Yunho had made himself comfortable on the couch, right next to Junsu, and was looking around curiously. Jaejoong poured him some tea that was still hot, and looked at Yunho who took a sip from the cup. Everybody waited for somebody to say something, but Jaejoong seriously had no idea how he should start the conversation; should he apologize? Should he tell him how grateful he was? Or should he simply start a normal conversation: How have you been? Surprisingly it was Junsu who first said something- yet, it wasn’t something any of them had expected.

“How did you find out where Jae lives?”, he asked, his cup in the hand, the blanket around his shoulders. Even though it wouldn’t have been the first question he’d asked, Jaejoong still looked at Yunho curiously. He, on the other hand, looked and Junsu, smile on his face. Something about Yunho seemed different, more distant that Jaejoong remembered, but he couldn’t tell why.

“It was hard,” he started, taking his eyes away from Junsu and looking at Jaejoong instead. “After you jumped I thought it was over. The branch was broken and your fall had been so loud, I expected the soldiers to show up any second. And I heard them drawing closer. I had such an adrenaline rush that I simply jumped- I hurt my leg while doing so- and stumbled thought the forest. I think I even followed you for a while, but it was too dark and I couldn’t call out for you- it would’ve been too risky. I made it to Seoul and settled down there for a while, but I didn’t feel home there. I was afraid of people finding out that I was North Korean and thus, I first went to Incheon, then Busan and finally decided on moving to Jeju. I didn’t expect to find you here- but earlier this day, I saw you on the beach. With him.” He pointed at Junsu, whose cheeks suddenly became deep red. “At first I wasn’t sure if it really was you, but after some time I had no doubt. When you two left, I rushed to the registration office and tried to find out where you lived- which was easier than expected, since you didn’t even try to change your name. Do you know what would happen if the North Koreans wanted to find you? You’re making it too easy.”

Junsu stared at Jaejoong out of two insecure eyes. “What would happen?” He asked. For the first time, he realized how dangerous it was for Jaejoong to live here. For the first time, he realized that it wasn’t just an easy thing everybody could accomplish. He took Jaejoong’s hand, willing to do whatever was needed for Jaejoong to be safe.

Jaejoong avoided his gaze. He looked at Yunho for a while, then at his shoes. Because Jaejoong wasn’t saying anything, it was Yunho who gave Junsu his answer: “They would kill him.”

Junsu’s eyes widened, but then he shook his head. “Jaejoong is just another soldier. Why should they bother finding and killing him?”

This time, it was Yunho’s eyes that widened. He stared at Jaejoong in disbelief and finally, started to laugh. He buried his hands in his pockets and got up, shaking his head. “I knew you wouldn’t tell him,” Yunho said, leaning in the doorframe. Jaejoong glared at him, regretting that he ever let him in. “I’ll get going. We should meet eventually.” He wanted to turn around, but it seemed as if he remembered something. “Oh, and, Junsu: You wouldn’t believe how many people living in your neighborhood are actually North Korean spies. They’re everywhere. It’s just a matter of time until they either kill, or take him away.” And with that, he left, leaving Junsu and Jaejoong alone. Jaejoong felt incredible uneasy and avoided Junsu’s gaze, but didn’t say a word. Again, it was Junsu who started talking: “You didn’t tell me what?”

Jaejoong, now looking at Junsu, took a deep breath. “Su… I don’t really want to talk about it.” Junsu had never looked at him with such a hurt expression on his face. Jaejoong hated seeing him like that and reached out for his cheek, but the redhead shook his head. He held up his hands and sighed.

“Don’t you love me?” He asked after a while, and if it wasn’t for the seriousness of the conversation, Jaejoong would’ve laughed. He had risked his life to come to South Korea, he would’ve done everything just to find Junsu- and there he was, asking him if he truly loved him.

“Of course I do. I love you with all my heart, Junsu-ya.” He answered and looked straight into Junsu’s eyes, hoping he could read the truth in his eyes.

“Then why does it feel like you know everything about me, but I know nothing about you? Everytime I try to talk about your past, about how you grew up, you’re changing the topic.” He stopped for a second, but before Jaejoong could answer, he added: “And don’t even try to say: It was worthless before I met you. You always say that, but I still feel like I don’t know the person I love.”

Jaejoong knew he was right. He rarely to never talked about his past, all that he’d told Junsu was that his family was dead. He avoided the topic as good as possible, and until now Junsu had never insisted on Jaejoong talking. But he knew how he would’ve hated that somebody from Junsu’s past came and revealed that Junsu had secrets towards Jae. He closed his eyes and leaned his forehead against Junsu’s and pressed his lips together.

