Always Watching
Where I Belong
Keeping an eye on Hyunseung was quickly going from a form of mild interest to obsession. Quite frankly, it was starting to worry Junhyung. Whenever he entered a room his eyes automatically sought out the dancer, often finding him at the computer if they were at home. In dressing rooms, Hyunseung was usually in a corner practicing or just quietly sitting on a sofa. During dance practice, he was usually beside Yoseob, both of them helping the maknae when he had trouble with choreography. Hyunseung was always the first to notice when one of the members was even half a second behind on the choreography, and was surprisingly adept at bringing it up gently so as not to offend anyone. It was endearing in its own quiet way.
Purely Hyunseung...
Junhyung had tried numerous times to include Hyunseung in conversations when they were all in the living room, but every time the other boy would clam up and leave Junhyung feeling like an just for speaking to him. If anyone else noticed it, they didn't mention it in front of Hyunseung. However, they made sure to find Junhyung at the first available moment and speak to him about it.
During one such discussion with Doojoon, the rapper nearly lost his cool.
"I am trying, Doojoon! He doesn't want to be anywhere near me! It's him, not me!"
Doojoon sighed, frowning at the rapper currently pacing back and forth in front of him. It was unusual to see Junhyung so worked up over Hyunseung. Come to think of it, it was the first time he’d ever seen him worked up at all. He rubbed the back of his neck and looked at the wall of the bedroom, where one of Hyunseung’s posters hung.
“I know you try, Junhyung. To an extent.” When the rapper would have protested, he held a hand up to ask for silence and closed his eyes briefly. “I’m not going to scold. What I’m saying is that you try in the wrong way.”
Junhyung stopped pacing and frowned at the band leader. “What… do you mean? The wrong way?”
“You can’t use tough love on Hyunseung. You can’t push him too hard to accept you, either. It’s like you said before, Junnie. He’s been rejected. More than once, and probably by more than just those companies,” Doojoon sat down on the end of Kikwang’s bed and looked up at his bandmate.
Junhyung stared at him, eyes narrowing thoughtfully in what Hyunseung usually assumed was an unfriendly glare. “So I was right. It has affected him. Just not in the way everyone thought it had."
"Yes and no. Part of it is that it's just... Hyunseung," Stretching one long leg out, Doojoon shrugged a shoulder and leaned against the wall. "He's quiet by nature, and pretty shy until he gets to know you. He's still not entirely comfortable with Yoseob, even. And you know how quickly Yoseob operates making friends."
Junhyung scowled. "So I'm screwed."
"Not completely. Just... marginally."
"Entirely."
"Partially."
"Doojoon."
"Okay. You're screwed."
"Thanks.." Junhyung muttered, then looked at him suspiciously. "Hold on... How do you even know all of this about him?"
Doojoon's ears tinted pink and he shifted on the bed. "Yoseob has been friends with him for a little while. They met after Hyunseung's last rejection. Yoseob talked him into joining our trainee program."
"Uh-huh..." Junhyung's eyes narrowed again, making Doojoon open his mouth to say something more. The rapper held a hand up. "I don't want to know. It's between the two of you." He turned to go, rubbing the back of his head with a strangely dejected feeling.
"Junnie."
"Hm?" He glanced over his shoulder at Doojoon, frustrated but no longer glaring.
Doojoon smiled weakly. "Nevermind."
It felt like it only got worse from there. The lithe young male was never beside Junhyung unless necessary, something which did not escape his notice. Kikwang’s earlier statement started to weigh heavily on Junhyung’s mind as time went on and Hyunseung slowly grew more at ease with the others.. but not with Junhyung.
It was really starting to worry him.
It was also extremely annoying.
Yoseob was always hanging on him, though not nearly so much as he did with Doojoon. Hyunseung would always just stand there and let him, looking mildly irritated from time to time but ultimately allowing it. Dongwoon was always striking up some sort of conversation with him out of earshot, and sometimes it would rouse a short burst of laughter from Hyunseung. Even Doojoon had managed to get the dancer more comfortable around him, and it was not uncommon to see him patting his shoulder or head on his way by.
And Hyunseung would smile.
Not a big one, but it was still a smile.
It made Junhyung want to punch something.
So he started trying to pay less attention to the other boy, leaving before Hyunseung was finished practicing each night and going to bed before him as well. He made no attempts to include him in conversation when he himself was part of it, and instead just sat quietly while Hyunseung would talk with the others. There were a few times when he looked up during a performance and saw Hyunseung’s eyes on him, but the dancer always looked away immediately. Junhyung doubled his efforts.
It didn't work for long, considering he nearly always woke up with Hyunseung doing a fantastic imitation of a permanent growth on him in the morning. Sometimes the dancer would be snuggled into his back, other times his side. Junhyung started sleeping lighter so he could wake up the second the other boy started to shift beside him in the morning, slipping out of bed before Hyunseung could fully wake up. Doojoon was the only one who noticed, since he was the first member to wake each day. He didn't say anything, but Junhyung knew they both understood that sooner or later Junhyung's way of doing things was going to make him crack.
Comments