Confessions... Or not.
Where I Belong
It’d been two weeks since he’d last spoken to Yong Junhyung, and while the others didn’t say anything about it, he knew they’d all noticed. At first, he’d wondered if the rapper had told them, but after a day or two, he’d decided they hadn’t been told. Well, he sure as hell wasn’t going to tell them!
Only Doojoon seemed to know anything. The looks he gave Hyunseung were full of understanding. He never spoke about whether he knew, or brought the rapper up in their private conversations. Still, Hyunseung was almost positive the leader knew, and he was quietly grateful that he hadn’t brought it up.
Sighing as he scrubbed shampoo through his hair, he tilted his head back to look at the bathroom ceiling. There had to be an easier way to survive their first years as a rookie group… Fighting amongst each other would only destroy them.
But it wasn’t his fault! He’d done nothing wrong!
Frustrated, the dancer scrubbed furiously and finished the rest of his shower with a renewed vigor. When he emerged from the shower damp and clean, he still felt sour. It showed in the angry way he dried off, rubbing his skin until it was red and his hair until the brown locks were severely scattered and his scalp felt sore.
“If that’s the way you normally dry your hair, you’re lucky it hasn’t fallen out from the abuse.”
Hyunseung stiffened in the process of pulling his briefs and sleep shorts on, his entire form seeming to freeze in place. The towel he’d looped around his neck hung a little lopsided but didn’t fall as he slowly straightened up and turned his horrified gaze onto the source of the familiar voice.
Junhyung stood against the door, an unfathomable expression on his smooth face. How the hell had he gotten into the bathroom without Hyunseung hearing? The dancer looked away and made a wild grab for his shirt. The towel slipped from his neck and he pulled the tank over his head. When his head slipped up through the neck hole, he was met with the same face, but the expression was now bearing traces of masculine amusement instead.
“You know, I don’t think I ever realized just how clumsy you can be when you’re not onstage,” Junhyung mused quietly, holding the towel up by one finger. Hyunseung’s eyes glinted in annoyance. It was just a brief flash of it, but it was there, and encouraged the rapper. If there was annoyance, there was hope for an easier reconciliation. If there had been only discomfort and nervousness, he’d have been screwed.
“I am not clumsy,” Hyunseung replied stiffly. He didn’t move as Junhyung brought the towel up and ruffled through his hair with it. His touch was infinitely more gentle than Hyunseung’s own had been, but the dancer still ducked his head ever so slightly.
The bathroom was silent for a time, the only sounds coming from behind the closed door. Yoseob’s muffled cheer of joy and the subsequent sound of a spinout could be heard, as if from some distance away. Finally, Junhyung broke the silence.
“I was jealous.”
Hyunseung looked up at him as the towel rubbed and scattered his hair every which way, sometimes obstructing his view of the rapper’s face. “Huh?”
Junhyung sighed and stopped, pulling the towel away. With a quick flick, the towel wound up on the sink and he turned his attention back onto Hyunseung. “I was jealous.”
The idea was so ludicrous Hyunseung had to stifle a laugh. The effort was not lost on Junhyung, who fixed him with a glower so intense that it contrasted sharply with the image forming in Hyunseung’s mind. Yong Junhyung, jealous? Hyunseung snorted and bit his lip to hold the laughter in, refusing to allow it to bubble up.
“Of what?” He asked when he was finally able to speak.
“Yeah, yeah, laugh it up,” Junhyung muttered, but Hyunseung’s inability to keep a straight face had him fighting a smile as well. The corners of his mouth twitched, turning upward slightly. “I wanted to pummel our precious leader in the middle of that hallway.”
Hyunseung’s expression at once became serious, eyes wide and luminous. “Doojoon?”
“Mhm.” Junhyung confirmed, and plucked at the tank Hyunseung wore. “Yoon Doojoon.”
“But he and Yoseob-”
“I know.”
“He would never-”
“I know.”
“He was just-”
“I’m aware of that. Now.”
Hyunseung stared at him, the barest traces of a frown lining his brow. “Why would you be jealous? You don’t even like me.”
“Not true.”
The simplicity of that statement roused the most shock from the dancer. Junhyung watched as his face actually paled. Well, that was just great. Not only did he scare the daylights out of Hyunseung every other day of the week, but apparently any affection he felt would send him straight into convulsions.
Junhyung shoved a restless hand through his hair, exhaling sharply. “I shouldn’t have said anything. It’s not like I’m confessing love or something. Look, just… Just stop avoiding me, alright?”
As quickly as Hyunseung’s face had lost color, it quickly mottled with red. His almond eyes hardened and glittered as he looked up into Junhyung’s face from beneath his hair. “Confessing love? Why would that be an issue? You’ve stated you like me yet you belittled and insulted me in public. No one in their right mind would accept a profession of love after treatment such as that!”
For a moment Junhyung was truly shaken by the cool steel in a voice that was usually soft and timid. While he’d not known the dancer for long, and certainly nowhere near the length of time Yoseob had known him, it was still entirely unusual to be spoken to in such a way. He was left staring down into the pretty face that currently regarded him in a frosty contempt. His dazed state cost him, as Hyunseung gathered his dirty clothing and towel before shoving past him.
The door didn’t open right away. Hyunseung had stopped with his hand on the knob. “I’ll forgive what happened in that hallway, Yong Junhyung. But don’t think I am one to tease and toy with for the fans, then cast aside at the first opportunity later. If publicity is what you want, play with Yoseob or Kikwang. From now on I’ll not tolerate your friendly behavior unless it is genuine.”
Junhyung actually flinched when the door closed with a quiet but firm click behind him. What the hell just happened?
---
Hyunseung leaned against the bathroom door and exhaled shakily, feeling drained and anxious. It had taken every last ounce of strength to speak to the rapper that way, and he already felt terrible for doing so, but the other’s words had stung. More than anything else, though, Hyunseung felt confused. For weeks since they’d moved into the dorm, Junhyung had behaved as though his interest were more than simply desiring friendship. Hyunseung had tried hard to accept friendship, and really hadn’t understood the rapper’s behavior until Doojoon had pointed it out to him in his gentle way one afternoon. That had been the day before the incident.
And now? What was he supposed to do? Junhyung had come to apologize, presumably, and what had Hyunseung done? Started a quarrel with him based on a poor choice of words. He felt miserable and exhausted.
Across the room, Doojoon saw the expression of abject misery. Damn… He couldn’t leave it alone any longer. The two were terrible at communicating verbally, apparently. Sighing, he carefully extricated himself from the lazy and somewhat haphazard sprawl of Yoseob’s limbs. The singer just grabbed the pillow Doojoon had been using and tucked it under his chin so he could continue to play.
“Hyunseung.”
Doojoon’s voice was quiet and steady, but whatever the dancer had been thinking about was clearly distracting him because the small form jumped and nearly dropped his dirty clothing on the floor. The feline eyes they’d come to adore looked up at him in uncertainty, and Doojoon found another sigh escaping before he could stop it.
Grabbing the clothing from his bandmate, he deposited it in the right place and grabbed Hyunseung’s arm. “Come on. It’s time we talk about a few things.”
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