Chapter 14

Saela

“Thank you for all of your hard work!” Jae and I say, bowing to the people in the recording studio. They’ve been there every day for the past three days, working as quickly as possible to get our mini album recorded to the President’s specified quality and speed. It’s impressive to think we recorded the whole thing in three days, but then seeing as two of the seven songs were already recorded beforehand it feels a little bit less remarkable. Jae had a little hiccup with What You See Is What You Get, but she somehow pulled through with mysterious assistance she has yet to tell me about. I had a problem learning the rapping parts, but practicing them during dance rehearsal always helped.

“That was probably the fasted album I’ve ever recorded,” the musical director sighs and smiles at Jae and I. “I’m glad I got to work with you two. You’re going to go far in this business. I just hope you remember me when that happens.”

“We will,” I assure him and shake his hand. Unnie thanks him after she finishes talking with some of the other people in the studio and then tells us to hurry out to the car.

“We were waiting for you,” I remind her and she huffs at me, realizing I’m right but not acknowledging it as her fault. She starts the car and starts driving before Jae and I are strapped in and we look at each other, deciding whether to not we should be scared for our lives.

“Unnie,” Jae says calmly, “Why are you in such a hurry?”

“We’re going to be late for your auditions,” she says, making a speedy lane change and pissing off all the cars in our immediate vicinity. 

“We still have time,” I tell her and I take a quick glance at the time on my phone. We still have half an hour before the President said to be there.

“You should always be early to your first auditions,” Unnie lectures through her rear view mirror. “You two have to be humble and respectful of everyone there. Everything you ever learned about respectful Korean manners you’ll need to use. You don’t have to be fake about it, but you need to be polite.”

“Of course we’ll do that,” Jae says, she remembers to be polite better than I do. Its more natural for her anyway.

“Anything else?” I ask, laughing and Unnie glares at me, letting me know she’s serious. “Ok, I’ll try not to annoy anyone too much,” I promise, not sure if trying alone is going to do anything. I feel like I end up annoying someone wherever I go. Unnie continues to drive nervously; but nervous driving for her is aggressive driving for anyone else. Jae and I find ourselves holding onto the arm rest and giving each other looks every few minutes. When she finally slides into a parking place, both of us bolt to get out.

“So remember everything I told you,” she says as we walk in, looking around at all the people around us. She’s most likely referring to all of the past lectures and stories she’d ever told us in our lives. Ones that I could never remember gone before she was finished, so I just nod and try to remember what she had just said in the car. Polite, I remind myself as I look around. The amount of people is actually a little bit suffocating, all packed into a big ball-room type space. So many people, all different; some a little too different. Bright colored hair is seen randomly throughout the room; their heads the easiest to pick out. Everyone’s moving around, the term “sea of people” comes to mind.

“I’ll sign you two in,” Unnie says and slips off through the people towards a table nearby.

“She’s in mom mode again,” Jae laughs as we watch her go, obviously sizing up all the people there and comparing us to them. We stand awkwardly in the room, looking around at all the people. Some are facing the wall or another person and reciting lines with dramatic facial expression, some sitting silently waiting for it to start, and other doing strange stretches and exercises. I elbow Jae lightly, pointing to a skinny girl in the crowd who’s doing yoga in an obvious attempt to get the men close to her to gape at her scantily clad body.

“Should we go ask if we can join her?” I laugh and she shakes her head.

“Respectful,” she reminds me, raising an eyebrow. I stick my tongue out at her; the only person I don’t have to be respectful to. “Although I don’t think it’ll do much good.”

“Why?” I ask her, looking at her and noticing her visible nerves. “You’ll do fine,” I smile putting my arm around her. “We’ll just get through this together and enjoy our cameo roles.” She laughs and nods and Unnie returns with our numbers. We attach them to the fronts of our shirts just before someone starts to talk through a microphone on the other side of the room.

“Thank you for coming to audition for the newest movie written by the Hong sisters,” the voice says, non distinct and Korean sounding. We, and everyone in the room with us, turns to look at him as he reads off numbers 1-30. The people with those numbers move towards the door and the rest stay behind, the mass of people diminishing a bit making it easier to breathe and see.

