Crushed.

My heart is crushed.

You hammered it down, mercilessly enjoying the scatter of the broken pieces of my heart even when I screamed for you to stop.

Why do you do this to me?

I stare at you, eyes probably wide with fear as they fill up with tears.

You’re ruining everything.

Why do you look so hurt?

Does it hurt when I love you?

Why?

I’m sorry.

I don’t want to be indecisive but my heart keeps going back to you.

What do you want me to do?

What do you want me to do when you’re such a big part of me?

You’re like a tattoo.

If you were one, you’d be on my back.

I hardly see you but you’re always there.

If you were one, you’d been close to my heart.

Unable to be erased, unable to be forgotten.

Why do you ruin the walls I built around me.

I spent so much tears, so many painful decisions to build my defenses.

I felt safe and secure.

Nothing can bring me down again.

But you, you came by and brought my whole world down with just a few words.

And that wasn’t enough.

You stepped through the broken bricks to crush me.

Why?

I tried so hard to stay away, why do you do this to me?

Don’t.

Leave me alone.

Don’t stay close to me.

You’re playing with my mind.

I am going hysterical.

“Go away! What do you want from me?”

There is fury but there are also cowardly tears.

“Go away! Don’t touch me!”

A hint of hurt flashes through your eyes and it pierces right through my heart.

I don’t want to hurt you again.

Please, just go away.

Your silence is strangling me, threatening my sanity with your steady eyes.

Composed, you’re always composed while I am the crazy one.

I hate being the only one emotional.

Are you toying with me?

I struggle against your rough hands.

They hurt me.

Everywhere you touch, hurts.

But I levitate towards you foolishly, like a moth towards candle fire.

Even when I told myself many times,

the bad person should not appear again after a happy ending.

Those eyes are lying.

You always lie.

You know I hate it when you lie.

But I’m not going to let you get away with it anymore.

No matter how much you deny me and yourself, no matter how badly you struggle against me, I’m not going to let go again.

I thought I was stupid to have stayed by your side.

But I know, either way, I was still foolish to have left you alone.

We pledged no love but that was all we wanted.

We are both liars.