Everything is a colourless blur.

Nothing matters anymore.

Even when I hear them talking behind me back, saying how much of a desperate scum I am, I couldn’t help but agree more.

I’m desperate.

So desperate I could die.

I look out of the window to see the flower outside.

I planted it there a few days ago.

It looked like it was dying in its pot.

It mustn’t die. Not before I do.

I unlock the door and touch the grass with my bare feet.

I squat down and touch the petals.

It still looks the same.

\\

“I’ll be right back.”

I look away as the door slammed shut.

Everything here reminds me of him.

If Youngjae didn’t need to hand him the work that badly, I wouldn’t have been here.

Even the mailbox over there is part of something.

I close my eyes.

I don’t want to see anything anymore.

Everything is annoying.

I fidget restlessly and an unintentional glance calls for the opening of an old wound.

I stare at the lonesome figure as he runs a hand over a light blossom, looking pale and forlorn as his hair rests over his eyes.

Don’t look anymore.

The lily I gave him.

He’s nothing close to it.

You’re nothing pure, Kim Himchan.

You only break my heart.