Baby Steps
Where I Belong
“Did we have to go through it the last ten times, Doojoon-hyung?” Dongwoon pouted as they all climbed out of the van and trudged tiredly inside.
“Yes, we did. Now of all times is the most important. We have to always keep the choreography fresh in our minds so we don’t forget it and make mistakes.”
“But we skipped dinner…”
Junhyung smirked and shook his head at the maknae’s hungry whine as he slipped in behind Hyunseung in the elevator. The dancer had his eyes closed most of the way up, and though it was a short ride Junhyung worried that he might fall asleep standing up. Thankfully when the doors opened so did his eyes, and Hyunseung was the first to exit and head for their door.
“Don’t worry, Dongwoonie. Manager hyung said we could get pizza tonight. Just snack until it gets here.” Kikwang said cheerfully. Even he was tired, but as usual he and Yoseob seemed in very uppity spirits. He patted Dongwoon on the shoulder as they went into their dorm, each member slipping off their shoes in the entryway before scattering throughout their home.
Hyunseung, tired though he was, drifted toward the computer immediately. His intent was obvious after weeks of the same routine; after the computer was booted up, he’d pull up their main fan site and browse.
Kikwang and Dongwoon went straight for the kitchen to munch on something until dinner, and Doojoon guided Yoseob toward the bathroom to start the nightly order of showers. As per usual, Yoseob tried to stall until Doojoon went in the bathroom with him. Everyone ignored the giggling and Doojoon’s indignant but strangely half-hearted protests.
Junhyung was the only one who had started to break his own routine. Tonight, he stood in the open area between the living room and the entryway, watching Hyunseung quietly. Shrewd brown eyes were quick to notice the way the dancer would tilt his head first one way, then the other, before rubbing the back of his neck and tilting his head back a little. Then came the sharp staccato of nails tapping on the floor beside him while he waited for the computer to start up completely. Junhyung leaned against the wall and crossed his arms over his chest.
“Seungie, do you want anything?” Kikwang asked, sticking his head out of the kitchen.
“No thanks. I’ll wait for dinner. Don’t eat too much,” Hyunseung replied, clicking the mouse to pull up a browser window. He’d started putting more words in a sentence as his ease with the members grew, so Kikwang didn’t hesitate and stare the way he used to. He just nodded and ducked back into the kitchen while Hyunseung started the process of stretching his neck again, this time rolling his shoulders a bit.
It didn’t surprise him to feel a pair of hands on his shoulders as someone slipped down to sit behind him. Assuming it was the usual suspect, he typed in his username and password for the fan site and started browsing. “Aren’t you supposed to be in the shower, Seobie?”
Junhyung said nothing at first, leaning close to the dancer’s back with his legs crossed. He didn’t rest his chin on Hyunseung’s shoulder as Yoseob normally did, which should have been the first clue. Instead, he kept his hands where they were and started massaging, thumbs digging in as they rubbed in circles over tired muscles. As Hyunseung’s head dropped forward and a relieved groan escaped, the rapper smirked. “It wouldn’t kill you to take it easy for a few days, you know. You took quite a tumble the other day.”
Hyunseung stiffened briefly at the very last voice he had expected to hear, but the massaging continued and before he could stop himself he was relaxing into it all over again. “S-So did you.”
“I didn’t have anyone land on top of me, either.” Junhyung reminded him as his hands moved downward and his thumbs hit a knot near a shoulder blade. He frowned in concentration and doubled his efforts in that area, glancing up at the back of Hyunseung’s head when he heard a muffled whimper. Yup, he was getting the knot.
“H-How come you’re… ah…”
“Massaging your shoulders? You’re sore.”
“No. I mean ah… the uh… How come you’re being so..”
“Nice?”
“Uh.. Yeah.”
Junhyung moved his hands back up as the knot finally loosened, this time focusing on the back of Hyunseung’s neck. “Well..” He paused and frowned until the dancer sighed. It was a sound of relief and pleasure, and he felt oddly thrilled by it. Regaining his train of thought, he decided to evade the question. “You’re really tense. You shouldn’t let your body get this knotted up. It isn’t good.”
“Mm.” Hyunseung couldn’t formulate a better answer, too lost in enjoyment at that point. He didn’t notice the utter silence in the kitchen that he normally would have.
Dongwoon and Kikwang stood in the middle of the kitchen, staring into the living room with their mouths open. The maknae had a glass of juice and a banana in his hands, while Kikwang held a sandwich. Neither could make themselves move, staring with wide eyes at the couple on the living room floor.
