"Oppa you're an idol.  And I'm a nobody.  It just can't be."  

18 years later, the words still burned in his ears.  For all he'd accomplished, professionally, musically, personally, he'd always been one thing short of happiness.  

18 years ago, he'd met her.  He was performing on stage.  The lights were shining, blinding out the audience in front of him.  Except for her.  It was like a dream.  He could see her face, surrounded by a halo from the stage lights.  And in that moment, he knew he had to find her.  

Her face plagued his dreams.  He saw it everywhere.  One day he was walking down the street when he saw her walking on the other side of the road.  He ran through traffic to catch her, risking his life just to see her.  It turned out to be just a figment of his imagination.  But stil he refused to give up.  He looked for her everywhere he went.

It was at a fan meeting that he finally found her again.  Unlike the countless other girls who had come, she wasn't surrounded by a giant group of friends.  She was shy and alone.  In her hand she held a poster and teddy bear.  He was busy signing stuff for another fan when she appeared in front of him, her turn finally up.  She offered him the teddy bear and asked him to sign her poster.  He wanted to do so much more than that.  But there were too many people around.  So he left her a message.  

"What's your name?" he asked, readying his pen.  "Cheon Seong Im" she replied, hesitantly.  "Cheon Seong Im" he wrote, "There is so much I want to say and so little can be written here on this poster. Let's talk next time.  I'm inviting you to our next concert.  You'll come right?  -Kim Jong Kook."  He handed back the poster but didn't let go when she reached out to take it.  He waited until she looked up from her feet and met his eyes.  "You're coming, right? he asked, tilting his head down while raising his eyes.  She blushed bright red and nodded.  He let go of the poster.  As she vanished back into the crowd, he called out after her, "You promised!"

Safely out of Jong Kook's sight, Ji Hyo screamed to herself with delight.  Hopping up and down with pure joy, she stared at his signature on her poster.  She traced the lines of his name with her finger.  Kim Jong Kook.  She was so happy.  Her whole body shook with excitement.  Every couple minutes, it would hit her again and she would go crazy, unable to believe what had just happened.  

Jong Kook meanwhile was looking forward to meeting her again.  The days flew by till the next concert.  His body no longer ached after practice.  There was an extra bounce in his step, an extra radiance in his voice.  He was like a whole new person.  Everybody around him could sense the change but nobody knew why.  Except for him.  He couldn't wait until he could see her again.  

When the lights came on and the music started, he searched the audience for her.  He looked everywhere, but he couldn't see her.  Nevertheless, he sang and danced his heart out, trusting that she was there and watching.  

Afterwards, he was exhausted.  He sat in the dressing room backstage, drinking water and resting his fatigued muscles.  Various staff and VIPs popped in and out and he acknowledged them courteously but kept looking for her.  Cheon Seong Im.  But still she didn't come.  

So after everyone else had gone, Jong Kook slowly walked out of his dressing room, shoulders hunched with rejection.  She didn't come.  He was so lost in his misery that he didn't notice her standing there, outside his dressing room waiting for him.  He trudged towards her, head staring at the floor, completely unaware of her presence until he was right in front of her.  He stopped only because he could sense there was something in his way.  When he looked up, he saw her, standing shyly in front of him, unable to speak.  

Words failed him.  Her left foot started tapping against the floor.  She was nervous.  She was holding her hands behind her back and she twisted under his gaze.  Neither of them said anything.  

Without a word, he stepped towards her.  His hand reached out and grabbed her hand.  He heard her gasp but before she could do anything else, he tugged on her arm and smoothly walked on, dragging her along behind him.  

He walked quickly, the urgency of the moment making him nervous.  He prayed his hands wouldn't get sweaty.  Through the corridors he dragged her, attracting attention from various singers and other performers making their way towards the dressing rooms and stage.  He kept his eyes forward and ignored them.  The sunbaes are not going to like this but I'll apologize later.  Right now, he needed some privacy.  

They finally reached the garage.  He lead her to his van and opened the door.  He still hadn't said a word to her.  It was only after she got in the van, that he finally was able to get a good look at her.  

Now that the moment was here, his mouth suddenly dried up.  The words he'd dreamed of saying to her, his bold confession he'd practiced in his mind were all scrambled.  Say something.  Anything.

Ji Hyo sat in the car, unsure of what to do.  She was nervous.  Her idol had invited her to his concert and now she was sitting with him in his car.  And next to her was the bear.  The bear she had given him.  He'd kept it.  

Jong Kook finally worked up enough courage to speak.  "Cheon Seung Im shi" he started then inwardly winced.  Shi?  She's not a halmoni.  What the hell are you doing.

Ji Hyo was taken aback by his words.  Does he not like me.  How could he call me Seung Im shi.  I'm younger than he is!  What does he mean?  

"Will you..." he started to ask but before he could get the words out, the van door opened and his manager peered in.  "Jong...." He froze when he saw her.  There was an awkward moment.  "Yah!!!!" he screamed before grabbing Jong Kook by the ear and dragging him out of the car.  "What are you two doing?" he screamed.  "Get out!"