“There must be at least 90 people in here,” Jae guesses, observing how many people are left.  

“So it wouldn’t have mattered if we were late in the first place,” I say, remembering Unnie’s driving. “Our number is still at the end so we’ll be in the last group.” She raises her eyebrows at me and points to the door.

“The people who come last through those doors will not make it past the first round,” she says and I laugh at her serious manner. She glares at the door with dark eyes and I wonder if there’s any history behind her fury. “I promise.”

“What happens if they do make it?” I challenge, turning my eyes towards the door and raising an eyebrow. I feel like making a bet right now for some reason, must be the nerves.

“They won’t,” she says again, folding her arms in front of her.

“If they do,” I say, meeting her eyes. “Will you let us have one full day of freedom?” Unnie laughs with her head thrown back; she’s obviously confident in her thoughts. She starts to open to tell me it’s a useless bet, but I my pinky towards her. “Promise?” I ask and she hesitates. “Are you not confident anymore?” I tease and she narrows her eyes. I’ve successfully provoked her, I think.

“If they don’t you two must focus more on promoting yourselves,” she says threateningly. “That includes more photo shoots, radio shows, TV shows, and anything else I tell you to do.” I laugh at her, wondering why she’s asking me to do the things I knew would be forced on us soon enough. Jae says something to me, but I talk over her.

“Deal,” I say, clasping pinkies with Unnie and touching our thumbs together. She shakes her head at me sadly, like I’ve just signed away my soul. “What Jae?” I ask, turning to her, and feeling a little guilty for ignoring her. Her eyes are wide and gapes open. I follow her finger that’s pointing to the door and my mouth falls as well. The last people have arrived. And it’s Sunggyu and Woohyun.

“Oh look!” Unnie says, catching on way too late. “It’s your friends from Infinite.” I can’t help but start laughing. Jae stares at me like I’m crazy for a second, but then a smile slowly dawns across her face. She joins me in laughing at our luck and now it’s Unnie’s turn to stare at us like we’re crazy.

“Oh! Saela! Jae!” I hear Woohyun’s voice from behind me and turn to see him; still laughing. He smiles and I wave at him; wondering how the heck that happened. I’m glad to see him because of it though. He and Sunggyu walk over, both smiling at us. “Are you two auditioning?” Woohyun asks before he’s even reached us. Jae nods, but since I’m in such a good mood, I decide to mess with him and shake my head.

“We’re spies,” I whisper to him when he comes over. “President Hong sent us to look for suspicious things here at the auditions.” Woohyun stares at me for a second, utter confusion written all over his face. Sunggyu laughs behind him and claps him on the shoulder.

“You really shouldn’t believe her so easily,” he says and Woohyun frowns at me. I smile sweetly at him and he shakes his head slowly, my silent apology accepted just as noiselessly.  “How did the recording go? Was I helpful?” Sunggyu asks, looking at Jae. I’ve found her mysterious assistance, I think and raise an eyebrow at her as she responds. She doesn’t even notice that I’m trying to drill into her head with my eyes and keeps talking to Sunggyu. I sigh and let her go.

“Did you guys finish already?” Woohyun asks me and I nod, turning my attention to him instead of my little maknae growing up. “Wow. That was fast. But you only have two of you. Seven takes a little more time.”

“It felt really long while we were in there,” I tell him and he nods like he understands.

“I always have to wait for everyone to get their parts right,” he brags, glancing over at Sunggyu. “For us two, it’s so much easier.”

“Oh,” I say, nodding and being sarcastically impressed. “You must be so good,” I laugh and Woohyun notices I’m joking with him.

“I am!” he protests, “I’m the second main vocalist!”

“I know,” I say nodding sadly. “If only you were number one.” I hold up my pointer finger and look at it sadly as I add another one.

“Really,” he says defensively, “I’m really good! All of our fans love my voice.”