“My parents didn’t really die, they were killed. So was my sister, because they tried to run away.” Junsu shot up and looked at Jaejoong with widened eyes. He knew that it was hard for Junsu not to say anything, but Jaejoong shook his head. “I was the one to betray them. I told my teacher what my parents planned. I was six at the time and the North Koreans had managed to brainwash me, so that I actually thought my parents were the bad ones. They were killed because of me. I won an award after that, and I had the pleasure to watch my parents die. There was a time that I really thought I’ve done something honorable. It was in middle school that I realized I had done something awful. I had killed my parents. I was now property of the government. They did what they wanted with me. There was a time I had to stay in the hospital for months because they were giving me injections, doing experiments. They wanted to create a killer machine, somebody faster, stronger and better than a normal human being. After they realized they’d failed, they sent me into the army. Even though I wasn’t a killer machine, I was still good enough to become a soldier. And that’s basically it.”

Junsu kept silent for a while. Then he hugged Jaejoong tightly and buried his face in the hole between throat and shoulder. “Oh, Jae. I didn’t know. I’m so sorry.”

But Jaejoong pushed him away and cleared his throat, standing up. “Of course you didn’t, I never talked about it. Now you know why. I’m not the good person you think I am and I was afraid of what you might think about me after knowing that.” Junsu stood up, too, and approached Jaejoong. He pulled him into a tight embrace.

“I still love you. That doesn’t change a thing.” Suddenly, Jaejoong felt exhausted and incredibly tired. He kissed Junsu’s cheek and suggested to finally go to sleep. They did. But Jaejoong couldn’t sleep. Every time he closed his eyes, he could see the faces of his family right before they were killed. He let some silent tears escape his eyes and looked at Junsu. He really didn’t deserve that much happiness.

***

They were standing in the store, in between hundreds of technological things and Jaejoong felt lost, while Junsu was looking around excitedly. He had something in his hand, that was big enough to be a window, and gave it Jaejoong. “What’s that?” He asked and Junsu rolled his eyes. He had been whining about Junsu not having a mobile- so they couldn’t even communicate on Junsu’s days off, and the younger really hated that. Thus, he had decided to buy his boyfriend a mobile. Jaejoong really didn’t want to accept such an expensive gift, but Junsu had made clear that it was more for himself than for Jaejoong. He was okay with that- he would’ve been okay with everything that made Junsu happy.

“A mobile, Pabo!” Junsu laughed and took away the mobile- it really was big- and kissed Jaejoong. “Too big, isn’t it? Let’s take the Samsung Note III, it’s big but it’s cool. I have the same.” He held up his mobile, a pretty white one, and grinned widely as he his heels and talked to the annoyed looking cashier, declaring that he wanted the same model he had. The cashier, obviously happy that the couple had finally decided on something, went into the storage room and got them the mobile. He shortly explained how to use it, but Junsu waved it aside, paid with his credit card and took the box with the phone in one, and Jaejoong’s hand in the other hand, thanked the cashier and rushed out of the shop. Jaejoong didn’t have problems following him, but he wasn’t used to Junsu running like this.

“Are we running away from something?” Jaejoong asked confused, but Junsu shook his head, grinning.

“No, I just want to try out the new mobile. We have to take pictures together, so that you can look at them when you miss me.” He blushed a little, but still laughed and fastened his pace a little. Jaejoong admired how careless and happy Junsu looked everytime they were together, he loved to see him like that. He wished to feel the same way. But that was something that couldn’t be changed: Junsu had had a carefree and perfect childhood, whereas Jaejoong tried to forget his with all his heart.  They reached the apartment really quickly, since it was around the corner anyways, and rushed up the stairs. Junsu unlocked the door and stumbled inside. Jaejoong really couldn’t explain to himself why the younger was that excited, but still smiled when he let himself fall onto the couch next to Junsu and watched him playing with the new phone. He inserted the SIM-Card and clicked onto a few buttons before handing the phone to Jaejoong. He tried to follow Junsu’s words, but it was rather hard to understand. Of course, there were also mobiles in the North, but they weren’t like the one he was holding- and he had never had one, to begin with. He didn’t need one, since he spent his days in the army anyway- they didn’t allow mobiles or anything that could distract the soldiers. After Junsu had explained everything, he started making pictures of the two of them. Junsu looked good in each and every one, but Jaejoong wasn’t confident with his appearance. He had dark circles under his eyes that told stories about his sleepless nights, his skin was pale and his lips were dry. Why did he look so ill all of a sudden? Next to Junsu, they pretty much looked like ‘the beauty and the beast’.

After some time, Junsu’s mobile rang and he shot up. “Crap! Junho wanted to meet me today, I totally forgot. Oh, Jaejoongie, I’m so sorry.”

