I watch him.

How he carries on with life easily.

And I look at myself.

I’m a pathetic wreck.

Only know did I realize how dependent I am on him.

It hurts even more to know that he never needed me.

He gives me everything.

But he never needed me in the first place.

It’s hard to concentrate when work and a broken love stays in the same place.

I don’t care if they call me names for I am truly what they say of me.

Everyday, I come to remind myself painfully how the somebody who I never wanted to call back is the somebody I would die without.

Stuck in reverse. I’m stuck in reverse.

I miss you so much. I hope you think about me even though I know I no longer live inside you.

Each day,

I delve deeper and deeper back into our shared memories,

watching the silent movie in an empty theatre alone.

I’m the only audience.

//

Stop looking at me.

Don’t think I don’t know.

I feel your eyes on me each day.

They give me pain.

I never want to go back again.

But your eyes,

They are tearing me apart.

I hope I was an unfeeling man.

That way, love wouldn’t give me so much pain.

And you would always stay the precious thing I held so dear.