He was nervous.  His mind screamed at him not to do it.  To keep his mouth shut.  To hide it, as he had for years.  It would be easier that way.  No risk of embarrassment.  No risk to his pride.  

But if he said nothing, nothing would change.  He hadn't come all this way to give up at the last second.  He'd made up his mind that today was the day.  To delay any longer would be cowardly.  Besides, no risk, no reward.

He tried to get a handle on his racing heart.  He stiffened his resolve.  And before his mind could come up with another excuse, he started his confession.

Ji Hyo sat, waiting at the cafe.  She missed the simple pleasure of sitting down with a cup of coffee.  When she was working, she was always drinking coffee in her van, on the way to a filming location or rushing to grab a sip in between takes.  There was no time to sit down, read a magazine, people watch, and just enjoy the hot, slightly bitter, aromatic beverage brewed from freshly roasted coffee beans.  Add a little cream for richness and body and some sugar to take the edge off and you had steaming cup of heaven.

Yes, life was good.  Her agent had called yesterday with some potential drama castings.  Eventually, she'd pick one and get back to work.  But for right now, a little rest and relaxation was perfect.  

She sat back, watching the people outside through the window, enjoying the moment, trying not to let her mind wander to him. 

He had called, asking to meet.  She had immediately agreed, unable or unwilling to say no.  She hadn't quite figured that out yet.  They'd been working together for years, but she was still unsure of her feelings.  

When they'd first met, she'd been in awe.  She was his fan.  It was an honor just to be on set with him.  He couldn't possibly understand how exciting it was for her to be on camera with the oppa she'd cheered on as a young girl.  

That same admiration made it hard for her to get close to him.  She didn't see herself as being on the same level.  She looked up to him.  She didn't dare call or text him, fearing she would be wasting his time.  Also, she couldn't see him for who he was--in her mind he was still the fresh faced singer and dancer who had captured her heart all those years ago.  She didn't get his dry humor, thinking he was just saying things.  She didn't understand his shyness, thinking it was an act in front of the camera.  She didn't realize, at least consciously, that he was a different person.  

After years of working together though, she'd finally gotten past all that.  So he wasn't the perfect man as he'd been in her teenage dreams.  He was impatient.  He was shy.  He couldn't act.  But he was sharp and witty. He was physically fit.  Most importantly, he was real.  He was no longer just a projection that she created for herself.  She got to know him as he was.  She could relate to him on a personal level.  And they'd become more than just co-stars.  He became her friend. 

It was great.  She couldn't have imagined being close to him back when she was buying all his CDs and hanging posters of him on her wall.  But somewhere along the line, she'd become confused.  They were friends.  But she felt pangs of jealousy when he'd go easy on female guests.  She'd secretly pray that he'd embarrass himself in front of his noonas.  She was petty towards the young idol girls he was paired with.  

It didn't make any sense.  She knew he wasn't being sincere.  It was an act.  Well, at least most of it was.  He was shy in real life.  But he wasn't as helpless as he seemed on camera.  He could handle himself.  But in front of the cameras, he'd let the women win.  He'd pretend to be flustered by outbursts of aegyo.  He let women become his own personal kryptonite, the weakness to the great Spartakooks character.

She'd dismissed all that as subconscious and latent puppy love.  She'd loved him for years.  Idolized him.  Of course she'd have some leftover feelings. Even if he wasn't the dreamy, perfect man she'd imagined, it was still him.  It would be weird if all her various complicated feelings for him vanished immediately.  That's what she told herself.

But as they continued to see each other and work together, the feelings didn't disappear.  If anything, they got stronger.  As time went on, they spent more time together.  They made a great pairing.  Sparta and the Ace.  In many ways, they were the two powers in Running Man.  When they teamed up, they were basically unstoppable.  

That success proved addictive.  She would show up for filming, praying to be paired with him.  When it didn't happen, she was inevitably disappointed.  All this served to underscore just how conflicted her true feelings were.  It wasn't like she needed the gold prize.  She was competitive, but she didn't have a compulsive need to win.  She got along with the rest of the cast so it wasn't like she was choosing him because she hated everyone else.  No.  When she thought about it, she wanted to be paired with him because she liked spending time with him.  

