Another morning peaked through the window of our bedroom. I woke up quietly staring into the eyes of my fiance; he looked so peaceful in his sleep. Seeing him sleep like this made me  happy that things have gotten better for us. It was only just a couple of months ago when I could see the stress in his eyes, the constant tossing and turning from his nightmares. It was something so hard to watch and now I can see that his mind is finally at peace. I am home with him now alongside our babies that are on the way. I am close to five and a half months now and they are growing restless. There are times at night where the two of them just wiggle all around and I can’t get comfortable. I try to lay still in all their chaos because, I hate waking Jin up sometimes. There are even nights where he falls asleep with his hand on my belly and he wakes up just to see if I’m okay. I always assure him that I am fine and that this will get better. There are nights where they are so restless that Jin talks to them and sings them lullabies. To me moments like these are truly precious to me and I can’t be any happier where I am. Sure, we had bumps in the road at the beginning of this pregnancy but, nothing was going to stop us from raising these children. We are going to work our very hardest to see that no matter what they will always be happy with what we do for them in life. I never want to see them cry or suffer, I will provide them with whatever they will need.

 

As I lay here thinking about all of this Jin began to stretch and open his eyes. I was sitting up now holding my stomach greeting Jin with a good morning smile. He smiled back and he sat up in the bed gently kissing my lips to greet me as well. His arms wrapped around me and I could feel the babies begin to move a little faster. My babies did you know when your daddy is close by, I thought.

 

“They are already on the move so early today. Did you sleep alright,” Jin asked.

 

“Surprisingly it was the first time in a few nights where I didn’t wake up once. They seemed to start moving around once my eyes opened,” I replied.

 

“I guess they know you’re going to be a bit busy today. Are you sure you don’t want me to cancel my meeting and come with you,” Jin asked.

 

“I’ll be fine...don’t you worry. James is going to join me today so you don’t have to worry about me being alone,” I assured Jin.

 

Jin’s eyes weren’t too sure about this and I don’t blame him for being concerned but, I didn’t want him to cancel his work schedule for my own. Unlike most women during pregnancy, I didn’t want to stay home and just lounge around. I wasn’t interested in doing lamaze classes or any of those pre-mommy things. I was bored and I wanted to work; I knew not to strain myself so I did small things to keep myself busy. I was doing a few modeling gigs for maternity clothing and also appearing on some variety shows because, to most people I had reached “celebrity status”. It feels weird to say that but, it was true; I was engaged to one. Paparazzi would still photograph me from time to time but, they would never cross their boundaries. They stayed in distance photographing my “pregnancy fashion” calling me the, Styling Mom to Be in magazines. I found it all funny and almost a relief that they were giving me space. Ever since what happened to Kame they have been so much better to us.

 

Even as I look back at those moments I am also happy to say Kame has gotten well and is still mildly recovering. Its been a few weeks now and his developments in recovery have been truly outstanding. His physical therapists have said they haven’t worked with someone so dedicated in a while and he’s a breath of fresh air. I was so happy to hear all that whenever they said that too because, I know he’s dying to get back to performing and doing what he does best. It gave Jin some downtime to rest and what not but, at the end of the day I know the guys loved to work together and see their fans. I missed seeing Kame around and I am sure he was going crazy in his own way not being able to do what he wants to.

 

Jin and I got ready for the day and wished each other good luck on all of our travels and work today. Saying goodbye was getting harder for Jin too because, even though its still so early for the babies, he swears that he’s going to be working when I give birth. I have to remind him that we still have a way to go so he needs to relax. I’m pretty sure that things won’t happen the way Akanishi is thinking. I gathered up my things along with my growing pup, Lightning. He was also my little baby and I couldn’t go anywhere without him. We headed through the elevator out to the car that had my boss waiting inside.

 

“Good morning...how are you feeling today,” James asked.

 

“I am good and ready to go to today’s shoot,” I smiled.

 

“Excellent this company has been dying to work with you ever since you announced your pregnancy. They have chosen 6 outfits for you to try today. You don’t have to do all six in case you get tired but, they figured they would give you a few options to try out.,” James continued.

 

“Then let’s do them all,” I laughed.

 

When I wasn’t with Jin, the band, or Yamapi, I have always been with my boss. Throughout the beginning of my career as model, James has truly become a close friend of mine and even though he is my boss he also acts as my manager. Alot of people were constantly surprised by him being by my side as I worked because he was in charge of Rakuen Modeling. We had so many models and managers at the company and everyone followed the rules carefully so we rarely have issues at the company. James also has his assistants all around so its not like he has to be with me all the time today he just wanted to accompany me.

 

When we got to the location it wasn’t as bad as I thought it was going to be. It was actually a ton of fun. I was on and off my feet and keeping hydrated. I knew I was working a lot harder than I usually did with this shoot and it was starting to get to me. From all the different outfits and pretending to push the stroller, carrying a fake diaper bag, it was starting to feel tough on my back. The director of the shoot allowed me some time to rest so I decided to go back and just relax my body so I wouldn’t bring harm to the babies. I spread myself out on the lounge couch there and drank some cool water. As easy as it was for me to relax it was also easier for me to hear things outside my dressing room.

 

“ I just don’t understand why they are glorifying this girl.”

 

“I know I feel wrong even being a part of this project.”

 

“ Children exposed to the wild life of their easy mother...typical american girl so easy…”

 

“How could Akanishi even get involved with her in the first place?”

