nodding. “I would feel so strange doing that with a man.”

“We’re close so it wasn’t bad,” I repeat as I undress.

“Americans are so much more forward,” one says to another. I’m surprised at what she says and laugh a little to myself. I guess it’s accepting since I’m American, I think, That could be advantageous for me. Even though I’ve never done anything like that in my life… Oh wait, I think about the classroom earlier. Is that not normal? I wonder, This can’t just be an American thing, can it? I return the dress and thank them all for their hard work and help today, Unnie is waiting to take me home.

“Good job,” she smiles at me and puts an arm around my shoulder. “I’m so proud of you!”

“Thanks Eomma,” I tease and she laughs. Sunggyu comes out of his dressing room in front of us and greets Unnie with a short bow.

“Since it’s late and neither of us have eaten,” Sunggyu begins talking to Unnie like I’m not there, “Would it be alright if I took her to get something and then bring her home after?” He speaks so formally that both Unnie and are taken aback.

“Of course,” Unnie says, dropping her arm and pulling her phone out from her purse. “I have to go pick up Saela anyway so I’ll just see you at home, then.” She edges away awkwardly, giving me a look that means I’ll be explaining myself later.

“Unnie,” I say before she leaves. “I love you.” She smiles and waves at me before disappearing around a corner. I realize that I really do have one of the best managers ever. She barely ever gets mad and when she does, we definitely deserve it. She’d been that way since she was assigned to us and I really do love her for it. I turn to Sunggyu, trying not to show him how oddly sentimental that moment was for me. “So where are we going?” I ask him.

“Somewhere,” he shrugs turning to leave. I follow him, wondering why I even asked. I should have known that he wouldn’t tell me. I follow him out of the building, bowing and thanking the staff again one last time. Outside, it’s dark and late. I could smell the darkness before I saw it, and when I stepped outside, it was confirmed. Sunggyu’s quiet for a little, walking next to me with a guarded expression. I watch him more than I watch what’s in front of me, stealing glances at the ground instead of the other way around. He still has on the makeup, but he’s back in his comfortable clothes now. I want to hook my arm in his and snuggle against his soft sweater. Instead, I just look.

“Watch out,” Sunggyu says, putting his arm around my chest and pulling me back so I didn’t run into a pole. His eyes meet mine, and I’m surprised to find sympathy in them. “Look in front of you, Mak-Jae,” he says, ruffling my hair before letting me go. I don’t want him to let go so I stare after him when he continues to walk. “Coming?” he asks and I nod, catching up to him again. He smiles at me sympathetically and continues. He leads me to a restaurant where he’s greeted like a regular. I smile at the people who greet him like friends and follow behind them when Sunggyu pushes me gently ahead of him. Down a narrow hallway, a door opens for us and lets us into a smaller room with one table inside. It has one long table in it with seven chairs set up around it. Sunggyu walks over confidently taking a seat and after hesitating I take the one across from him.

“Why are there so many extra chairs?” I ask, looking around the vacant feeling room.

“We usually come here to celebrate things,” he explains, leaning his elbows on the table and looking across at me. “I felt like I needed to bring you here once at least.” I nod, even though I don’t understand what he means.

“Are you mad?” I ask, avoiding his eyes and playing with the napkin on the table in front of me. “Because I yelled at you?” I hear him chuckle and look up.

“Not because you yelled at me,” he shakes his head and the sympathetic smile returns.

“But you are mad?” I prompt and he nods. I look down again; how am I supposed to respond to that? Is it because I stopped him? I wonder and remember all those things Unnie told me about how I should never talk to trainees because they’re all . But Sunggyu’s not… I think with a hint of uncertainty.

“You probably won’t understand why I’m mad,” he sighs, almost confirming what I think. But then he looks at me with a sad smile and I feel like he’s looking down on me again for being younger. So I narrow my eyes at him. “You always follow the rules,” he says, surprising me. I my head sideways and he laughs. “I always think about breaking the agreement and want to touch you in public, but it seems like you don’t even think about it. I know I’m the one who said it, but I kind of wanted you to break it for me.”

“What?” is all I can asks, completely shocked. “You’re mad because I’m good at pretending?” He nods, smiling sadly still at me across the table.

“It’s starting to annoy me,” he laughs at himself.

