“What is the status of this patient?”

 

“Her heart rate is decreasing, sir...we have to save the babies…”

 

“Alright do all we can to keep them alive right now...we can’t afford to lose three lives”

 

“Jin….”

 

“What’s going on What is happening?!”

 

“....Jin I am right here...I’m okay….”

 

“Alright Baby #1 has been delivered and 2 is shortly on the way…”

 

“WHY IS SHE BLEEDING SO MUCH?!”

 

“Someone get him out of here and baby number 2 has been delivered at well.”

 

“Doctor, her heart is decreasing at a rapid pace.”

 

“Please, that’s my wife...YOU HAVE TO SAVE HER!”

 

“Jin...Don’t let me go...please….”

 

“Jen! Jen! You need to wake up Baby...Can you hear me please, don’t go I love you! JEN JEN…..”

 

 

♪    ♪    ♪    ♪    ♪    ♪    ♪    ♪    ♪    ♪    ♪

 

"Babe…Are you okay…you're sweating again…"

 

I knew that voice...that was the voice of my fiance; it seems that I was having that nightmare again. I was in the studio with Jin and his group for the final record practices. Johnny wanted everyone to hop into the studio just to see where the men were at vocally and physically for this big concert. All the groups were here today and it seemed that I fell asleep just as Jin and KAT TUN went onto the dance floor. While they all practiced I drifted off into that nightmare I keep having about giving birth. In this nightmare I am dying giving birth to our children and everytime I dream this I feel my body weaken and I can hear Jin screaming my name to keep fighting and to not leave him alone. This dream scares me because I can’t bare the thought of dying like this and never meeting my children. It seems this time around it really messed with my body and caused some sweat to form on my forehead.

 

I’ve told Yamapi and Kame about this and they think it's just nerves and I hope that they are right because I wouldn’t want this life to just slip away. I have yet to tell Jin about this dream too because I know he under so much stress already with this huge concert and I don’t need his mind to be thinking about me dying right now. I can see the concern in his face too as he stares at me so I have to smile back like everything is okay. As I look down at my stomach and feel my babies kicking letting me know that it’s okay. I smile knowing that little precious life is safe and on its way soon.

 

“I’m okay,” I say reassuringly, “I guess it was just a little warm in the dance studio.”

 

“Jen -Chan,” Kame smiled on his way over to me and Jin.

 

Kame quickly sat down next to me and told Jin to get something to drink since he seemed hot and sweaty from the dance practice. Jin refused to leave me because he was concerned about the sweat that formed on my head. It took Kame and I a bit to convince him that I was fine and that he needed to take care of himself. Jin rolled his eyes and went out the room mumbling something under his breath. Kame rolled his eyes right back and said something too fast for me to understand and then he looked to me with a reassuring look. Yamapi our friend from newS happened to be in the room as well and Kame over as soon as Jin left as well. Both of them were very concerned with my nightmare it seemed and so that Jin wouldn’t have to worry they came over to talk to me about the things I have been on my mind.

 

“How are you feeling” Yamapi asked.

 

“Not good it seems…I was watching you while we were dancing. Did you have that dream again,” Kame said bluntly.

 

I nodded and held my stomach…I hated to sound like a broken record but what if my dreams were trying to tell me something. Was it telling me that I was too young for this and my body couldn’t handle it? I have been trying my best to keep my body strong and I hope that it would all be okay. Ever since I got back from Japan I have been doing all that I could to stay healthy and trying to remain as stress free as possible. Some mornings I even go to this swimming class that helps relieve the tension my body feels throughout the day. I have been so scared to give birth that I am reading up all I can to prepare for it. I have even visited some hospitals and spoke to different nurses and kept up with my appointment yet, my mind still seems to be thinking otherwise.

 

“Do you think it will happen…can my body handle this birth? This dream keeps on scaring me,” I sighed.

 

"What dream," Akanishi suddenly said.

 

He knew that Kame was trying to get him out of the room for a reason and he managed to sneak back in before any of us could notice. I turned slowly to see him there standing there with a face of concern and frustration. Ever since the affair with Kame, I hate when Jin would try to keep secrets from me out of concern that he would cheat again. One thing that we swore to each other in couple’s therapy was to make sure no secrets were kept from each other. This must have felt like something odd to him since I was telling Kame and Yamapi something over telling him first.  I guess Jin finally caught onto that every time he stepped away Kame and Yamapi came over to check up on me. I knew I couldn’t hold the dream secret any longer but, I didn’t think he would figure it out so soon because, I really didn’t want to give him another thing to worry about.

 

"Well…is anyone gonna tell me what’s going on here or I am just gonna have to find out another way," Jin a little more frustrated that before.

