As soon as they were seated comfortably in Luhan’s car, he asked her, “Do you want to go to the restaurant?”

She remained silent, so he guessed the answer was still a 'no.' He tried asking another question. "Where do you want to go then?"

Cheonsa frowned; her mood still didn’t change at all. Luhan smiled, because even when she was angry, her frown had its own way of looking cute and adorable. “Aren’t you the one who planned this? You decide,” she spat.

“Alright then. Let’s go to a movie theater.”

“Are you serious? No one goes there anymore,” she scoffed, crossing her hands in front of her chest.

“Then why is it always crowded everyday?” he asked, maintaining an innocent look while trying to hold in his laughter.

“Well, that means they are lame,” she stubbornly retorted and stared out of the car window, refusing to look at him.

“How do you know that?”

“It has nothing to do with you.”

“It won’t work you know,” he said while scanning the street as he drove. It was strange; he didn't find her rude attitude annoying at all.

“What won’t work?” she asked sharply, finally looking at him.

“No matter what you do, you won’t make me hate you,” Luhan honestly stated.

“We'll see about that,” she said, the edges of her lips almost shaping a little pout.

Luhan wished that he wasn’t driving right now, because he suddenly wanted to pinch that chubby cheek of hers and pat her head to feel her smooth, shiny, black hair underneath his fingers. He cleared his throat, forcefully pushing the urge to the back of his mind.

“So you don’t want to go to the cinema. Where do you want to go then?”

She was silent for awhile. Luhan thought she wasn't going to answer again until she spoke up. “I know a place, but it’s not in this part of the city.”

“Where is it?” he asked.

“The eastern part of town,” she whispered, seemingly hesitating when she said it.

“Eastern part?” Luhan repeated, not believing his ears. The eastern part of the city was so different from the western part where they lived. It was full of rundown buildings, dark alleys, and suspicious-looking stores. There were many people who looked like criminals lurking around and doing whatever they wanted. If his mom heard any word about the eastern part of the city, she would have cringed and hit anyone who mentioned it. Luhan didn’t blame her.

“Yes,” Cheonsa repeated with a quiet voice.

Luhan's grip on the steering wheel tightened until his knuckles turned white. Memories flooded through his mind. Although his eyes were still aimed at the street in front of him, they also saw other things.

A screeching of tires. A loud gunshot tearing through the black night.

He could feel his eyes starting to water. He forced himself to keep breathing evenly. This was a part of him that he didn’t want her to know about. He tried to concentrate on driving, but it wasn't that difficult to do so. He had already known how to drive ever since his teenage years. To him, driving was something as easy as breathing. He didn’t have to think of how to do it.

But that was the problem. If he couldn’t think of anything to distract himself, more memories of the past would continue to haunt him.

And so they did.

Blood.

“Why do you want to go there?” he asked with a calm voice, desperate to keep the conversation going.

Red and thick.

“No reason. There’s a good café there. I want to visit it.” Her hands reached into his CD collection, trying to find something to play.

It dripped onto the black asphalt.

“You know a lot about every part of this city, don’t you?” he said, trying to ease his voice.

And stained his trembling hands.

“Of course. I was born here,” she plainly stated, still looking through the CD's. When the car came to a stop all of a sudden, she looked at him with confusion.

“Why did we stop?”

Luhan couldn’t answer her. He leaned his face onto the steering wheel, not wanting her to see the look on his face. His hands were trembling and his breath got caught in his lungs, coming out in uneven pants. A cold sweat was forming on his forehead. His eyes were closed, his mind trying to get rid of the pictures and memories.

It was burning. The memory had once again embedded a wound where a deep, half-healed scar lay in his heart. Again, the pain was tearing him apart.

Somewhere in his head, he could hear his own voice, screaming and shouting for help. But as always, nobody came. Nobody. Only himself and a dead body laying on the ground on that dark and lonely night.

A dark and lonely night in the eastern part of town.

The silence and Cheonsa's calm breathing in the car helped him somehow. After a short while, Luhan was able to relax. Before he raised his head up from the steering wheel, he felt a warm hand his hair.

