hellowwww everybody ... it's a REALLY long time no see huh?? 

I'm sorry for not coming back in a long time caused you know... I've been busy with all assignment I have to do in my university

but ooh! I'm not coming with a empty handed ... I bring my update here

I hope you can enjoy reading it and as always 

don't forget to leave comment *wink

so I will go now *pyong

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May 28, 2014

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When I was young I made a vow. I wouldn’t love anyone and made someone else unhappy. I would never be like father who abandoned all of us. But right now I’m doing exactly the same thing as my father did … Jaejoong always thought that way in everyday, every minutes even every seconds in his mind. He could never understand why he still want to be this man’s side though he knew that he already made the dream-man always gone mad.

Just like tonight and another night when they stay alone on their shared-bedroom. There are nothing but a moans and sound from their love-making session. The ramming sound came from their connected body making it more intense. The air filled with their sweat and voice.

A young man had already out of breath. His chest going up and down catching his breath within his activity. His saliva flowing out as he can’t prevent his mouth to open while he tried desperately to catch-up the movement of the man whom topping him now.

“Why are you… doing something like this to me? Yunho-ssh …” Jaejoong asked as he still trying to catch his breath desperately, only got a cold gaze filled with a rage from the man on top of him. He didn’t utter a single word from Jaejoong’s plead.

“Yunho-sshi, please… stop this…” Jaejoong plead with all his might. His breath never comeback normally. He felt like somehow he got an asthma from doing this kind of activity with now-called-his husband.

Not even listening to his plea, Yunho grab Jaejoong’s manhood while penetrating him like crazy below. “Didn’t I tell you to call me ‘Yunho’? Since you are now my wife you should be more intimate with me,” whispered Yunho into Jaejoong’s ear as if he tried to buried those word into Jaejoong’s brain. He Jaejoong’s ear afterwards. Caressing the most sensitive part of Jaejoong making it leaking with a white fluids little by little, wetting his hands.

“No… Stop. Yunho. Please.. stop this…,” Jaejoong plead. He tried as could as he can to stabilize his body while Yunho still made a use of his body with no rest. His breath is almost down. His eyes were blurred for a long time from the tears.

Jaejoong only hope that somehow this intimate thing Yunho called earlier will end soon. There’s no love. It’s just a lust that make their body connected, that’s what Jaejoong’s thought. Yet, his heart yearns for love from the dream-man  he is now live with.

***

A night comes. Stars decorating the horizon beautifully as if they don’t want to leave us with a dark. The palace are quite now, moreover on the Jaejoong’s chamber. He is now clean after taking bath. He buttoned up his shirt when a voice made him a little shock.

“Jaejoong-sshi, I’ve brought you the outfit for tomorrow’s banquet,” informed Hangeng. He bring a white-silk outfit which embordired with a gold combines with blue and red thread on top of it, a typical royal’s outfit.

On the other hand Jaejoong didn’t pay any attention to Hangeng, he still busy buttoning his shirt. Then a voice come out from him after a long fighting inside his head whether he ask or not to this secretary. “Yunho..?” asked Jaejoong a little afraid.

“He’s gone back to work. But … he’s not in a good mood,” Hangeng tried slowly to answer.

Jaejoong feels his heart throb. “It’s all my fault, isn’t it?” he asked bitterly. Even when our bodies are connected… I can feel that our hearts are separating farther and farther away… this is exactly what I fear for … He knew, somehow, he felt like he was the cause of all this. The thought of that is enough to made Jaejoong in pain.

Hangeng shocked after hearing Jaejoong’s statement. He never knew that this beautiful yet fragile boy in front of him could ever thing such a condition. His eyes were red from so much cry which is it made him somewhat pity him.

“There’s nothing I can do right?” asked Jaejoong gently yet so bitter. “Just as I thought… we weren’t supposed to go on with the wedding after all,” exclaimed Jaejoong with his head hung down. He feels so wrong in the first place. He couldn’t thing anything good from the start he enter this kind of family, royal family moreover.

“ “To become the King, the Crown Prince must marry the bride chosen by the Previous King” …” Hangeng tried to comfort as soft as he can. “It’s the old custom, and there a re times when it invites unhappiness. Yunho-sshi’s father, before he became the Present King… the Previous King had chosen a fiance for him. Even though  I stood back and rejected, the Present King wouldn’t let me go,” Hangeng paused.

Jaejoong tilt his head, looking up to Hangeng whom now in an uncomfortable position. He adjusting his glasses although it didn’t come down. Jaejoong just silent, listening all of Hangeng’s words thoroughly.

“Yunho-sshi was born in the middle of such situation. Since he was young, he’s used to see this and involves himself in this king’s rivalry. Without anyone realizing it, he became someone who cannot put a trust in other people,” he continued. “However, he’s never blame me. Not even once. Me, who had sinfully broke his family apart…”

Without continuing his words Hangeng bows to Jaejoong, making Jaejoong jump in surprised. “Mister secretary …”

“So please … please … whatever happens, stay by his side,” Hangeng plead with all his might within his bows. Jaejoong froze in spot. He could no move, couldn’t responds to this secretary’s behavior.

***

Yunho-sshi has given up a lot of things. Family. Brother. Friends. Even his own happiness. The fragment of the secretary keep flying inside Jaejoong’s thought. He wander around the mansion, looking for the lonely man he want to comfort.

His steps stop on the spacious room filled with a lot of book collection.

“Excuse me…” Jaejoong tried to inform anybody who stay here about his whereabouts. . Looking in awe of those wide collection of books surrounds him. But there is no reply. He continue his steps forwards just to find a glowing-aura came from a man sleeping on the couch. He rested his head on the back of his palm when his elbow supporting it on the chair’s arm.

He looks so exhausted. His face shows all of his problem he faced all alone. There is no one staying by his side to support him.

“Even though I have been abandoned by my parents and left all alone, I still got auntie and a lot of friends. But Yunho? Even when he is surrounded by a lot of people he is all alone,” thought Jaejoong when inspecting Yunho’s tired face.

Jaejoong kneeled beside Yunho’s sleeping body. Examine all of his face. Take a look closer while he could do. Now Jaejoong know that he is different from Yunho. Somehow, in his heart he couldn’t hate this man before him after all of what Yunho did to him in this past days.

Jaejoong stacks his arms slowly on the Yunho’s lap, not wanting to wake him up. He rested his head on it while his brain busy thinking all of the possible thing he had until today. When Jaejoong’s brain tired of thinking, his eyes also tired to stay awake which drive him to sleep.

Yunho on the other hand stirred from the lack sleep caused of his sleeping position. He shocked when he open his eyes the first thing he saw is a boy sleeping soundlessly on his lap. “What…?!” he shocked.

But then he put a time to take a look at those boy’s sleeping face. He’s so calm. So peaceful.