“Isn’t everyone’s favorite Myungsoo though?” I ask and his face falls. He nods sadly and I feel a sad catch in my chest along with the sudden urge to hug him. I laugh it off and substitute a hug for a pat on the shoulder. I still kind of hate myself for doing it, but with that expression I feel like I would have hated myself even more if I hadn’t. “It’s ok,” I assure him. “Everyone’s favorite is going to be Jae. I already know.” I look over at her and smile. She looks so happy talking to Sunggyu; watching his face intently and smiling. I’m not gonna lie, she’s my favorite too. She’s too cute.

“We’ll just be each other’s favorites then,” Woohyun says, capturing my attention again and I laugh. I feel a surge of happiness to think I have a fan. But is he really a fan? I ask myself. His smile at me reflects my inner thoughts and I return one.

“Sure,” I smile.

We all stand and talk for a while, waiting for the last group to be called through the doors. We move towards the wall and relax, taking off our jackets and sitting on the floor. It feels like we just came to hang out together and I feel like my good mood couldn’t get any better. Sunggyu tells us his new nickname for Jae and the rest of us spend the time using it in clever ways since it makes her face turn red. Woohyun tells Sunggyu to make one up for me that’s really embarrassing, but Sunggyu sides with me.

“Leaders have to stick together,” I say, reaching over to high five him.

“Or else we’ll have no one when our groups all turn against us,” he laughs, giving Woohyun a meaningful look. Woohyun just laughs; leaving Jae and I to wonder about what it meant.

“I guess that’s what we look like,” Jae tells me, turning he head sideways at me. “Although I didn’t think we looked that weird.”

“Weird?” Sunggyu laughs, “Are you really going to call me weird, Mak-Jae?” We all laugh as she wrinkles her nose at him.

“Yes, Hamster Gyu,” she says folding her arms across her chest. “You’re a weird hamster.” We continue to laugh at her because his nickname isn’t as funny and then the same voice comes through the room to our ears.

“Numbers 70 and above please come through the doors,” we all look down at our numbers, even though we know we’re above 70 and then stand up. Jae and I start turn to walk towards the door and Sunggyu calls Jae back.

“Ya! Mak-Jae!” He calls and she turns around. “Forgetting something?” He throws her jacket at her as he passes her on his way to the door and laughs. He and Woohyun laugh as they make their way to the door, looking back over their shoulders at us. I shake my head at them and then grab Jae. We follow behind them and go through the doors into a smaller room. At the left when we walk in is a long table with about 15 people sitting evenly spaced along with clip boards, notebooks, and folders in front of them. One of them, a younger one with glasses, stands up as all of us file in and stand awkwardly in front of the table.

“Welcome to auditions,” he says amiably smiling at us. “I’m Kang Shin Il and I’ll be leading you through the first round. We’re going to be doing things a little differently for this movie, so our auditions will be different as well. First off, I’d like you to all stand in a line and introduce yourself. Please state your name, number, and age.” Everyone shuffles around to stand in a line, some moving quickly because of nerves and some moving really slowly out of hesitation. Jae and I find Sunggyu and Woohyun again and stand next to them. On my other side, opposite of Jae, is a cute girl probably younger than me, with bright orange hair. I glance at her for Jae and she smiles. We love people who entertain us.

The introducing starts at the far end of the line form us, Woohyun is three people from the end, and I’m getting tired of hearing “Annyeonghasaeyo” and watching the people bow one after another. I give Jae an annoyed look and she reminds me silently to be respectful again. When the line finally reaches me, I step forward and wave at them all.

“Good afternoon,” I smile, making eye contact with as many of them as possible. “My name is Sarah Johnson,” I get a few nods from the non-distinct people at the table as I give them my English name. I switch back to Korean because after all I am in Korea. “Or Saela. I’m 18 and… Oops forgot my number!” I laugh and look down, receiving a few chuckles from the table members. “Sorry, I’m number 96.” I shrug and give them a vulnerable and human expression, stepping back in line.

“Hello my name is Jae and I apologize for Saela’s behavior,” Jae says when she steps up, receiving more laughs. I frown at the back of her head, but it’s all for show. “I’m 18 as well and I know that I’m number 95. Thank you for putting up with us,” she bows gratefully, taking her spot next to me again. We give each other sideways glances and smiles; both thinking about how funny we are.