 

“If you ask me...I think when he left he should have stayed with Kamenashi-San and let her suffer…”

 

I could hear them talking and what they had to say about me and Jin. Their words cut through my skin like razors. I had never really heard people talk so negatively about our relationship. I was so use to the positive talking that this stung a bit to my heart as well. I get that even though we are living in the 2000’s racism can still be a factor whether we want to regard it or not it happens. In our world sometimes it happens sometimes but not always and I want people to know that. Sometimes people here have treated me different because I am American. I am not only American but, also a Latin American since my family was from Puerto Rico. Jin is Japanese and it has never bothered me one bit and its sad that people judge me based on where I am from. I get that in my country things can get a little crazy and sadly, in some cases we are misjudged by the regions we are from and how some people’s mannerisms may be. In other countries we are viewed as sometimes crazy, rude, or party people...its not always like that. We also have values, hopes, dreams, and family-oriented lives, its just sometimes some people don’t live the same way as we do.

 

Another thing I know I am being judged for is the age difference between Jin and I. There is a six year difference in age between us and its not that much of an to me. We are both young adults here and we made the decision to get involved with each other. I know people look as a big but it isn’t so much. What bothers them more is that I am 19 and having these children. The average in this country to marry is between 25-30 years of age. I know some people see it as a shotgun wedding because of our children but, Jin wants a family and we just started a little bit early. Jin’s mother supports me too because, she said her and her husband also faced the same issues when they were younger. She had Jin very young and Jin’s brother three years later. By 20 years of age she had two children so I was very much like her. I knew with the birth of her grandchildren that we were going to grow closer together and I was happy with that.

 

I could even now hear them talking awfully about Jin and what had happened with Kame. How many times did people have to bring this up...we were so pass this and yet they still wanted to talk about it. Some people think that Jin is going to do it again and somehow ruin me more. They felt as soon as the babies are born that they will stress Jin out and how he will leave us all for something like Kame. It was thoughts like this that made me wanna break down and cry. Why did people judge us so much and why couldn't they just let us be? When would we be subjected to our own happiness.  I just had to keep thinking positively and I would be able to finish this shoot and get away from the toxic women that were talking outside my dressing room. I had to remind myself that after today I probably wouldn’t have to see them ever again and I wouldn’t be upset by them. They upset me a bit so I wiped away the tears that did fall from eye from their snide comments. As I went to get up I could hear them instantly stop talking as if someone was there.

 

“ I...we didn’t expect..”

“you to come to the shoot”

“ we’re sorry for what we were saying...”

 

“We mean no harm to your fiance at all…”

 

“We’re sorry for what we have said…”

 

Was Jin here at the shoot; was that the reason for them to suddenly stop? I heard him his teeth at them and suddenly he stood in the doorway looking back at them with a dirty look. They upset him for sure and he wasn’t going to let them get to him so he continued towards me. He saw that I heard the whole thing and went back out there to talk to them. It didn’t seem like an angry confrontation but, he was talking to them in a heavy manner. One by one each girl came in and apologized for what they said about us before heading back to where they were suppose to be for their work. When Jin came back into the dressing room he hugged me and gently wiped the remaining tears from my eyes.

 

“Are you okay,” he asked.

 

“Yeah, I guess not everyone is a fan of us after all,” I sighed.

 

“Well that’s them...don’t let them get to you okay. It’s all about us and I have no problem of keeping people like that out of our lives,” Jin reassured me.

 

“Okay…”

 

It was all I could say right now because, I was starting to feel exhausted. I have been on my feet all afternoon and with these two bundles of joy wriggling around so much I was loosing a ton of energy. As I walked with Jin we ran into the director of the shoot and he wanted to speak with Jin. He was saying how honored he was to meet him and how much fun he had shooting with me today. He was so pleased with what was done that we didn’t have to shoot anymore photos. I was actually surprised he said all that I now had the opportunity to go home and rest. I went back to the dressing room and gathered my belongings before saying goodbye to the grew and congratulating everyone for all their hard work today. When I finally met up with Jin he stood there with a smiling face and a random umbrella.

 

“Did it start to rain out,” I asked.

 

“Yeah, its pouring buckets out there and I didn’t want you to get drenched,” he smiled.

 

We huddled close to each other as we got to the car. Before I could get in he put the umbrella in my hand as he went into the trunk to get something. He placed a pillow on my headrest and told me to get into the car. I sat and laid my head back on the soft pillow and then I was engulfed by a warm blanket as the door began to close. When Jin ran in he tossed the umbrella in the back and kissed my forehead. I could hear him saying rest up as he began to drive and that is what I managed to do. My mind began to drift off into dreamland as sleep overcame me.

❤             ❤            ❤            ❤        ❤

 

When I finally came to I found myself wrapped in a warm blanket like before. This time I wasn’t in the car anymore. I was upstairs in my loft right about the living room on our very long lounge chair. I was surrounded by comfortable pillows and Jin to the far right. He was sitting up in the corner also in the blankets with me. He had his reading glasses on and seemed to be reading this large packet of paper as he sipped on his lavender tea.

 

“What’s that,” I asked.

 

“I have been asked to join a film as the lead role. The movie is called, Bandage and the director wants me to play a character named Natsu. Its about a rock band in the 90’s trying to make it in the music industry,” he explained.

 

“That’s so exciting Jin,” I exclaimed, “Please tell me you are doing it.”

 

“Of course I am not going to pass this opportunity up,” he laughed.

 

I was so excited for Jin to take on this movie role. This would be his first film as a lead actor. Jin has been in dramas and television minis but, never a movie on this scale. This was a major opportunity for him and I know he is going to do so well. As he always does he will have my support as he works hard on this film. His days might get busier now but, its okay. By the time he finishes who knows what will happen but, no matter what I will remain by his side as the does the biggest thing of his life.

✪

-END OF Chapter 21-