I didn’t think everything would change in this way; I was truly ready to raise these children on my own. I was planning on working hard here and when they were born I would make my return to Japan. I would work occasionally with James on hiring new models. Instead of modeling on my own I would come back to his company and act as a director for his program. If I did return to Japan it would be known though and my pregnancy could have been discovered and Jin would have to be aware of his children somehow. I guess I never really thought it clearly because its just one of those things were I wasn’t sure how to go on. When you have kids your future is never set and you just have to go with the flow of it. I guess with all that happened I wasn’t thinking straight. Then when Jin came here to New Jersey I let all those plans go and felt like I needed to come up with something better.

 

    All these thoughts are within my head and I am not sure how to feel really. Jin is sleeping next to me in my room and he looks so content right now. He looks so sickly though at the same time. He must have been so stressed out with everything. Between his crazy schedule and probably restless nights because of our situation. I am happy to see him but, a part of me isn’t fully ready to trust him again. I know all our problems won’t get better in a day and I have to just keep faith in him and our future. This engagement ring doesn’t mean we are getting married right away but, it shows that he wants to prove to me I will be the only person he will love as long as we both shall live. Akanishi explained he wasn’t just doing this for them but, because he knew he wanted to do this for us.

 

Another part of me was happy to have him back here too, even though he had that affair with Kame, my heart longed for him. I really do love Jin and I felt really betrayed by Kame. I don’t know what was going through his head when he did it and I had no interest to know at this point. The trust he has to earn with me isn't going to happen overnight; I am not easy like that. From here we're going to find ourselves again and do the right thing for our children. I know most people say once a cheater always a cheater but when I thought about what had happened, how Jin came for me, and how he is right now...he would't just be doing this for some chick....he really loves me...or so I hope he does. Right now we're going to work on us and when the babies get here it will be the ultimate test. I am even considering other options like couples therapy to help rebuild us.

 

    For now...I was here in this room and in this moment with him. I could feel the warm sunlight trying to peek its way through the curtains. Jin is still fast asleep and my mind still can’t wrap itself around what happened only a few hours ago. All I can do really is keep spinning this ring on my finger. I watch as the light hits the diamond causing rainbow swirls to happen all over the room around me. I can’t help but, feel captivated by all of this. As I continue to play with the ring I could feel Jin starting to move a bit more in his sleep. Only moments later Jin began to sit up against me now hold my hand in his. I guess he saw me playing with the ring on my finger. His hand gently places the ring in its upright position and gently closed my hand into his. I look down at him and even though he slept for so long he still looks so tired and stressed out.

 

    “I meant all that I said last night. You know you are my world right and I wouldn’t just do this spur of the moment,” Jin said groggily.

 

    “I know you meant what you said last night it’s just...things have been so crazy for us. One minute Jin, I felt like I was on top of the world. I had a career, a man who loves me, and a little puppy to come home to. The one time I felt safe in my life and you threw it away with Kame. How did you expect me to act considering I had just found out I was pregnant with your children,” I began.

 

    “You don’t know how bad I felt when I figured it all out. I let him take advantage of me...ruining our perfect home. Do you know how destroyed I felt? I thought I would never see you again,” Jin sighed.

 

    I could see the tears forming in his eyes and he truly meant what he was saying. He was really hurt by me leaving Japan. Back then I thought he was done with me when truly he was in love with me; he just got screwed over by someone who he considered his best friend. Jin began to say how he was losing himself out there. Kame had tried multiple times to try to get Jin to move on from me but, Jin knew that he only wanted me. Sure any sort of ual advances were tempting but, he knew it wasn’t the right thing to do and he would not expect any of it from Kame. He even said how he was drinking a lot trying to ease his pains of me not being there. He wasn’t too the point where he was addicted from the drinking but, his body fought back by causing him to be sick from time to time. I really didn’t think it was all like this and I felt like such a horrible person for leaving him too but, at the same time it helped me deal with what I could for the moment. I knew that Jin wanted to be with me more than anything in the world and although I am still healing from all he has done, I want to be with him too. I want to be with the father of my children and the man I will call my husband someday.