“Hey, I’m Kim Sunggyu,” Sunggyu says, and gasps are heard through the line. The girl next to me stares at him with wide eyes and then looks at me with the same expression. “I’m 25 and I’m number 97.” When he steps back in line, the fan girls in our line can’t keep themselves form giggling and tittering to each other. Sunggyu smiles at Jae and I, his eyes miniscule cause he’s almost laughing. When Woohyun steps forward the gasps and whispering picks up a bit.

“I’m Nam Woohyun,” he says, one of his hands in his pocket. I almost laugh at his attempt to be cool as he continues. “22, number 98.” I shake my head at him as he steps back and he notices, winking at me. It’s different to see him act cool instead of obnoxiously cutesy. I can’t say that I don’t like it. When the line finishes, the last few people sounding just like the first 20 or so before us, the man stands up again.

“It seems we have a few celebrities in this group as well,” he laughs to the table members and then looks over at Sunggyu and Woohyun. “I’m glad you could make it said representative of Infinite and Butterfly Kisses.” Sunggyu and Woohyun bow, Sunggyu embarrassed a bit and Woohyun cocky. Jae andI bow too, but we just stay normal and polite. I’m just thankful he knows who we are. “First thing’s first!” Shin Il says, clapping his hand and looking down the line at all the faces staring back at him. “I’m going to need you to pair up; one boy and one girl in each group. I’ll give you some time to introduce yourself to a few people, then we’ll begin for real.” Jae and I look over at Sunggyu and Woohyun and they both nod. It’s a good thing we got that out of the way because after a few second, half of the girls in the room have made their way over and have started introducing themselves to them.

“We already have partners,” I hear Sunggyu tell them over and over again.

“Excuse me,” I hear someone behind me and turn to see two guys. They’re both attractive, dark eyes and slim bodies. I smile at them; how could I not? “I’m Jin Teuk and this is Sung Hyuk.”

“It’s nice to meet you,” I bow and Jae does too, right next to me. “We’re-”

“Butterfly Kisses,” the taller one with a stylish haircut says, making eye contact with me. “We’re fans of you two.”

“Thank you,” I say, bowing my head gain and smiling brighter. “I’m glad that you like our music.”

“We love your music! You’re both very beautiful too,” the shorter one says. His muscles are visible through his tight shirt and I can’t decide which one is more attractive. I laugh and Jae blushes next to me. I open my mouth to thank him and tell him about our album that’s coming out soon, but I feel an arm around my shoulder.

“Sorry Hyung,” Woohyun says from right next to me. “They’re both taken already.”

“Well we have partners,” I correct him, sliding out from underneath his arm. It makes me nervous to have it there and the two guys eyed it awkwardly.

“We figured they’d be taken,” Jin Teuk says, sounding disappointed. Why do they both keep saying “taken”? I wonder. “Well, we’ll look forward to your music in the future and continue to be your fans,” he says, bowing and moving off into the crowd.

“Way to scare them away!” I say, smacking Woohyun’s arm. I almost tell him how attractive they were but stop myself.

“You made me send away all of my fans too,” Woohyun shrugs like it’s only fair. I open my mouth to tell him he has so many more fans than I do in the first place, but I’m interrupted.

“Please stand with your partners now!” Shin Il yells above the noise in there. I move next to Sunggyu and Jae gives me the most heartbroken face I’ve ever seen.

“I was kidding!” I whisper at her and back away to stand by Woohyun. He folds his arms across his chest and gives me a look; like I betrayed him. “What?” I mouth, giving him an innocent look and he just shakes his head; a smile playing at the corner of his mouth. “I know I’m funny,” I whisper to him and he has to fight to keep the corner of his mouth down.

“In your partners, please come up and receive a scene from me,” Shin Il explains as the noise dies down and everyone’s looking at him again. “You’ll have 15 minutes to talk about what you’re going to do and then we’ll have everyone preform their little scenes.” People started whispering and talking nervously with their partners as they moved to form a line in front of him. We’re kind of far back in line, so we have to wait, moving slowly towards the front. Woohyun keep smiling smugly around the room because of the eyes on him.