Ji Hyo scrambled to get out of the car, hurrying before his managers temper became any worse.  "Hyung!" Jong Kook screamed, trying to resist.  In desperation, he yelled at her retreating back.  "Cheon Seung Im!  I like you!  Wait!"  

The words echoed through the parking garage.  Ji Hyo froze in her tracks, stunned by his desperate confession.  Behind her, the manager was also shocked into complete silence.   His face contorted into all sorts of angry and frustrated expressions and his skin flushed a bright red but he couldn't find the words to scream.  

Jong Kook took the opportunity to free his ear from his managers hold and chase after her.  His manager, completely shocked, belatedly chased after him. "JONG KOOK AH!" he shouted after him.  "KIM JONG KOOK!"

Jong Kook reached Ji Hyo.  "Seung Im ah" he said, taking her hands in his.  "Wait for me.  I'll come for you."  His eyes locked in on hers and she could see the sincerity in his eyes, in his heart.  

But his manager was still screaming after him.  And moreover, Ji Hyo knew that it could never work.  He was an idol singer.  She was a nobody.  A girlfriend could destroy his career.  Despite her selfish feelings for him, she couldn't take him for herself.  

"Oppa you're an idol.  And I'm a nobody.  It just can't be."  And with that, she pulled her hands away from his and turned and walked away.  Tears slowly ran down her face and she dared not turn back for another look.  Wiping a tear away with her hand, she couldn't hold it in any longer and ran away.  

18 years ago she'd run out of his life. For 18 years, he'd dreamed of the moment where they would meet again, where she would come to him and say she was wrong all those years ago.  He'd dreamed of her begging for forgiveness, saying she was scared but now realizing she loved him.  And he would coolly forgive her and all would be perfect.  

But while in many ways, his dreams had come true, she still eluded him.  Over the years, he'd watched as she became a trainee, a rookie actress, and now a bonafide superstar.  And he'd waited for the perfect moment to reveal himself to her.  To try again and win her affections.  But the timing was never right.

Now she was engaged to her company CEO.  He turned the glass of soju in his hand and pondered it.  He didn't drink.  Alcohol tasted horrible and wasn't good for his health.  But a drink sounded just like what he needed.  18 years. 18 years of waiting for the right time.  And it never came.  

Of course, it had come.  It came but he'd missed it.  She'd been single before.  But something had stopped him every time.  His own fear.  Fear of failure.  Fear of her rejection.  Fear that what happened 18 years ago would happen again.  But somehow, even without him trying, it was happening again anyway.

That was enough to get him to drink.  Without a 2nd thought, he skulled the shot of soju and poured himself another one.  He'd had his chances. And he'd wasted them.  And for what.  To protect his pride?  What pride did he have left, drinking alone in a bar.  No.  He hadn't saved his pride.  He hadn't saved his love.  He'd wasted it.  

But he still had one last shot.  She wasn't married yet.  Dragging himself off the barstool, he reached in his pocket and threw enough bills to cover his drinks before leaving the bar.  He'd waited 18 years for this moment.  He wasn't going to wait anymore.

Ji Hyo opened the door and was surprised to see Jong Kook in front of it.  He looked like he'd been having a rough time.  His hair was tousseled and his clothes smelled like cigarettes and alcohol.  Which was weird because he didn't smoke or drink.  But she could smell the alcohol on his breath.  Something big must have been bothering him.  "What is it?" she asked.  

"Ji Hyo ya" he said.  He wasn't drunk though he could tell she thought he was.  "I love you.  For 18 years I've loved you.  I've tried to deny it.  I tried to stay away.  I tried to ignore it and wait for you to come to me but you never did and now you're getting married and I just had to say it.  I love you."  He paused and tried to gauge her reaction but didn't like what he saw.  She was standing away from him.  Far enough away that he couldn't draw her in with his arms.  Far enough away to keep intimacy at bay.  Far enough to show him that she didn't want him.  It was enough to break his heart.  But he'd already started and damn it he was going to finish.  18 years was a long time to hold it all in.

"I know you think I'm drunk but I'm not.  I know you think I must be crazy or something but I'm not.  Cheon Seung Im, I've loved you ever since I saw you at that Turbo concert when you came to see me and brought me a teddy bear and asked me to sign your poster.  I've waited 18 years to say this to you and for 18 years I've dreamed of confessing to you and starting a life together with you.  For 18 years I've been waiting for a moment to say this to you.  Falling even more in love with you.  Trying to find the perfect time to say this all to you.  And I know my timing .  You just got engaged but I had to say it.  Because if not now I'll never be able to say it."  

She was still standing there.  It looked as if his words were not having any effect.  Heartbroken, he decided to end his confession and leave with whatever shreds of dignity he could recover.  

"I'm sorry, Cheon Seung Im ah"  he said, exhaling a deep sigh that seemed to come from deep in his soul.  "But I love you.  I wanted you to know."  Looking down at his feet, he walked back towards her door, too embarrassed to meet her eyes.  If he had though, he would have seen her take a step forwards.  But for the first time in 18 years, he felt a weight lift off his shoulders.  At least she knew now.  He'd found his moment.  And so there was hope.  Just a sliver.  Hanging on a moment.  A moment he'd waited 18 years for.