 

    “I’m so sorry for everything, Jen. I want nothing more in the world then you in my life. I know it won’t be easy but, I’ll do anything to have you come home. Just tell me what you want and I will do everything in my power to keep us together,” he said holding me close.

    

“Just promise me this will never happen again and I’m yours...forever,” I said kissing his forehead.

  

 He gently lifted himself to sit up close to me as he pulled me close to him. His warm hand gently slipped under my shirt to feel where our twins rested. I could feel their little bodies moving at the sudden touch of someone else. I could feel their little bodies kicking close to the area where his hand lied. I could see tears falling down his eyes and they moved on his hand. This was the first time that Jin could feel them and have an interaction with them. He mumbled under his breath how beautiful they were as he began to cry more. I knew he wanted to be a father more than anything in the world. KAT TUN wasn’t the only thing in his life now; these two little ones would become his everything. As he touched them a part of me knows we aren’t there just yet and we still have months away until I give birth to them. For now we both have to stay positive and continue to help them grow properly. I looked into his eyes gently brushing away all his tears his face began to change from sadness to a glimmer of light again.

 

   I felt him come close to my face as we kissed like the night before. His kiss was so warm and gentle like he has always been. I could feel my body warm up knowing that he was here and this was really happening. My heart began to race again and I felt at so much ease. I almost wanted to drift away to a moment before all the chaos and sadness. I sat on top of him kissing him passionately as we use to keeping mind of the little ones who were stirring a bit more from my movements. As I tried to kiss him more I could feel the babies kicking roughly. For a moment it almost felt like my breathing was cut off. I pulled away from our kiss and tried to rub my stomach trying to calm this restless babies. Jin laid me down onto the bed rubbing my stomach and humming a song to them. Although they weren’t in our arms yet the two stopped acting up and calmed. The pain was soon subsiding and he just looked at me with a smile of accomplishment.

  

 “Do you know the twins es yet,” Jin asked.

  

 “I want to but, a part of me wants it to still be a surprise,” I replied.

 

   “Then we shall keep it a secret until the day they are born. Either way we will be blessed with two of them...its just a matter of time before they are in our lives,” Jin smiled.

 

It was true we are still months away from the little ones but being pregnant with them meant that my body would be going through more changes. We both discussed the good and bad things that may happen along the way. I had to be cautious of my health and things that I eat. Not only that Jin needed to be home in a few days to get back to work. With him going back to work it would mean I would have to come home too. Especially since I am pregnant too I have to return to Japan soon. If I don’t go any sooner I can kill me and the babies because, there is a time limit to fly while being pregnant. Along with my return the announcement of my pregnancy would have to happen because, the babies were growing and I can’t hide my bump anymore. I know it would lead to more scandal and things for Johnny to explain and it could also risk the rest of Akanishi’s career.

 

“Does anyone know…,” I tried to ask.

 

“Yeah a little bit. There were rumors of what you said that night but, Johnny has never fully confirmed it. He was waiting from the official ok from both of us. He figured if paparazzi were to see anything on our way home we can confirm it then,” Jin began, “I know coming back together will be a sight alone. Its up to you we can do this prior to our flight or we can do it the minute we land and the articles begin to surface.”

 

It was a lot to think about for sure but, we had to face the music at sometime and say it. We sat and thought about scenarios for a bit but, figured it would be best for them to hear it from us the moment we get there. Then if they need to speak to Johnny about it then it can be done so. If they even want a press conference just like the last time then I will do it. I just hope that through all this they respect their boundaries and to not cause harm to me or my children. I want to give them the best life that they deserve without the intense life that Jin and I were accustomed to. Although I should know by now that this is the life we live thanks to our fame.

 

“Well I guess one thing we will have to do is pack up everything right,” Yamapi said opening the door to the bedroom.

 

“TOMA! You were listening the whole time,” Jin said tossing a pillow at him.

 

“Guilty,” Yamapi teased, “Well Jen, leave everything to us because you can’t do too much lifting. I know there’s not much to pack but, we will take care of it for you.”

