“Are you ever going to wake up from your slumber or am I just gonna sit here all morning watching you sleep?”

 

I knew that voice all too well and just hearing him right now annoyed me; usually people would not say that about those they are engaged to but today was one of those mornings. I didn’t sleep well the evening before and I think I honestly fell asleep somewhere between the times of 3 a.m and 4 a.m; so waking me up at 8 right now was not the best move for Jin. Normally sleep was an easy thing for me but as these babies continue to grow and squirm inside of me; their movements keep me up. Sometimes I don’t Jin realises how hard it is for me to sleep now with them constantly moving since most of the time he is sleeping he is knocked out for the evening. As much as I wanted to sleep the old ways I did, my doctor recommended ways for me to alleviate the pain within my body.

 

According to women like me who were pregnant with twins to either sleep on my side or lay on my pay with body pillows wedged around me or between my legs. He said it would help strain my body but, also keep these little ones from going crazy. Some nights it would honestly work while on others they’d be moving around so much you would think there was a club inside this womb; on nights like that I would toss and turn and Jin would say they wanted to dance like me. Even so when I think about it this will over be over before I know it because, I am now reaching my sixth month of pregnancy; it will just be another three before I meet my children.

 

“Hey,” he said into my ear again, “Come on, I made you a good breakfast today.”

 

Just him talking about food drove me crazy too; Jin would do all he could to see that I was eating well but, some days he would over do the healthy eating. It's not that I wasn’t eating healthy but, some days he felt like he had to be my nutritionist when in fact I had books that were helping me on that. The worse days for me was when I crave certain junk foods or just random combinations like Marshmallow Fluff on top of saltine crackers. I swear these twins were just giving me more of a sweet tooth and some days I worried because, I felt like I was eating too much and maybe putting on more weight than I should during this pregnancy.

 

“Jen please wake up ❤~,” he said in a kind manner.

 

“I’M AWAKE,” I yelled sitting straight up from my covers.

“Well, it seems the demon is up,” he teased walking out of the room.

 

I felt bad (truly I did) but, mornings like this when he pestered me only drive me to the point of madness. I don’t mean to get mad at him on purpose it more so my hormones being out of whack. They say when you're pregnant you experience a lot of emotions at random and they can change in a matter of moments. One of the common ones that would come out of me was either crying or yelling because my mind really doesn’t know how to handle the little things in life right now so it made it easy for me to just burst into anger. Somedays I wonder how Jin even puts up with me being pregnant; for one he is a brave man.

 

I apologized for getting all moody and told him that I would be down in just a few I just needed to clean up from the little bit of time that I just got to sleep.I dragged myself to the shower and the warm waters that soothed my body. Showers and baths were my best friend during this pregnancy because it would help me feel free from the straining my body would do. I managed to throw on a little natural make up and I ended up putting on a pretty purple shirt and some maternity yoga pants. I brushed my hair into a headband and made my way to our dining area and I could see him finishing up making breakfast. I could see that he was pretty excited to be cooking whatever it was.

 

As I made my way into the dining room to see what Jin made he kept moving around so I wouldn’t see what it was. He kept saying it was a surprise and full of sweet things.Considering I wouldn’t normally eat something so sweet the little ones inside me seemed to make me crave whatever he was making. The scene in the air seemed to be familiar but my sense of smell can sometimes be off thanks to this pregnancy. Finally Jin turned around carrying plates over to the table; today he made a delicious looking platter of pancakes and a fruit salad. He went with a more American styled breakfast then what we usually ate in the morning. It was definitely a surprise to me and I couldn’t wait to eat such a treat as this.

 

How is it," Jin asked.

 

“Delicious,” I said after the first bite of the meal.

 

Not only was Jin a talented artist but also a very good chef; whenever he wanted a turn in the kitchen he would make some really unique dishes. He would incorporate things he learned from his family but also, thing he use to survive on when he lived in California.We ate breakfast as we usually did but, today it wasn’t so easy. As I ate my meal it seemed that the babies were very active today. Maybe they were happy with their father's cooking that made it happy. All I knew was that they needed to calm down because the movements were hurting me. After breakfast I helped Jin clean up the mess he made and then we would have the entire afternoon to ourselves. Luckily today was a calm day that wasn’t going to be filled with doctor appointments or last minute items for the room. Today was a really good day to just be home together with no one bothering us.

During our afternoon together we had a few chores to do around the house. Jin did most of the chores since he felt that it wasn’t necessary for me to do any of it according to him. He felt that I should be relaxing instead of walking around the house. So while Akanishi did all the work around the house I played with Lightning on the couch. Lightning has grown a lot too since we got him months ago. A lot of changes have also taken place with my puppy that it had me thinking about life. Seeing growth in anything is intriguing and it proves that anything can happen; whether it is a human being or some other type of living thing. This is the part that really interests me; anything can happen over time and it’s just a part of the life we live. The word that holds all of this together is a thing called fate and we have it in our daily lives whether we want to believe it or not. You can believe it's not there but, in fact it will always be there and no matter what you do it will remain in its place. For instance Lightning was once a baby and overtime he has grown and become our little protector. Not only is he a companion to Jin and I but he also is a part of our lives and he is like our fur child. Once Jin finished the tasks he was doing he came over to the couch to come join lightning and I.

 

"What are you thinking about," Jin asked as he cuddled next to me.

 

“Just random things that come to my mind,” I smiled.