 

I looked at the boys and they reassured me that maybe it was time to let Jin on the dream that I have been having.  We all told him about the dream and how it was a recurring one and I was scared about it and how I have been doing my best to not let it rain bad thoughts on most of my judgements. Jin listened carefully to each word we said as if he was analyzing the whole dream for himself. His expression changed from judgment to fear as I was predicting in the first place; I knew telling him wasn’t the best idea but he asked to know.

 

"The sound of that dream does scare me but I feel that it couldn’t happen. Your seven months now and you have been well at each doctor’s appointment. You’ve been doing all that you can do," Jin sighed.

 

“I don’t know…I’m not sure,” I said looking down.

 

“That’s true,” Kame said.

 

“But, it’s good that she is cautious though because life could change in an instant and at hospitals miracles don’t always happen. It's here body and she has every right to be concerned right now but, as Jin said I think you are doing fine and now it's just a matter of time before your water will break and then the birthing process will begin” Yamapi asked.

 

"What are we quoting Code Blue now…," Jin shot back.

 

A part of me found humor in what Jin just said to Yamapi’s current project. Code Blue was a medical drama that Yamapi was involved in where he played a doctor working in very traumatic and dangerous situations. I watched it every week and I was happy because, besides newS this was something different for Yamapi to do. His show just got renewed for a second season so in between these practices and filmings a lot of these medical like lines were stuck in his head. Sometimes talking about medical like situations were becoming almost like second nature to him because of all his hard work. Yamapi just stuck his tongue out at Jin and I laughed because, I knew Yamapi was somewhat annoyed at Jin for picking on his drama. It was true that he quoted such a horrible scene but it was true.; there are sometimes cases were women die during birthing and so I had every right to be thinking the way I did and almost  preparing for the best and the worst.

 

“I think you will do just fine,” said a voice from behind me.

I turned to see that Johnny had came to the studio to watch the guys practice and here they were talking to me. All three apologized for sitting around me just chatting but, he did not scold them for doing just that. He knew that they were working as hard as they could and breaks were needed. They all bowed once more before heading back over to the dance floor and beginning their practices again. It seems he too overheard the conversation that I had with the guys and he expressed that he believed that I would be okay. He said that his wife use to be that way and their baby turned out to be just fine. Hearing him speak made me feel a lot better about the situation and I did feel like I was going to be all right. Nothing was going to stop me and death would not be a fear. It if came to me then fate wanted it to be that way. If not I was sure that I would live my life with Jin just fine.

 

The fact that Johnny spoke so casually with me about this definitely put some easy feelings back into my heart. Maybe they were all right that I was going to be just fine and that no harm was going to come my way. I was truly grateful to have these men talk to me when my mind was so warped from a pathetic nightmare. The only thing that kept me curious now was the fact that Johnny was still here sitting beside me; I was hoping that he was just observing the practice and not interfering with everything that has been going on.

 

“Kitagawa-San is something wrong,” I asked.

 

“No, not at all I am just happy to see Jin finally happy” Johnny laughed.

 

I turned to look at him, “You truly feel so?”

 

“Yes, I never knew that you could change his world but somehow you managed to. Before you came Jin was a wild boy and his mind was all wrong due to the break up with Kame and the fact that I kept their relationship hidden from the media. He wouldn’t listen too much of the things we told him to do and he felt as if his actions made him the greatest person in the world; his ego was strong and I was worried that he was going to go down a bad path. We knew that a good partner would help him work harder but, I didn’t think that you would change his whole world like this. He will soon be a father and down the line a husband as well,” Johnny said.

 

I turned to look at him, “I know this was a roller coaster for you and I am sorry it has caused you some trouble.”

 

“At first I shall admit you both put me through a whirlwind there but, I am happy to see him so dedicated again and willing to fight for what he believes in. You helped saved him and showed him the light where the darkness almost won its battle with him.,” Johnny said.

 

I never thought I was such an impact to Akanishi as I was. I came to Japan with the thoughts of just dancing and not once did it cross my mind that I would find love out here. When I came to Japan I thought that this was my only was of making it in the world and showing the world what I was truly passionate about. My passions introduced me to a man who helped make me feel confident and also proud of myself when I jumped on stage to dance. A man who showed me that love sometimes strikes you when you least expect it. A man that was willing to love me with all that he had but, also a man who sometimes let his past consume him. It took us both down somewhere where we didn’t know our relationship would go and in the end Fate presented us with two lives to help us to keep fighting for the love we shared together.  I guess I helped awaken the soul within him that was buried in the darkness.

 

“For you to thank me in such a way I would have to thank you as well, Kitagawa-San. You had chose me out of the many girls that auditioned for such a position with your company and I was so excited. I can’t thank you enough for the life that you have given me,” I smiled.

 

“Then make me proud,” Johnny smiled, “Just promise me that you and Jin will do all you can with them and make sure to give them a good life. I know you two can do it.

 

“You have my word, Kitagawa-San,” I smiled.

 

✪

-END OF CHAPTER 24-