Sweat beaded up at the corners of his eyes.  Blinking, he ignored their stinging presence and concentrated on his breathing.  In.  Out.  In.  Out. On the third "in" he lowered his arms and let the weighted bar come down towards his chest.  He stopped it, holding it a few inches above his prone body before exhaling and pushing it back up.  Arms fully extended, he let the weight redistribute between another set of hands.  Together, they slowly guided the bar back onto the rack. 

"Yah hyung!" cried his spotter, Siwon.  "That's a new record!"  Jong Kook accepted the towel from Siwon and wiped the sweat off his face.  His arms burned from the strain of lifting 225 lbs 50 times. Groaning, he pulled himself up into a sitting position and accepted a congratulatory high five from Siwon.  The gym was his temple, his sanctuary and he was it's undisputed master.  There wasn't anyone here who could match his strength.

Besides, he needed to stay busy in order to keep his mind off of her.  Off of today.  Off his future, which was suddenly cloudy and uncertain.  

He tousled his damp hair and tossed the towel into the laundry bucket.  "Siwon ah, I'll see you later" he called to his friend.  Returning his friendly wave, Jong Kook walked back to the locker room and settled in for a nice, hot shower to wash away the sweat and grime from his workout.

"Dear viewers" started Jae Suk, introducing the show.  "This is our 300th episode and I just want to thank all our loyal viewers for supporting us for so long."  He lead the cast in a round of applause before continuing with the show.  "While this is a very special episode for us, since it's #300, this show is special for another reason"  he turned to face Jong Kook.  "This will be the last time Kim Jong Kook will be a regular on the show."  "NOOOOOOO!" screamed Gwang Soo, with some exaggerated grief.  HaHa rushed over to Jong Kook and wrapped him in a bear hug while burying his face in Jong Kook's broad chest.  "Hyung!  Don't go!" he sobbed.  

Though all this was staged, Jong Kook still had to fight back the tears that threatened to leak out his small eyes. He didn't really want to leave Running Man.  But he had no choice.  It was too complicated, too hard, to keep working with her.

She was the perfect woman in his eyes.  So she had a temper and sometimes zoned out.  But she was sharp as a knife.  Her mind, while not classically "book smart" was clever and well versed in practical thinking.  She was absolutely fearless.  There was just one problem.  He was standing to her left.  Gary.

Earlier in the year, it had been announced that after years of flirting and ual innuendo, Gary and Ji Hyo were a couple.  And that, ultimately, was why Jong Kook could no longer be on Running Man.  His heart couldn't take it.  He couldn't lie every week and pretend he was okay when every time he saw her he just wanted to go home and stay inside forever.  

He'd only once told her how he felt.  She laughed it off, thinking it was some kind of joke.  He just went along with it.  He knew he shouldn't have, but the embarrassment and stigma of rejection had demanded that he protect his pride and go along with her interpretation.  Every other time he had tried to bring it up, the timing just wasn't right.  Once, he'd come to see her just after she'd started seeing her co-star, Lee Dong Wook.  Another time, he'd been prepared to confess but couldn't because she chose that day to introduce him to her mother.  

Where Ji Hyo was concerned, nothing went his way.  Even now, he could not confess.  Because it was Gary.  His friend.  He couldn't hurt Gary and confess to Ji Hyo.  No matter how he felt, he just couldn't do that.  

He'd tried to make it work.  But it was impossible.  Every time they touched, he wanted to hold her.  Every time she spoke, he wanted to stop and just listen to her.  Her voice was so sweet, even as she swore with the most vile language.  He wanted to watch her, instead of doing the missions.  

He'd tried for a few months but it just wasn't working.  She kept treating him like nothing had changed, and for her, it hadn't.  But for him, seeing her gave him pangs of regret.  It reminded him of what could have been.  What should have been.  What he'd lost.  It hurt too much.  So he made up some excuse that filming was too hard, that his back was too badly injured for him to continue filming.  Since then, he'd been lost, trying to find something to keep his mind off of her.

Jong Kook toweled off all the water from the shower.  He spent the next half hour dressing himself up, grabbing a shirt, jacket, pants and tie.  Scratch that.  No tie.  He'd go open collar at the neck.  When he was satisfied with how he looked, he left.  Even though he didn't expect anyone to see him, he still had to look nice.

Parking in the hotel parking lot, he straightened his cuffs one last time and smoothed out his hair before walking into the lobby.  A sign directed him towards the hotel ballroom, "Kang Wedding Party."  The doors were closed.  The ceremony had already started, just as he'd planned.  Their was nobody at the door.  He signed the guest book at the registration table but ignored the nametags.  He wouldn't need one.

Quietly, he slipped in the door.  Across the room, Kang Gary stood across from Song Ji Hyo.  She looked beautiful in her white dress.  Gary, for his part, looked decent in his tux.  They exchanged words that Jong Kook couldn't hear and then kissed as the crowd clapped and cheered.

Jong Kook stayed in the corner, trying to avoid attention as the bride and groom walked back down the aisle.  He didn't want to be seen.  Though many of his friends had asked if he was coming, including most of his old Running Man cast mates, he'd answered no.  But he couldn't stay away.  Not this time.  As Gary and Ji Hyo walked back down the aisle, greeting their family and friends, he slunk back to the door and quietly let himself out.

Ji Hyo was shaking hands with all her friends when she noticed a familiarly broad back near the door.  Looking carefully, she couldn't make out a face since his back was turned, but she only knew of one person who was so cut and muscular.  Kim Jong Kook.  But before she could get a good look, the man was gone.  Soon, he was forgotten as she partied with friends and family, celebrating her marriage.  But at the end of the day, she remembered.  Unsure, she looked at the guest book.  There, at the bottom of the last page, was the name.  Kim Jong Kook.