 

He got up and laid across the couch placing me into his arms and my head lying on his chest. I loved when we spent time together like this; it showed me he was truly a great guy with such a sweetheart. I felt his hands travel down to my stomach where the ended up remaining. I cuddled close to him relaxed in his arms feeling safe from the world. We did this a lot and this was our time to just be together away from the chaos that surrounded us. There was no paparazzi in this apartment, there were no rehearsals to take place, nor constant scurrying away from people that wanted to interfere with our lives. In this home we felt safe as if no wrong could ever happen here and we felt like no one could get in our way.

 

As he held his hand on my stomach I could feel the twins wiggling around inside. They must have known their father was here and they kept kicking where his hands were. It was almost like they were eager to meet him. As he held Jin’s own heart racing a bit and he almost felt as if he was shaking. I looked up to see small tears fall from his eyes as he looked off in the distance; something was bothering and I needed to get on top of what it was.

 

“Jin,” I said trying to look up at him, “What’s wrong?”

 

"I’m scared," he managed to say.

 

“About,” I said nervously.

 

"That I am going to mess up with this as a father."

 

“How would you do that,” I said trying to stop him from crying.

 

Jin kept talking about how he would mess up with this baby and not be a good father due to all the things he did in the past. From his late night parties in LA to his affair with Kame only a while ago. The affair with him and Kame was something hard to handle and I know we were slowly working through it and Kame hasn’t interfered in our engagement since our return to Japan. If anything Kame almost lost his life trying to keep me safe from losing my babies and losing Jin. Jin has been doing all he can to assure me that nothing will happen like that again and he has shown it time and time again but, he still struggles with the thoughts of what occurred between them. A part of me will always worry in the back of my mind but, I don’t ever want to lose him again; I know both him and I will fight as hard as we can to keep this relationship alive. I forgive him every time and it has me wonder…will he ever be able to forgive himself?

 

He then sat me up and got up for a glass of water. He did that when he was nervous and he just needed to calm down. On his way to the couch he got to his knees and put his head to my stomach. The baby was active again so he could feel its movements. He smiled kissing my stomach knowing that his baby was reacting to his actions.

 

"Hey there," he said as he began to go to my stomach, "How are you both doing in there? You’re going to come out soon and we can’t wait for the day when we see you. Hey babies I just wanted to let you know that Daddy is sorry for all his wrong. I’m going to give you the world, and I’ll be there for you no matter what. When you get out you’ll be able to see the pretty ring I put on your mom’s finger to prove to you both I am going to be here and I am not going anywhere anytime soon…anytime EVER."

 

Just hearing him say something as gentle and sweet as that my heart was taken away. Tears of joy fell down my face just in amazement of a man Jin was. He truly was so sweet and caring and I couldn’t ask for any other kind of guy as him. When he says things like this he shows me that he really does care about us and that we will always come first in his life. This is why I am happy to have a man like him in my life. I want nothing more then the man that stands before me. People like my anti-fans think I am stupid for doing such things so young. At first I kind of thought like them but, age means nothing to me. Age is nothing but a number and his life means more to me then anything. Sure I am 19 and he is 25 but, I know that I am capable of starting a family with him now. Every road of life has its bumps and potholes in it but you learn to patch them up and get past them. Every road has its accident and you analyze it and then go on with your life and every road has its twists and turns; and you get past them by finding your way. We have a long way to go but, we’ll get past it because I believe in us.

 

♪          ♪          ♪          ♪          ♪          ♪          ♪         

 

"What?! Kitagawa-San I can’t do something like this right now. Yes, I understand but this is more important to me then my career right now. Ahh, so it’s only a one night thing. But, that means there will be practices and press conferences and…This better not take me away from fiancé and the twins…Yes I understand…Thank you too…Goodbye."

 

I guess I had fallen asleep on the couch shortly after Jin was talking to the babies and I could hear him cursing up a storm. Something was bothering him and I didn’t know what. I sat up from the couch covered in a warm blanket he must have placed on me when I fell asleep. I could see him from the corner of my eye standing in the hallway with his head against the wall. His hands just in his hair and he looked as if he was about to punch someone.

 

“Jin, what’s wrong you're never this mad…” I said touching his back trying to calm him down.

 

"Johnny and his ing last minute decision out of nowhere," he grumbled.

 

“What are you talking about,” I replied.

 

"Johnny wants to have a concert to calm us all down for a while until we work on some new material. He’s having a final altogether JE performance which means it’ll be a one night show and it will be about two months from now," he managed to say.

 

“So it’ll be okay,” I said.

 

"It's just it's so close to your due date…I am finishing filming the movie and things can happen and I want to be there for you not the concert," he said.

 

“Jin, babies are usually born in the ninth month so you have nothing to worry about at all. I say go for it because, it would be cool to see everyone one last time before things get a little crazy,” I smiled.

 

Jin sighed knowing that was I said was right and  his mind settled it was going to be one last JE concert before our babies would come into the world. I couldn’t wait to watch everyone perform from the crowd. Sure it would have been fun to be onstage to dance like I use to but, I will watch with a smile across my face. This last performance for sometime would be a reflection of how far we have come in our relationship and what brought us together in the first place. When I mentioned that to Jin his face lit up and I knew he had the courage to step on stage again; anything to give him courage I will do it and I can’t wait to see this performance.

✪

-END OF CHAPTER 23-