With Jae Suk, there was intense pressure to talk and bring the funny.  He was an MC.  It was his nature.  With HaHa and Gwang Soo, it was a struggle to keep up with their energy.  Suk Jin and Gary were all too happy to sit in silence and not get screentime.  Jong Kook was a nice balance.  They just worked well together.

But it wasn't just confined to work.  They ate together.  They would work out together.  They saw each other at awards shows.  Somehow, he'd become a part of her life both personally and professionally.  She found herself calling him just to talk, looking forward to their next interaction.  Sure, this was a sign of friendship.  But she honestly couldn't say that she saw him as just a friend.

Friends didn't inspire butterflies in her stomach.  She didn't always care about looking nice in front of her other friends.  She didn't spend inordinate amounts of time trying to figure out how to please most of her friends.  But that was how she was with Jong Kook.  He made her nervous sometimes, especially when they touched, even incidentally.  She spent hours preening in front of the mirror, making sure her makeup was just right and her outfit just so before going out to meet him.  She read his interviews online, trying to find out his preferences so she could buy his favorite food, read his favorite book, watch his favorite movie so they'd have something to talk about.

She'd dismissed all that as just being friends.  But she knew it was a lie.  She didn't do all that because they were friends.  

But what were they then?  They weren't romantically involved.  She liked being with him and yes, he had a nice body, but she wasn't overcome with lust every time she saw him.  Truthfully, she'd had much stronger romantic feelings when she was a girl, and still saw him as the perfect man.  It wasn't like that anymore.  She didn't have the overwhelming feelings of a teenage crush.  

But then again, maybe she didn't need to.  She was older now.  Wiser.  Passion gave way to experience.  Idealism replaced by expediency.  Romanticism transformed into practicality.  She was a different Ji Hyo than the one who had declared Jong Kook her one true love all those years ago.  Maybe her feelings now were the same, just different.  A more mature kind of love.  Intimate on a different level, not driven by hormones or physical attraction but by human connection.  

She saw him approach through the window and waved to him to grab a seat.  All thoughts about their complicated relationship flew out of her mind as she mentally ran through her beauty checklist.  She desperately wanted to use the restroom to freshen up, but it was too late for that now.  She took a second to toss back her hair, and smooth it out.  

Jong Kook came around and took the seat across from her.  She studied his weathered face.  His eyes, small and beady, were shifty and evasive; he would not meet her eyes. His strong jaw line and shallow cheekbones gave his face an angular look.  His normal, relaxed expression was gone, replaced by a tightness around his eyes and mouth.  

She couldn't tell what was wrong until she hear him speak.  Sh could hear the tension in his voice, the strain in his words.  His words are stressed.  His pitch is a little high.  He's nervous.  She was so preoccupied with trying to figure him out that she wasn't really listening to what he was saying.  

"Ji Hyo, I like you."  Oh god.  He'd said it.  The words were out there.  There was no going back now.  

He waited, watching the emotions play out across her face.  There was surprise, shock, even panic in her eyes.  Blood rushed up to her face and her cheeks flushed, betraying her inner turmoil.  Still, she didn't say anything, and Jong Kook felt like he was dying.  He desperately wanted, no NEEDED to hear her say something, anything.  Because waiting in silence was torture.  

"Hey, no pressure, you don't have to say" he started but he was cut off as Ji Hyo practically tackled him.  As it was, she was leaning over the table, inches from his face, and he was too surprised to finish talking.  "Uh" he managed to get out before she brought her hand up to his face, pulled him close and dropped on his for their first kiss.  

When she finally released him, he didn't know what to say.  His mind was still reeling from the adrenaline.  He felt like he could run and film for days without rest.  He was happy.  The question was, was she?  He concentrated on her expression and was glad to see her grinning ear to ear.  "Oppa" she started to say, but now it was his turn to interrupt her with a kiss.  

When they broke apart the second time, he knew they belonged together.  He just knew.  And he needed her to know it too.  Their eyes met and he said the three words that were bursting from his heart.  "I love you."