“I think about breaking it all the time!” I tell him, unable to not laugh at him. “I’m just a lot better at keeping it under control that you are. You’re the one who doesn’t understand,” I point across the table at him and it’s his turn to be confused. “I had to pretend I didn’t like you since I met you. I had to pretend that I wasn’t just another one of your super fans so that we could be friends. Because I wanted to be your friend so much.” I cover my mouth with a hand after I finish, wondering if I just made all my hard work pointless. Sunggyu laughs, throwing his head back.

“You’re so cute,” he laughs, reaching over to mess up my hair.

“I’m just telling the truth,” I look down again; the napkin becoming an easy object to distract myself with. I’m too embarrassed now to look up at him; I’m sure he thinks I’m weird now.

“Good girl,” he laughs and the waiter comes in. We order, Sunggyu introduces us, and the waiter almost drops his note pad.

“Jae from Butterfly Kisses?” he repeats, his voice much softer than it had been when he was laughing with Sunggyu.

“It’s nice to meet you,” I bow from my seat, smiling at him.

“Can I have you sign this for me?” he asks, holding out the notepad. Sunggyu bursts into laughter.

“You’ve never asked me for my autograph!” he protests, but his friend ignores him and watches me excitedly as I take it from him and sign. He tells me his name as I sign while Sunggyu asks him why he’s freaking out so much. “Oh that’s right,” he says, remembering something and leaning back in his chair with a disapproving look on his face. “You really love girl groups. How did I forget?”

“Hyung!” the guys protests cutely, getting embarrassed. He’d definitely younger than Sunggyu, but I think he’s older than me. “It’s not true,” he says, turning to look at me. “I just love Butterfly Kisses! I’ve always had a thing for American girls-” he stops himself and I let out a small laugh that I was trying to contain.

“Ya,” Sunggyu says, sitting up in his chair. “You can’t have her. She’s too young for you.” His friend holds up his hands in surrender, apparently deciding that he had said enough.

“Then she’s probably too young for you too,” he adds under his breath and Sunggyu glares at him. “What can I get for you, Jae?” he asks, putting on a friendly but still nervous manner. I look at the menu quickly and decide on something safe. Sunggyu orders, sounding a little grumpy, and then my new friend leaves. I laugh when he shuts the door behind him.

“How do you know him?” I ask and Sunggyu frowns. “What?” I ask, taking a drink from my water.

“Don’t tell me you find him attractive,” he says, and I choke on the water. As I try not to spew it all over the place, Sunggyu’s eyes widen. “You do?”

“No!” I choke out, now adding laughter to the list of things I shouldn’t have done while drinking water. “Not at all! I don’t even remember what he looks like anymore!” He regards me carefully and then a smile twitches at the corner of his mouth.

“You have water in your eye lashes,” he tells me and I try to get it out without smearing all the makeup form the commercial. It would be a mess to take off now. I sigh and reach into my bag to drag out my phone to use it as a mirror. “Here,” Sunggyu says standing up and coming over to me. It becomes harder to move when he nears me, his napkin brushing my eyelashes gently. He smiles at me, putting his hand down on the table and leaning over me. “What are you thinking right now?” he says almost in a whisper.

“Do I have to tell the truth?” I ask shyly, looking up at him and only thinking of one thing. He laughs and nods. “What’s going to happen if I don’t?” I ask, sitting as far back in my chair as possible. He smiles mischievously and it gives me a shiver.

“I’ll flick you in the forehead,” he laughs, so I know he’s not serious. That would actually be really bad. I know how hard some people can flick over here. Saela used to practice on me to see if she had gotten any better and I’d learned to run away from it as fast as possible. But his eyes are still smiling a bit, so I think I’m safe.

“I’ll risk it,” I tell him confidently. His smile widens as he raises his arms to my forehead. I cover it quickly with my hands but he grabs them both and pulls them off, holding them both in my lap painfully. “Ow,” I laugh, still trying to escape his grip. “That hurts!” He loosens his grip and I slip out of it, putting my hands back.

“Fine,” he sighs, “You win.” He bends down quickly, kissing my hands that are clamped over my forehead then returns to his seat. I stare after him, hands still there and blush in my cheeks. He laughs at me and starts to tease, but our food comes.

