Chapter 10

Jae

“It’s nice to meet you,” CNU says, bowing and I do the same. “I’m glad I get to work with you.”

“I am too,” I smile, feeling shy. It’s not really a good mix because he’s shy too. After picking him because I like him, I didn’t really think about what to do when I actually met him. He’s just as cute as I thought he would be in person so I am happy I chose him. I’m so excited that I actually get to work with him that I have no thoughts in my head; just none. I decide to be honest, even though I’m already feeling the nerves and if he gets even more shy because of what I say this whole music video will crash and burn. Wow I’m over reacting, I think and calm myself down. What would Saela say? I think. “I’m a big fan of yours so I feel really lucky to have you in my first music video. Let’s work well together ok?” I feel like a cheesy and stupid idiot, and want to run towards the nearest wall to hit my head on it repeatedly, but CNU surprisingly nods.

“I’ll work hard so that it turns out well,” he smiles and I brace myself for the overwhelming nerves to come over me like they usually do when Sunggyu smiles, but they don’t come. He’s adorable and I want to hug him for sure, but I don’t feel the rush I’ve become accustomed too with every smile from Sunggyu. I’m confused for a moment and probably show him an awkwardly confused expression in return to his shy smile, but the director summons us for a meeting. We both turn our attention to him as he addresses the whole crew and staff. I watch CNU out of the corner of my eye, taking his appearance in person while still kind of listening, but none of the usual symptoms attack me.

“We’re going to start with Saela and Minho’s best friend scenes,” the director says, looking down at his notes. “Please be ready to start in 20 minutes.” I watch as Saela and Minho are swept away to make-up and wardrobe. Saela looks back at me over her shoulder, miming a fan girl scream before following behind Minho’s tall figure. I hope she’ll be ok, I think worriedly. No, I correct myself smiling; I hope Minho will be ok. CNU gets my attention again and asks what we should be doing. We decide to wait and watch from behind the director and he explains to us what he wants us to do for our scenes, using overly descriptive language and gestures. I always found it funny when old Korean’s made that weird phlegm noise when talking passionately, and this director was definitely passionate. I almost crack up when he says perfect with phlegm three times in one sentence. When Saela and Minho reappear, both looking extremely pretty, his attention is diverted and CNU and I are saved. CNU’s eyes watch me as a I burst out laughing.

“Sorry,” I apologize and stop laughing. “I thought he talked funny. Korean’s not my first language.”

“Oh, that’s right, you’re American and they don’t make that sound,” he realizes with adorably wide eyes and I nod. “He seems like a good director though,” CNU says, and I laugh, nodding. We watch as the director gives the other couple direction, using his whole body to show them what he wants, along with his descriptive language and noises.

“He’s really enthusiastic,” I add and CNU laughs as we watch. Saela and Minho, unfazed by his gusto, go to take their places and we have to stifle our laughter when the director comes back over, clapping and singing happily. I’m surprised to hear him singing our song, and only wonder how he knows it for a moment. Diverting our attention so we don’t laugh, CNU and I watch as the story between the two starts. At one point, CNU leans over to me and asks what’s going on.

“Didn’t you read the script?” I whisper to him, surprised.

“I only read the part I was in,” he laughs cutely and I wait for the nerves again. They don’t come the second time and I’m really confused. “Can you explain it to me?” he asks and I begin to tell him quietly between scenes.

“They’ve been best friends for their whole lives,” I whisper, watching as they look through picture of children that are supposed to be them in an old photo album. I’m impressed at how calmly Saela acts; their shoulders are touching as they lay on the ground next to each other. My mind is suddenly filled with a picture of Sunggyu and I doing the same thing and I shake my head, feeling a shiver. Don’t be creepy, I tell myself and focus back on the music video. CNU listens as the director describes the next scene unnecessarily and then looks to me for clarification.

“Saela has been in love with him the whole time but she never tell him because she’s scared,” I continue to explain it to CNU when they shoot the scene of Saela looking through the same album alone, tracing her fingers over all of his pictures with a sad smile. They continue to shoot in the bedroom set, adding to the idea that the two are best friends. It’s really adorable to watch them laugh at each other, because I know how happy Saela is right now. She doesn’t even have to act like she’s in love with him; she just has to pretend they’ve been friends forever like she’s always wanted them to be. That’s all she ever wished for with her ultimate bias and she’s been bouncing off the walls at home lately because of it. It’s better than when she was being weird about Woohyun, but it’s still exhausting to keep up with her. I’m glad CNU’s not as high energy as her.  