 

Jin and Yamapi began to mumble mean things to each other as they walked out of the door. I laughed at the two of them arguing like they always did back when we were in Japan. I couldn’t believe it; I was finally returning to Japan after all these months. This time things would be a lot different and new lives would come in time. I wonder what kind of mother I will be to these children. All I know is that I will do anything and everything in my power to make them feel safe at all times. I am going to give them the life I never had. I am going to never leave their side. For now I would just have to sit here and book our flight home.

 

❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ A Few Days Later. . .❤ ❤ ❤ ❤

~Narita Airport~

 

The flight felt longer this time around and it wasn’t the most pleasant. It seemed like the little ones didn’t like the idea of flying either. They were restless and constantly kicking me. A few times I had to go to the bathroom to vomit which wasn’t the best thing to do for them. When I got back to my seat, the flight attendant made me a lemon tea that helped sooth me the rest of the way to Japan. Of course along with the long flight I was able to rest a lot. The plane I booked had these seats that you can turn into beds. Jin stayed by my side the entire time and I felt as such ease. I couldn’t believe that we were truly on our way back. As soon as I woke up from my rest Yamapi said we were finally back in Japan.

 

“Apparently a blog released a statement earlier saying that Jin was spotted on a flight home so there are a few fans waiting for us all,” Yamapi said.

 

“Was there anything about Jen,” Jin asked.

 

“No...I had her hide in between people along the way so the picture they snapped was of me and you,” Yamapi explained.

 

“Well I am sure there will be pictures now,” I sighed.

I got off the plane feeling okay and it seemed like the babies were resting now that I was finally standing on my two feet again. Jin looked at me with a smile as his hand outstretched to mine. I grabbed it and we made our way out of the walkway now towards the gate. Yamapi walked a few feet ahead of us and it made me feel better to have him with us. Jin and Yamapi were cautious to make sure no one would bump into us or crowd around us. We just wanted a safe way out of the terminal and to get to our car as soon as possible. Jin already had people getting our bags loaded into Jin’s car that waited for us at the other side of the airport. A part of me was very nervous but, knew that in time it would all be ok. It was so warm in the airport so I carried my jacket on the side of my purse to feel a little more comfortable. Akanishi saw that I took off my jacket and pointed out that you could see the belly now. I quickly tried to cover myself a little better but, it was just too warm.
  

 “If they see it...then let it be I guess,” I whispered, “Its bound to happen.”

 

I could see off to the side girls on their cellphone with signs saying how much they loved Akanishi and Yamapi. It was cute to see them all dressed up just to see their favorite celebrities. They all were on their phones waiting to capture a moment of seeing him in their life. I could hear a couple of them gasp at the site of the guys as a few looks also came my way. They saw me hand in hand with Akanishi and knew we were back together as a couple.Jin’s grip tightened and I knew that we were in for the crazy stuff now. I could hear the cameras capturing us together and the flashing from all the lights. In between the girls paparazzi also waited to see us.

 

“Oh my god! Jen D! She is pregnant! Look!,” one girl shouted.

 

A few fans gasped at the sight pointing it out now. I could hear them mumbling how the online rumors maybe true. Some were questioning if it was even Akanishi’s babies. They were referencing things I couldn’t believe how they knew a few days prior to me leaving how I was at the doctors and how it was all making sense now. Some paparazzi listening to these girls and asked them to share their sources. Another set of paparazzi began to make their way to where Jin and I walked. Yamapi stepped to my left keeping them away from getting near my stomach.

 

“Ms. D, is it true that you are really caring the child of Akanishi?”

 

“Yes, I am now if you would please kindly allow us to head home. I am feeling very uncomfortable around you all and this is not good for my children. Kitagawa-San will be releasing a statement later for now can we move on,” I smiled at them kindly.

 

“Children?! Are you claiming their is more than one child”

 

“Please wait until our official annoucement” I smiled again.