Reflexively, he flinched away from the touch. From behind his arm, he could see Cheonsa’s hand hovering in the air for a second before it quickly retreated back to her lap. He was glad that he didn’t see any signs of hurt in her eyes. He only saw surprise and nothing else.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered. Luhan wasn't sure for what he was apologizing for, whether it was for his sudden panic attack or if it was flinching from her attempting at comforting him. He took a deep breath, “But I promise it won’t happen again.”

He couldn’t say 'no' to her request for visiting the one place he did not wish to visit the most. Not when she sat beside him talking to him, albeit with a cold gaze and occasionally mocking words. Not when she asked him to fulfill her personal request. Not when this was their first date. Not when it was her. Not when he was a man named Xi Luhan, a man in love with a girl named Han Cheonsa.

Cheonsa only nodded. Maybe she missed how pale Luhan’s face was or how his breathing was faster than normal. But even if she did notice, she didn’t say anything, and instead looked out the window, with the opened CD case lying forgotten on her lap.

Luhan put away the CD case and continued driving. The rest of the journey was filled with nothing but silence. Luhan played a soothing melody inside his head and kept his mind busy. He knew that he was not a strong person, but he had to be.

No matter what happened, he had to be strong. He had to be strong so that someday, when she needed a shoulder to lean on, he would be there. He didn't deserve her if he couldn't do at least that much.

Luhan's resolve to be the best man for her strengthened him. The panic had subsided, and he could finally breathe normally again. Even though he wasn't completely calmed, he was at least able to subtly hide the signs of his panic attack from her.

When they entered the eastern part of town, Luhan asked Cheonsa for the location. She pointed to a run-down bar that looked like it had never been cleaned. However, it still looked quiet good compared to the worser-looking café beside it.

Luhan pulled over and got out of his car. He looked around, a bit afraid that some kind of gang would suddenly come out and attack them. It was needless to say that the cause of his panic attacks could be hiding anywhere in the dark parts of town, waiting for him to let his guard down to strike mercilessly when he least expected it.

Cheonsa entered the bar and he followed her. The inside part of the bar was, unfortunately, not much better than the outside. It was dark and dusty. Thick, cigarette smoke floated through the air, scattering everywhere inside the bar.

As if she were already used to it, Cheonsa didn’t even bat an eyelid at the scene in front of her. Instead, she approached one of the bartenders. She whispered something to him and he nodded; Luhan was a bit too far away from them so he couldn't hear what was she saying.

Then, she walked towards one of the empty seats behind the bar. The dim light from the nearest lamp fell onto her face, making it shine in a mysterious and ominous way. Luhan didn’t know whether he should love it or hate it. This bar and the strange atmosphere made her seem like a completely different person. Someone Luhan didn’t know anything about.

Cheonsa stared at him with an undecipherable expression. Luhan stared back at her confusedly. She whispered something with her lips, but the dimness of the lights made it hard for him to understand what she had said.

He was about to open his mouth to ask her to repeat her words with a louder voice, but the sudden presence of someone made him stop.

The stranger appeared from behind Cheonsa and stood towering over her. He rested his arms on her shoulders, back-hugging her, and propped his chin on top of her head, nuzzling her dark hair.

Even in the dim lighting, Luhan could see the glimmer that came from the stranger's mouth piercing. He could see his dyed blonde hair shining in the dark. He could see the malicious glint in his eyes. Luhan could see his lips turned into a satisfied half-smirk as he eyed him.

Most of all, he could see how, in the midst of this heart-shattering moment, Cheonsa smiled a little. She smiled a really happy and sincere smile. It was hidden beneath her cold gaze, but he could still see it. It was hard to miss the way her hands moved up to hold the strange man’s embracing hands.

“This is my boyfriend,” Cheonsa stated, her eyes looking straight at him.

Hours later, Luhan was lying in his dark room, alone. He stared at the black, empty ceiling and finally realized what she had whispered to him.

“I’m sorry.”

Author’s Note:

I have never gone to any bar so I don’t know how to describe the setting. I’m sorry if there are any wrong details in my description.

I don’t like the Exo-Apink coupling. It was hard enough that they were taking Infinite and SHINee from me. I mean, I like them and their songs especially my my and no no no. But I hope they are just friends. Nothing more.

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