“Are you going to break out in aegyo soon?” I ask him, teasing and he shrugs, seriously considering it. “I was kidding,” I tell him, hoping he doesn’t. I think he looks a lot better when he’s serious. “Please don’t.”

“But I’m so cute,” he says, making the bunny ears in the air and pouting at me. I cover my eyes, not wanting to see him being so embarrassing.

“Stop!” I tell him, because he starts making the noises too. I keep my hand over my eyes and reach out to hit him.

“Saela,” Woohyun says his voice high and cutesy. “We’re moving!” he grabs my hand and pulls me forward and I almost trip. He holds me up and I drop my hand from my eyes. His strong arm is around my back and he smiles cutely down at me. Damn, I think. Why did I just think he was cute again?

“Thanks,” I say ungratefully, stepping forward in line and breaking free from his arms; we’ve reached Shin Il now.

“Here you are,” he says, handing me a piece of paper with a smile. “Enjoy that one; it’s always a good one to watch,” he winks at me and I thank him, deciding I like him.

“What does it say?”  Woohyun asks as we walk away and I look down at the paper. He makes a grab for it, but I position myself between him and the paper, trying to read it.

“It says ‘Woohyun is annoying’,” I lie as he reaches for it over my shoulder. Oh god, I think when I finish reading it and Woohyun has both of his arms reached out around me, grabbing for it. Of course he gives us this scene. I bring my hands close enough so Woohyun can grab it from behind me and rub my hands down my face. This should be fun, I sigh, already regretting picking Woohyun as a partner.

“This is going to be fun!” Woohyun laughs after he finishes and looks at me. “How do you want to do it?” I study him for a moment, wondering for the first time if he can actually act. I have an idea, but I’m not sure if he could pull it off. “Have any good ideas?” he prompts, smiling at me. He’s so loud and cocky that I try to think of another one. I can’t think of one, so I guess I’ll try this one, I sigh.

“The paper says that we are an old couple who’s bored of each other,” I say reviewing what’s on the sheet. “But what if we don’t take the ‘old’ part seriously?”

“It says old,” he looks back on the paper.

“But it doesn’t say ‘old in age’,” I tell him and he starts to smile. “So what if we’ve just been a couple since we were really young, but we’re still young so we still say stupid things?”

“Like what?” he asks, laughing at my word vomit of an idea. I start to list off things that bug me about people that don’t really matter or make sense and Woohyun adds in his ideas. Before we know it, we’ve wasted the entire time laughing at stupid things people do that annoy us. I’m disappointed to have to stop talking with him when he notices that everyone is sitting in a big circle waiting to start performing. We really hadn’t planned anything but I shrug it off figuring we’ll improvise it.

“We’ll start with this group,” Shin Il says, pointing to the group next to Woohyun and I which consists of the girl with the bright orange hair and a middle aged man with a moustache. “And we’ll save the celebrities for last,” he winks at Woohyun and I. I smile back at him and Woohyun smiles around the circle like an idiot. I punch him in the leg lightly and his hand clasps around mine for a moment, putting it down on the floor so I don’t hit him again. I freeze again as he rests his hand over mine. He probably thinks I’m nervous or something, I think looking to the group that goes to the center in attempt to stop my whole body from becoming immovable. The couple starts their scene about buying a new bicycle, it makes me smile, but it’s not good and neither of them really acts in it. The next group goes up with a scene about meeting someone new, their characters aren’t very good, and then the next group does one about winning a big game show. There are a few good ones that leave Woohyun and I looking at each other with impressed looks, and there’s a few that leave us trying not to bust up laughing because it was so bad. Woohyun keeps mumbling little comments in my ear, making it hard for me to take anyone seriously.

“Is it just me or does it look like his hair is a pineapple,” he says, when a man with extremely spikey hair goes up, I reach back to hit him as they start. He whispers hilarious fruit puns in my ear the whole time and traps my hand under his so I can’t hit him. When he finishes I wrench my hand out from underneath his to clap and sigh with relief.

Next up is Jae and Sunggyu and we give them the “Fighting!” fists from our spot around the circle from them. Jae smiles nervously at me before they start. Like an idiot, I prop myself up the same way I was before and Woohyun covers my hand again.