 

Surprisingly they respected that and slowly left us alone. I was very surprised by their actions and I was happy that they left us alone. I thought we would have a huge hassle but, it went pretty smoothly. Akanishi looked at me with a smile that he was glad that everything went pretty well. They continued to talk amongst each other as they continued to photograph us from a distance and some were already trying to get through to JE. We finally got to our car before saying goodbye to Yamapi. He told me to text him that we got in okay from everything. I hugged him goodbye and thanked him for all that he did for us.

 

 “At least we get to go home and relax. I bet you, the babies, and Lightning could get away from the chaos a bit,” he said kissing my forehead.

 

It was true, I wanted away from the chaos as soon as possible and I wanted to go to my home. I wanted to feel safe in the place where I knew that no wrong could happen. Sure some things did happen there but, I wanted to get passed it and start all over. Akanishi gently rode through the streets calmly but, with a gentle smile across his face. He was just happy to have me home but his smile always told me what he was thinking. His eyes and his smile proved his emotions and what he was feeling. I could read his face as if I was reading the pages out of a book.We pulled up to our apartment and he parked his car in the front parking space and the doorman came and began to take my luggage. I placed my jacket back on and Akanishi began to open the door for me.

 

“Jenna-Chan! Welcome back and congrats on your pregnancy,” Nana bowed as I made my way back into the apartment.

 

“Thank you Nana-Chan,” I said giving her a hug, “It’s good to see you too!”

 

We talked for a while about New Jersey and she secretly told me how much of a mess Akanishi was without me. She told me that there was nights where he would walk in crying or drunk. I told her all about what he said and she believe every bit of it. She knew Kame tried to stop by a few times too but, she knew Jin wanted nothing to do with him.

 

“At least now you can heal his heart now that you’re back in his life,” Nana whispered in my ear.

 

“I plan to,” I smiled.

 

I rejoined Akanishi who was waiting for me by the elevator. Our things were already placed inside and he looked curious. He thought that Nana may have told me something he didn’t want to know. Even though he did those things I still trusted him and this would not mess us up.

 

“Nana must have been really happy to see you,” he said.

 

“Yeah she was and it was good to see her,” I replied.

 

We made our way out of the elevator and reality began to set in. Our hallway was quiet as I liked it to be. The silence was always a good thing but, the memories came back to me. The last time I was in this hallway I was running out the door with tears streaming out my eyes. I just found out I was pregnant and I saw my boyfriend about to with Kame. Now it hit me, this was the first time I was going to be walking into the house were their scandal broke out. I was a little nervous to walk in there but, it was time to go inside.

 

I began to open the door when I noticed all of the lights were off in our apartment when I the lights I was greeted by all of our friends from JE and KAT TUN. Yamapi stood their with a silly smile on his face as if he knew this was going to happen the whole time.

 

“CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR ENGAGEMENT AND YOUR BABY,” They all shouted.

 

I was shocked to see all these people for my return to Japan. I really appreciated this and it was definitely a big surprise.As I looked around the party guests, I noticed that Kame was not among everyone. I guess he didn’t want to show up due to all the pain he caused along the way. I really wanted to talk to him but he was not here. I had this little part in me wanting to ask why he wasn’t here but I didn’t have the courage to ask such a thing. Today was about me not him; although maybe we should start over too. I was able to forgive Akanishi so he deserved a shot too. Maybe over time we shall be able to talk about what happened that one day. We had a small misunderstanding earlier when I met him but this one was a little harder than the last.

 

“Something wrong,” Jin asked knowing that I was surveying our crowd.

 

“No, not at all…” I smiled back.

 

Everyone wanted to be near me and they wanted to touch my stomach and to see if the  twins would kick them or if they could feel it. It was cute to see them all so fascinated with them. This showed me the support that I had from them and that if something ever bad happened; they would have someone to turn to.As they surrounded me I wondered what kind of life this child would have and the people that would be there for it. Would they be JE stars like their daddy or would want to dance like or model like me? All I know is that I want to give these children the world and nothing will stop me from making sure that everything goes well for them.

 

“Hello earth to Jen-Chan. You’re at your baby shower and we have presents for you to open. Can you come back to reality” Yamapi said gently.