When Junhyung could find no more knots, he let his hands drop to his own knees and finally leaned forward to drop his chin on Hyunseung’s shoulder. “Better?”
At first Hyunseung just sat there, a little confused and surprised by the sudden flood of attention. He didn’t shrug the other male off, much to the rapper’s relief. Eventually he managed to regain his composure and took a quick breath in before returning his attention to the computer. Several mouse clicks brought up a fresh posting from the variety show filming they’d done yesterday. “Mhm… You should eat something.”
“Mm..” Junhyung hummed noncommittally and shrugged even though Hyunseung couldn’t see it. “I’ll eat when the pizza is here. Nice pics.”
“Mhm.”
The number of pictures from the filming was surprising, and the quality even more so. He wasn’t surprised to find that a good number of those pictures came when the members were baring their stomachs for all to see, but even Junhyung wasn’t expecting so many pictures of his attentions to Hyunseung.
“Junhyung?”
“Mm?” He frowned as Hyunseung stopped scrolling and removed his hand from the mouse. Damn it, he wanted to see the rest! Reaching around the smaller form, he himself resumed scrolling and clicking while Hyunseung’s hands settled into his own lap.
Hyunseung hesitated, turning his head just enough so he could see Junhyung’s face while the pictures continued scrolling up the screen. At the last second, he sighed and looked back at the computer. “Nothing.”
“Seobie’s abs are almost as good as yours.”
Kikwang choked on a bite of his sandwich.
---
“How long have they been like that?” asked Doojoon as he looked at the two still browsing on the computer. Freshly showered and changed, he and Yoseob had emerged from the bathroom to see Junhyung up against Hyunseung’s back, arms around his waist while the dancer clicked and scrolled.
“Since about ten minutes after you and Seobie started the shower.” Kikwang said.
“There was a massage first,” Dongwoon mumbled on his way out of the kitchen and toward the bathroom.
Yoseob’s eyes widened. “Eh?” He turned to Doojoon in bewilderment. “What should we do?”
Doojoon frowned, still staring at the two thoughtfully. If Junhyung had been paying as much attention to the dancer as Doojoon thought he had, then this really shouldn’t come as a surprise. After all, he’d been watching the two interact for ages now. He’d seen the way Junhyung had tried to gain his acceptance and trust, had watched Hyunseung’s skittish tendency any time the rapper paid him attention.
He’d also seen the restless pacing after the incident. Junhyung had been like a captive wolf, edgy and coiled to spring at the first provocation. It had been an immense relief for Doojoon when he’d ushered everyone to bed that night and seen the two curled up in Junhyung’s bed. That had been the most relaxed he’d seen their gruff rapper all night.
Still… to see Junhyung in a position that was normally Yoseob’s, and Hyunseung accepting it…
“We don’t draw any attention to it,” Doojoon murmured gently. At Yoseob’s puzzled protest, he shook his head and gave the smaller boy a one-armed hug, quietly delighting in the instant relaxation that meant Yoseob was giving in. “You know Seungie better than I do, Seobie. Think about it.”
It wasn’t hard to see the wheels turning in Yoseob’s head as he looked the two over. Doojoon was right; he did know Hyunseung quite well. Because of that, he knew how difficult it was for his friend to accept physical contact to the extent which he himself normally pushed. The fact that Hyunseung was not pushing Junhyung away and seemed completely relaxed as the rapper cuddled him and they looked through fan posts said a lot. It said entirely too much about what Hyunseung probably had yet to fully understand.
They'd all watched week after week as Hyunseung slowly accepted them all while Junhyung had been forced to live with very little contact, verbal or physical. It had been difficult on all of them to see such a struggle, especially on Junhyung's part. In the last few days alone, a lot of progress had been made. It was all in baby steps and wouldn't seem much to others, but to those who'd been waiting, those baby steps could have been giant leaps. If too much attention was drawn to this one instance, it might undo the progress that had been made between the two.
Yoseob sighed. “Okay… Can we watch television then?”
Doojoon chuckled and ruffled his hair. “Go find one of your shows. I’ll get a couple of drinks. And no,” He shook his head as Yoseob opened his mouth, “You cannot have an energy drink or soda. I’m getting juice for both of us. It’s too late for caffeine.”
Yoseob scowled but did as he was told just the same, settling down on the floor with a pillow as he channel surfed. Sometimes Doojoon could be a little overprotective about the silliest things…
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