“Opppaaaa,” Jae whines in the most obnoxious voice I’ve ever heard her make. “I’m hungry!” Sunggyu, stiff and looking pissed turns to look at her. She pouts and blinks at him, she looks adorable.

“If you don’t stop doing aegyo,” Sunggyu says, grabbing onto her collar fiercely, “I will kill you.”

“Opppaaaa,” she whines again, putting her fist to her cheeks. “Don’t you love me?”

“No!” Sunggyu yells, releasing her collar and stomping away angrily from her. “Just stop already!”

“Oppa,” she says, sneaking up behind him and peeking over his shoulder. He puts his hands over his ears and moves away from her. Spinning in front of him, she says it over and over again, singing it and whining it; overall the most detestable thing I’ve ever heard. But I can’t help but laugh.

“SHUT UP!” Sunggyu screams at her, it makes me flinch. He actually looks really scary. I feel Woohyun tense from behind me and wonder if he ever gets like this during practice. Jae stops dead in her tracks, gives Sunggyu a heartbroken look, and crumples to the ground. She immediately starts crying, real tears coming out of her eyes. “Oh, don’t cry,” Sunggyu hisses at her, but he already looks like her tears are hurting him. “Jae, stop it,” he says, moving toward her, her body shaking with sobs. “Really, it was just a little annoying!” he reaches out a comforting hand to her and she starts to cry more. “Did you say you were hungry?” he asks as a last resort and she looks up at him, sniffling sadly, and nods. “Come on, Oppa will go get you some ice cream, ok?” She smiles a watery smile at him and throws her arms around his neck.

“You’re the best!” she jumps up, dries her tears, obviously perfectly fine and grabs his arm. The people in the room laugh at her miraculous recovery. “Ice cream time!” She yells, dragging a defeated Sunggyu back to their seat. The people clap for them and they bow, both smiling happily now, before sitting down.

“They did really well,” Woohyun whispers to me and I nod. “I’m impressed.” I nod again, giving him a surprised look. I didn’t even know Jae could cry on command. A few more groups go, none of them nearly receiving as many cheers as Jae and Sunggyu, and then it’s finally our turn. The last group to go. We stand up and move to the center of the circle, Woohyun lies down on the ground, one of the only things we actually planned, and I breathe before starting. You love Woohyun, I tell myself, But you don’t know whether he loves you anymore because you both feel bored. I nod one last time and look at Woohyun on the floor with his eyes open and his hand behind his head. The room is dead silent as I stare at him and then I move. He looks over at me and sits up on his hands like he’s surprised to see me.

“Oh hey,” he says awkwardly, as I sit down next to him, wrapping my arms around my legs. “It’s late, why aren’t you in bed?” he asks, looking back up the ceiling like we’re outside and the night sky is above us.

“Can’t sleep,” I say, only watching his face like he’s only watching the stars. Those are all he seems to see, I think as my role and feel jealousy for inanimate sparkling lights in our make believe sky.

“Me too,” he says, sighing boredly.

“I can’t sleep without you,” I repeat and add the most important reason for my lack of sleep, watching his face. He makes no reaction besides nodding. “It’s become a habit,” I tell him, wanting him to say something. “Like so much about us.” He just nods again and I swallow. I want to hit him for just nodding but I feel like if I let go of my legs, then I will break. “It’s like we don’t even love each other anymore.” Woohyun’s head finally turns to me and he sits up.

“What are you saying?” he asks, looking at me with concern on every centimeter of his face.

“Do you feel bored?” I ask him abruptly and once the words are out, I can’t stop them. I feel my arms shake around my legs, clenching tighter to try and keep some part of me intact. “Has everything about us become routine? We revolve around a schedule. Even our dates are at the same place and same time every week. Shouldn’t we still be having fun with each other like we used to? Shouldn’t we still be in love?” I choke out the last words like they’re a knife that I’m pulling out of my own skin. His body moves around mine and I can feel my pain and his pain through our skin touching. I’m shaking even more now, or maybe that’s Woohyun. I can’t tell. He just holds me there, his hand my head. I feel his skin touching the back of my neck like little electric currents.