 

I looked up at everyone and didn’t think I zoned out that bad and they tried to feel the baby. I nodded and sat in our living room and they began to bring all the gifts to me. It wasn’t necessary for them to do such a kind thing as this but they insisted that it needed to be done. Even Jin said he had something done for our baby. As we got together it seemed like they also had gifts for our little ones. The didn’t really need to do all this but, they did.

 

As I finished opening all the other groups gifts KAT TUN put together their own special gifts for our babies that would be born in the months to come. Each member sat in order which made me laugh because they always did things like this which would be odd. Since Kame wasn’t here I didn’t receive a gift from him. I didn’t expect much from him since I had a feeling he was upset with us anyways.

 

“I had something planned for when you came home. This gift I am saving for you till the very end so we shall go onto Taguchi next,” Jin smiled.

 

“Okay,” I replied, “So let’s see what you have for the babies.”

 

“I REALLY HOPE THAT THIS WILL BRING YOU AND YOUR BABY MUCH FUN IN THE NEAR FUTURE,” Junno smiled.

 

In the box was a baby pajamas with a chibi sunshine in the middle of it. It was surrounded by clouds and in the other box was a white t-shirt with sky patterned bottoms for me. It was very nice of Junno to buy a gift like this. It was as bright and cute like his smile.

 

“Thank you it’s so very sweet,” I said hugging him.

 

“I AM HAPPY TO KNOW THAT YOU LIKE IT,” Junno smiled.

 

“Okay so my gift is for now because I didn’t know what to get you. I picked up one of those parenting magazines and read that this is both good for the baby and you,” Koki said.

 

It was this CD player that you put music in. You could either listen to it yourself or you could put it on your stomach and it said that babies could hear the sounds it made. The box said it was good for baby development.

 

“I really like this one and I will definitely use it,” I smiled.

 

“I hope it will help you through the rest of your pregnancy,” Koki laughed.

 

“My turn,” Ueda said happily, “This gift is small but it took me a long time to make it and I hope that it will help you, Akanishi, and the babies when nights can be some what difficult.”

 

In Ueda’s gift was a CD made by him full of sweet baby songs and piano songs Ueda had composed for the babies. I placed the CD in the headphone player Koki had brought for me and it was very sweet and soothing.

 

“Ueda…it’s so beautiful. Thank you so much,” I smiled.

 

“Anytime,” Ueda hugged me.

 

“This one is for you, Jen. You’re going to need some help after the babies are born and this might be one way to help you relax at night.” said Maru.

 

Maru had bought me a spa kit that would help me relax at night and a free massage at the local spa that was well known for a massage that can ease any pain you had. I was looking forward to that one because these babies were already giving me back pains.

 

“I can’t WAIT to use this one,” I laughed.

 

“Well blame Akanishi for that one.” said Maru laughed back.

 

That had everyone and Maru laughing a lot. It was a slight adult like joke but very funny for him to say and I just smiled. The members of KAT TUN’s gifts were so very generous and I couldn’t imagine anything nicer than the gifts I received from them.

 

After a while we had cake and then everyone left wishing us the best of luck. They all promised to visit soon and throughout the rest of my pregnancy. I thanked them all for their gifts and the precious time we shared today.

 

“Now this is my special gift to you,” Jin said walking me towards our bedroom.

 

Instead we didn’t walk to our bedroom but where the back room laid usually empty. The door was shut and it looked a little different.

 

“Open it and see what’s inside,” Jin whispered.

         

   I couldn’t believe my eyes. Akanishi had put together a room for the babies. It was the cutest thing I have ever seen. He made the room a neutral color of white but the wooden cribs and toys all along the shelves kept it simple and uni for whatever we would receive. I couldn’t believe he did all this by himself. I hugged him and kissed him as everyone else came to check out the room too.

 

“Do you like it,” Jin asked.

         

   “I love it, Jin and I am sure our children will too,” I said.

           

These babies weren’t born yet but I couldn’t wait. The room was too cute for them and I am sthey will enjoy this special place. They won’t realize it right away but the style of it will be playful when they are ready to fully understand.

 

✪

-END OF Chapter 18-