We eat, laughing and trying not to choke on whatever is in our mouth when the other one talks. That was the slowest I had ever eaten anything because I laughed so much. Happy that he wasn’t really angry with me, I thoroughly enjoyed our time together. Alone like that, we never stopped talking. I don’t know how we arrived at some of the topics, but there was never an awkward break in the conversation. I asked him if he understood the point of the commercial we filmed and he shakes his head.

“I just went with it,” he shrugs, “since they were telling me to touch you, I didn’t want to argue with them.” I laugh at him, but I know he’s not joking. He’s finished already and he’s just watching me with a slight ghost of a smile on his face. “You looked really pretty in that dress,” he says, causing me to blush. “Although I’m fairly sure you look good in everything.” His serious tone forces me to laugh; it’s pretty funny coming from someone who can’t possibly look bad.

“That is not true,” I tell him, shaking my head. “That’s definitely you. You had red hair. Not normal red, but bright red. How can any normal person pull that off? And some of the things you’ve had to wear for performances, the bright pastel suits and all, I don’t know one person outside you 7 that makes that look so good.” I realize I’ve said too much, but I got carried away. Saela and I can talk for hours about our favorite groups and we’ve spent hours talking about Infinite.

“You’re an Inspirit aren’t you?” he asks, a laugh in his voice. I nod sheepishly; that was the only fan group I ever officially joined. “I guess it’s ok for me to be a Dragon Fly then, right?” When I only stare at him he laughs. “Did you know I have all of your songs?” He pulls his phone out of his pocket and puts it on the table in front of me. I take it in my hands and look down at the screen. Warmth spreads through me when I look at the playlists. There’s one labeled “Jae and Saela”. I smile up at him, wanting to take a picture of it and to keep it forever. I pull out my phone and show it to him. I’m a little embarrassed though, because I have one labeled “Infinite” and one labeled “Sunggyu”.

“It says ‘Kim Sunggyu’,” I point to it because it’s in English and he nods, laughing.

“Can I keep this?” he asks, and I shake my head, reaching across the table for it. He holds it farther away from me. “You can have mine,” he says, nodding to his that’s on the table. It’s a tempting offer, but I know I couldn’t live without mine.

“I doubt you have as good of a lullaby playlist as I do,” I say as an excuse, holding my hand out still and raising my eyebrows at him.

“I just listen to ‘Dive In’ on repeat,” he says seriously, and I burst out laughing. “What?” he asks, his voice self-conscious. “It’s a good song!”

“Thank you,” I smile across the table at him.

“For what?” he looks confused and I stand up to go over to him. He looks even more confused when I don’t reach for my phone and instead I hug him.

“Just everything,” I say, burying my face in his soft cardigan. I feel him laugh soundlessly and he pulls me into his lap with my legs straddling him.

“I really do like this,” he says honestly, as I frown at him. He hands me back my phone and lets me get off. Just in time because his friend comes back with the bill. He pays and we leave, out the way we came, considerably happier. I want him to hold my hand so bad the whole walk home, but I shove my hands in my pockets to keep myself from taking his. When we both slow our walks in front of Unnie’s, Sunggyu turns to me with a sad smile.

“You really are too good at this,” he steps forward and plants a quick kiss on my forehead. I hold my breath when he does it and release it disappointedly when he steps back. I look at him for a moment, then check all around us. The streets dark, like it should be since it’s so late, and I’m sure there’s no one around.

“Not really,” I smile at him, closing the distance between us and going up on my tip toes to kiss him. He smiles surprised at my sudden confidence, and put his arms around me. He squeezes and picks me up, I laugh and wait for him to put me down again.

“Goodnight Mak-Jae,” he says, letting me go slowly. “Sleep well.” After watching him go, I slip inside and go straight to bed. I turn down the brightness on my phone, then choose the Sunggyu playlist and put it on repeat until I fall asleep. I don’t think that there’s any other sound I’d rather fall asleep and wake up to than Sunggyu’s voice. Even if my phone was almost dead when I woke up, it was so worth it.

           So short one just for now since I realize I never actually updated when I said I would.. Awkward! Sorry! But there will be a double update tonight for sure :) SO Comment, subscribe, junkety junk junk. You already know? Oh ;)

SO while I write the next chapter, have anice Pepsi. And make sure to make either the face Woohyun or Sunggyu makes. It'll birng you over 9,000 years of good luck. Promise.