“I love you,” he says, pulling away and something moves in me for real. I stop shivering, and I’m frozen by his words. “I’ll never be bored with you. Ever.”

“But what about what you said the other day?” I remind him, putting as much pain in my voice as I can muster. It hurts to say just as much as it was to hear him say that he loves me. I have to force myself to look back at him instead of hiding. “You said we aren’t moving forward.” Woohyun shakes his head, a sad smile flickering across his face.

“That’s not what I meant,” he tells me, unlatching my arms from my legs and pulling me toward him. Surprisingly I don’t break apart, even though I was convinced I would. He takes me into his lap, forcing me to look at him in the eyes; the eyes that freeze me inside myself. He put my legs around him and my eyes are wide at what he’s doing. “I meant I only want to move forward,” his voice is gentle, and he reaches up to touch my face. “I love you, so I want everything from you.”

“But I don’t know how-” He cuts me off before I ramble again with a finger on my lips. My eyes open wider as he smiles at me softly.

“So will you finally marry me?” he ask, his eyes holding me frozen and unable to do anything but feel him all around me. He moves his finger from my lips to my chin and I swallow.

“Yes,” I whisper, only managing that much before he leans in, smiling triumphantly and placing his lips on mine. My frozen body springs into action, lips moving before I told them to, hands circling his neck and grabbing his hair. Before I know it, my mouth opens and lets his tongue inside. And I want it. All of my skin feels like it’s on fire and my tongue comes to life as well, only wanting to feel this intense feeling. When I hear people start to clap and cheer around me, the heat of utter embarrassment is added to the fire spreading through my body. I jump off of Woohyun, covering my mouth and bow to the circle, pretending as best as I can like we planned that. We definitely didn’t. I never planned to kiss him. Ever.

I hear Woohyun thanking people for their loud cheers behind me, and feel like I can’t look at him. I bow several more times, the cheering continuing, and then go to sit back in my seat. Woohyun follows after me and when our eyes meet, he smiles. The fire flares up across my skin bringing a blush to my face. He sits down next me and hugs me with one arm.

“We did really well,” he says, and I want to hit him more than I had ever wanted to before. There’s no trace of a fire on or in him; he looks so normal. I start to shake again, but now I think it’s anger hats pulsing through my veins urging me to hit him. Instead, I smile at the people who are watching us and nod to him without looking at him. Shin Il makes his way to the middle of the circle and looks around at us all.

“Well that was one of the most interesting groups of scenes I have ever seen,” he says, eyes catching mine for a second and then moving on around the circle. “Surprisingly, the judges have decided that they don’t need to see any more from this group! So thank you all very much for coming today and the second round of auditions list will be posted in one hour outside.” The room claps, Shin Il bows and people stand up to leave. I’m still sitting on the floor, I don’t feel like moving yet.

“Saela,” Woohyun says, standing in front of me, “I know I’m a good kisser and all, but you can’t stay here forever.” His words unfreeze me long enough to stand up and punch him in the arm. This time intending to cause him pain. “That one actually hurt,” he says, giving me a fearful look. I don’t feel bad at his pouty face now; it only make something burn inside my chest fueling me to hit him again. I move without thinking; grabbing his wrist, stepping behind him and forcing his arm upward painfully behind his back. He winces and looks at me over his shoulder.

“Never do that again,” I hiss at him, feeling all the fire from my skin rushing through my arms.

“Unless you ask?” Woohyun attempts to joke, smiling playfully through the pain and I wrench his arm farther. He winces again and then laughs; I’m prepared to dislocate his shoulder until I notice we have an audience. A group of fan girls are standing in a little clump near us; watching with jaws dropped and eyes wide. I let Woohyun go, embarrassment drives me to ask him if he’s ok. He laughs, looking at me suspiciously.

“Where did you learn to do that?” he asks, massaging his shoulder and rotating it.

“I took martial arts,” I shrug.

“What, are you a secret black belt?” he laughs and I nod. He stares at me, shaking his head but then laughs again. I start to feel guilt filling my veins as he looks over at the fans and smiles at them “Hello,” he says and they all walk forward slowly.