But Jaejoong shook his head and gave Junsu a smile. He stood up, kissed Junsu- first on the lips, then on the forehead- and caressed his back. “It’s okay, Susu-ya. We don’t have to spend every second of every day together. There are people that want to meet you, after all. If I’m at work when you come back, make sure to lock the door, okay?”

Junsu widened his eyes. “Work? You’re working today?”

“Yes. I couldn’t get two weeks off, you know. I’ve convinced them to give me a few days, but they wouldn’t give me any more. I’m sorry.” Junsu nodded a little, gave Jaejoong another kiss and rushed out of the door. After he was gone, Jaejoong sat back down on the couch, the TV and tried to understand the mobile.

***

It was short after midnight and the first night that Jaejoong was allowed to stand behind the counter- which was harder than expected. The people were shouting, everybody trying to be the next, when Jae could only take one order at a time. That didn’t matter to them, though. He was mixing a drink somebody had ordered and put it on the counter, when somebody grabbed his arm and pulled him forwards. Jaejoong’s eyes were widened, but upon seeing who it was, he relaxed a little: It was Yunho, who was smiling at his friend, pointing at the alcohol with the chin. “Taking a drink together?”

Jaejoong, however, shook his head. “I can’t drink when I’m working.” Yunho pouted, but accepted it, and sat down on a seat that had just gotten free. “Then give me a bottle of Soju and a shot glass.” The waiter nodded, gave his friend what he’d asked for, but refused to take the money. He’d just pay it himself, after all he just felt like he owed him. Sure, he did make it, but Jaejoong shouldn’t have run off without making sure Yunho was okay. The man poured himself some Soju and drank it all at once, then stared at Jaejoong, who was busy working. Obviously much to Yunho’s dissatisfaction. While Jaejoong was mixing a drink, he leaned a little forward: “Yah, Jaejoong-ah. Do you think you’ll have time to meet me after work?” Jaejoong, stopping what he was doing, cocked his head to the side.

“Why?” His eyes examined his opponent. He liked Yunho, even though it had been him who brought up the whole North Topic and had him telling Junsu what happened to him. He still liked Yunho. And he owed him, a lot. Then why did it feel like it wasn’t Yunho he was talking to?

Yunho laughed and took another shot, then shook his head. “You sure changed during your time here. What’s that redhead doing to you?” Even though his tone was jokingly, Jaejoong could tell by the look in Yunho’s eyes that it was partly true. Had he changed so much?

“He’s making me happy.” Jaejoong muttered, giving that woman that bet on her for getting a discount the drink, and telling her to pay the full price. Then, he leaned towards Yunho, finally nodding. “Fine, my shift ends at three, in half an hour. Let’s meet at the entrance later.” Yunho agreed and took the bottle and glass to find him a new place where he could drink. Jaejoong was relieved when the man arose. He couldn’t tell why, but something about Yunho’s presence bothered him.

***

Because it was summer, Jaejoong was still wearing a tee even though it was deep at night- or early in the morning, depends on how you see it. He wasn’t cold, but felt uncomfortable, so he buried his hands in his pockets. He had three new messages from Junsu, but hadn’t had the time to read them through yet, because Yunho was standing under a lantern and kicked a stone back and forth. Jaejoong took a deep breath and approached his friend. When Yunho saw Jaejoong nearing, his head shot up, and he wore a smile. Jaejoong forced himself to smile back. “So, what was it you wanted to talk about?”

Yunho pouted a little, and while Jaejoong loved to see Junsu pout because he was incredibly cute when doing so, he came to find it creepy when Yunho did it. “Does a friend need a reason to talk to the other friend?”

Jaejoong raised an eyebrow and pretended to look at a watch he wasn’t wearing. “If it’s three am, then yes, this friend has to have a reason.”

The other sighed, becoming all serious all of a sudden. And now Jaejoong new why he seemed to unfamiliar, so strange: He wasn’t the Yunho that helped him escaping, he was the Yunho he’d seen in the army daily. He tried hard to make it seem like he was the funny, the nice Yunho, but something wasn’t right. Jaejoong new that. “Okay, let me be honest with you: Some North Korean Spies found me. While they weren’t interested in me at all and just let me off, they made it clear that they will hunt you down, and that they will bring you back. Forcefully, if they have to. I came to warn you. You should leave this place, as fast as you can.”

He had expected something like this. Yet, there was something he didn’t understand: If they were nearby, why hadn’t they made their moves already? “Where to?” He still asked. He didn’t worry about his own safety, but didn’t want that anything happened to Junsu or even his family.

“Away. Maybe to the countryside. But you should definitely leave Jeju. Believe me, it’s for the better.” Yunho paused for a while, putting on a smile. And for the first time, Jaejoong hadn’t that weird feeling when Yunho smiled. “And I’ll accompany you. We’ll go through this together.”