“Does she tell him?” CNU asks me, visibly curious. I laugh and tell him to wait for the end. When the director calls cut for the best friend montage, he starts clapping with the rest of the people.

“Well add the rest of the scenes tomorrow,” The director says and looks to CNU and I. “We’ll start your scenes now.” We’re both already ready since we were whisked away during the filming of some of the montage scenes. We move to our set, a little classroom and the extras fill up the seats around us.

“Now, Jae,” the director calls to me, “You’re popular with lots and loooootts of friends.” I nod, focusing on my job and not the noise he just made. Luckily I know my role since Unnie made us study it so much beforehand. The extra girls dressed in the same type of uniform as me hover around me. “Just talk excitedly with your friends and steal glances at the nerd CNU from time to time.” People laugh and CNU waves, pushing up his glasses. I give them the thumbs up and perch myself on the edge of the desk, trying not to think of how cute that was. We start and I try to channel the outgoing, popular type with lots of friends as I talk and laugh. I look over at CNU as I’m supposed to after some amount of time and then look back.

“Jae,” the director calls, since they’ll take the sound out when they put it to the music, he can make all the noise he wants while we film. “You need to have a kind of curious longing expression on your face,” he tells me and I nod, not really sure how to make that face. “You like him, but you’re too worried about what others will think.” I try it another time and he stops me again. I’m already feeling extremely embarrassed because everyone’s watching me and he makes it worse by giving me advice. “Imagine the boy you really like sitting in CNU’s chair,” he suggest and people laugh as I nod and blush.

It’s CNU, I remind myself, you really like him remember? He’s hilarious and cute and he’s in one of your favorite groups. But this time when I look, a more familiar person is sitting in his chair. I feel my insides squirm, seeing Sunggyu there instead. When CNU turns around like the director tells him to, I avoid his eyes and pretend to be laughing at something one of my many friends said.

“Good!” the director calls, clapping and startling me. “Whoever you imagined, keep imagining that person!” I’m almost disappointed it worked because now I know I’ll have to keep doing it. Why do I have to substitute one bias for another? They should be the same shouldn’t they?

So Sunggyu was with me through the filming; staring back at me over the lab table as we made eye contact. It was him who my friends laugh at when he answers questions in class. And it was his hand that brushed mine and made me blush when he handed me back my book from where I dropped it. It was him that I watched walk home alone and almost followed only to be stopped by friends.

“Woooooow,” the director gushes, “Your expression is perfect! Do that again for the rest of the scenes and it will turn out really well!” I bow my head in thanks, and because I’m still feeling really embarrassed. I’m the happiest I’ve ever been at the fact that no one can read minds yet. Please technology, I pray, don’t learn how. “Good work today,” he says when we’ve finished. Saela and I both thank him and bow as he leaves.

“You’re good at acting,” Minho says to me with a smile, coming over to talk to us.

“Thank you,” I bow, knowing I wasn’t really acting flustered.

“You’re very good too, Saela,” he says and she smiles brightly. “It really felt like we were best friends,” he tells her and slight color comes to her cheeks. Mostly she just looks extremely happy.

 “I hope we can become good friends,” she says sincerely and he nods, smiling. There she goes, I almost groan at how cheesy she sounds.

“I hope so too,” he says and I guess cheesy is ok in Korea, “I’ll see you both tomorrow.” We say goodbye and bow as he leaves, Saela’s hand snatching my arm as soon as his back is turned. She mimes the fan girl scream again, her feet doing the excited jumping shuffle. I laugh at her and she continues to scream noiselessly and jump around as we head back to get out of the clothes. She recounts every second of her acting experience with Minho to me in extreme detail while we change and leave. Then when I feel like she’s almost finished explaining how close they were and how good he smelled, she has to start over to tell Unnie. Even though both of us like her enough to not tell her to shut up, we don’t exactly listen. It’s kind of annoying like the last couple days, but I let her talk until we go into bed. I was expecting her to pass out, but unfortunately she kept talking. I’m sure she was still whispering and giggling when I fell asleep.