“Could you sign this for us?” one of them asks and they all push paper out in front of them. Woohyun smiles, taking them and signing them quickly; a professional. They all stare at him and then glance to me, standing awkwardly behind him. “Can you sign too?” the same one asks, and I’m surprised.

“Sure,” I smile pleasantly, flattered that they want it even though I just beat up Woohyun. I take their papers from them and sign my English name, big and loopy like I’d always wanted to. Then under it I wrote “Saela from Butterfly Kisses. Chu.” I hand it back to her, earning a smile of gratitude. “What’s your name?” I ask her.

“Hye Hyun,” she says shyly and her friends slowly approach me. “You’re really pretty,” she says and I thank her.

“I really like your scene,” another one says and I thank her too.

“We make a good acting team, don’t we?” Woohyun interjects, coming over and putting his arm around me. Since the girls in front of us regard it with wide and envious eyes, I leave it there. His arm has been beaten up enough today, I decide and smile at the girls as they nod fervently.

“Very good,” the talker Hye Hyun says, starting to leave. She glances at her friends quickly and then as they retreat away from us they all yell together. “SaeHyun, Fighting!” Woohyun breaks out into laughter and I groan, shoving his arm off me.

“Now we really look like a couple,” I complain as he laughs.

“Enjoy it,” he tells me, putting his arm around me again and leading me over to where Sunggyu, Jae, Unnie and their manager are talking.

“I’m not enjoying it,” I grumble. “I didn’t enjoy that,” I glare at him, referring to a couple minutes ago. He raises his eyebrows at me, understanding what I mean, and just before we reach them, he leans over and whispers into my ear. His breath makes me shiver again and the anger fizzes at the unexpected control he has over my body.

“Then why’d you kiss me more than was necessary?” he asks, and then dances away from me, squeezing in between Sunggyu and their manager for safety. I stare at him, my face burning and he laughs at me. I’m pissed and surprised because I don’t know either.

“Saela,” Jae says, finally noticing me there, “Your scene was really good!” she says, “I was watching all the judges too and they were all looking impressed and were writing a lot down!”

“Really?” I ask, tearing my eyes away from Woohyun’s smug face.

“Did you plan to kiss?” she asks, her voice quieter. I feel another shiver course through me, raising every hair on my skin with the memory. She sees my reaction and her eyes widen. “You didn’t?” I shake my head, trying to breathe through the shivers.

“Why?” I ask her, feeling suddenly desperate for an answer. “Why doesn’t this feel the same?” She knows what I mean without clarification and smiles sadly at me. I didn’t kiss Minho back that way. And I didn’t shake and become still in his arms. I didn’t want him like that. But Woohyun?

“You like him,” she says in English and I shudder again.

“No,” I assure her, “I can’t. Sungjong is my favorite! He’s the cutest anyway, right?” She’s still shaking her head. I take a deep breath and I hug her for support. “,” I say into her shoulder and she laughs.

“It’s been awhile since we talked in English,” Jae says and I barely hear her. I’m too busy hearing too many things in my head. Woohyun’ voice, Woohyun’s whispers, his jokes. “It feels nice,” Jae says somewhere far away and Unnie comes over to us.

“Are you ok?” she asks, our English time over. I feel Jae nod and I squeeze my eyes shut, shutting out the memory as best as I can. But I can’t. He’s stuck inside my head. And my mouth. I feel like I’m going to barf a bit, but not because it was gross. Because I wanted it. “The others are going to wait here for the list to come out and tell us if you’re on it,” Unnie says, my state ignored now, “Because we have to go to lessons and dance practice.”

“Ok,” I hear Jae say. I release her from the hug and start for the door. I’ll feel better if I go outside, I tell myself almost running now. All the people and the nerves are getting to me. That’s why I feel weird. That’s why I…

I break into a sprint, thirsting for outside air to save me from suffocating or throwing up. Only when I push the door open and take a deep breath, the fire in my skin and the shivers through my body don’t stop. The whispers and shivers persists.

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        There's a nice and long chapter for you all lovely readers!! I'm glad I actually have time to update for you all!! I just wish you'd talk to me!! So please comment and subscribe!! Hope you are excited for the next update :)

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