The next few days passed the same way; CNU and I laughing at the director’s expressiveness and Saela and Minho becoming best friends. CNU and I became friends too, joking with each other about our roles; he does make an awfully cute nerd. Saela and Minho were the same, spending more time with each other during breaks and breaking out into laughter during their scenes a few times. Saela seems to have to act more when the camera isn’t rolling then when it is. My scenes are more challenging for me. I imagined Sunggyu again in all of them, achieving the right expression out of pure embarrassment that I have to imagine some else. Because I kept imagined him there, I started to miss him with each scene he took CNU’s place. I told myself I would text him once we finished today.

Today is the last day of filming and we’re filming the ending scenes. We’ve moved outside to a park somewhere that will work for both of our ending scenes. Saela and Minho take their places first. CNU and I watch as he starts to leave, suitcase trailing sadly behind him. He stops and waits for the bus, eyes far away. Saela runs from down the street, hair blowing out behind her and tears streaking down her cheeks. Minho’s oblivious to her and looks at a picture of them as kids in his hand and a brochure of a college in America. She stops behind him for dramatic pause and then he turns around. He sees her tears and smiles sadly. She stares at him, conveying everything she’s ever felt for him in one look. He slowly holds up his arms for her, telling her he knows now, and she runs into them, sobbing harder into his chest as he her hair. Then he puts his arm around her, slips the picture of them into his pocket, the brochure in the trash without her seeing, and walks away from the bus stop. The staff starts to clap. Saela dries her tears hurriedly, still crying a bit and Minho laughs.

“I’m not actually leaving,” he jokes with her and she nods, sniffling. “So stop crying so much ok?” She smiles at him and he ruffles her hair. They walked off, his arm still around her to go change and CNU and I move to our places. The extras from our “school” come out and join us on the soccer field in the park. My group of friends, who I’ve actually come to like a lot and have helped in filling the previously lacking contact list in my phone, is wearing the same color jersey as me. We stand in a cluster, the rest of them talking animatedly while I watch CNU from the sidelines. When he falls, my friends all laugh. I see that he’s bleeding and I run out to him. Everyone stares as I help him up, noticeably worried. Their jaws drop when I put his arm around my shoulder and lead him to the bench. After I clean up the blood from his face, I look around at their judgmental expressions and then throw my arms around CNU. His arms slowly come up around me and I smile into his shoulder, for once not needing to imagine Sunggyu. But as I think of him, my heart pangs a bit, hiding in CNU’s shoulder from myself.

“Good!” The director calls and we let go of each other, I’m not surprised that I don’t feel awkward. CNU has become easy to be around. Although I think if I had to do that scene with Sunggyu, I would have felt extremely awkward. We stand up together, thanking the extras around us for their participation; they’re done with all of their scenes. I hug my new friends goodbye as they leave and the director announces: “Time for our last scenes!”

Everyone packs up the equipment and Saela, Minho, CNU and I all load into a van to go to the last destination. In the van, Minho starts to tease Saela about her crying so much and CNU and I give each other looks. One of our favorite topics to talk about during down times what obnoxious couples; we classified Saela and Minho as one of them. Even though they’re not a couple, we figure they qualify. We put in our headphones, they’re both too loud and together they’re even louder; their laughs fill the entire van. It kind of reminds me of her and Woohyun except Saela doesn’t hit Minho or flinch when he touches her. We haven’t seen Infinite for a few days, but I can remember that Saela is definitely more relaxed with Minho.

CNU leans back in the seat next to me with his eyes closed and I watch him for a minute. He’s definitely still attractive to me, I conclude, so why don’t I feel that nervous? I think the whole ride to the last location but I my mind only circles back to Sunggyu. When we stop and we file out of the van, CNU turns to me.

“I’ve been meaning to ask,” he says, as I take out my headphones, “Who is it that you keep picturing?” as soon as he asks, I’m sure my cheeks flush. Finally that nervous flash hits me. He laughs. “You don’t have to tell me. But you must like him a lot.” He smiles at me and I nod slowly, realizing why he doesn’t make me nervous. Because I don’t only like Sunggyu.

               Is it weird that I actually really want to watch this music video? Even though I made it up? Oh well. It sounds like a good one to me! Because it has Minho and CNU in it too!! It's kind of a strange pairing I know, but I like them. SO. In honor of their participation, I present thee with gifs!!!!

 Yep. He's adorable.  And yep. He's a nub.